Chords for Your Favorite Martian - Date Myself

You ever feel like you're dating the same type of person over and over again?
She said she's not really into me.
_ She said we ain't got [Am] no chemistry.
What?
She said [F] she's already sick of me.
_ [Dm] Oh well, well, well, well, well.
I'm too lazy [A] to get tired of the first date.
[F] I'm doing my best [E] but they just go [B] south.
I never should have tried in the first place.
[F] I should have just stayed [E] back at my house.
It feels [A] like a damn job interview.
[F] I gotta impress [E] her with who I [A] am.
Cause I gotta pay for the dinner too.
[F] Why does it feel [E] like I just got [A] scammed?
I'm not that impressive.
[F] I'm way below average.
[E] I live with my grandma.
[A] My bank's overdrafted.
My band's gonna make it.
[F] When pay it'll happen.
[C#m] So why do I do it?
I hate all [C] this badness.
I feel [F] like I could be a perfect [E] mate but it's useless.
[A]
Whenever I ask for a second [F] date, they always [E] make excuses.
[Am]
Come on.
She said she's not really into me.
She said we [E] ain't got no [Am] chemistry.
_ She said she's [B] already sick [F] of me. Hold up.
[E] I'm just gonna date [A]
myself.
_ _ I don't like anyone else.
_ _ [G] _ [E] I'm gonna date myself. _
[A] _ _ _ [F] I don't [E] like anyone else.
[A] _
_ _ _ I'm gonna [E] date myself.
[A]
Dating myself is [F] pretty amazing.
There's a lot of [A] things we have similar tastes in.
He plays Skyrim in [F] Civilization.
His favorite [E] bagel?
Cinnamon [A] raisin.
His jokes are funny.
I'm always [F] laughing.
He dresses [C] nice.
We're always [A] matching.
He's good at rapping.
His beats are [F] slapping.
And plus, [Am] he's really attractive.
We like the same [F] movies.
We've got the [Am] same passions.
We eat the same [F] food.
I'll have what he's [A] having.
I was just trying to find [F] myself [E] and now I'm beside [A] myself.
The last girl that I was [F] with said,
Girl, fuck yourself.
So I [Am] did.
She said she's not really into me.
She [Dm] said we ain't [E] got no chemistry.
[Am] _
She said [F] she's [E] already sick of [F] me.
Hold up.
[A] I'm just gonna date myself.
_ _ [F] I don't like [E] anyone else.
[A] _
_ _ _ [F] I'm gonna [E] date myself.
[Am] _
_ _ [F] I don't like [E] anyone else.
[Am] _
_ [A] _ _ [F] I'm gonna [G#m] date myself.
I'm [Am] getting sick and tired of the worst dates.
I'm [F] doing my best but they [G#] just go south.
I never [Am] should have tried in the first place.
I should [F] have just stayed back [E] at my [Am] house.
Now a couple of months have gone by.
[F] I can't believe [E] we're still dating.
[Am] Cause now I can't stand the guy.
[F] I think I'm starting [E] to hate him.
He's not that [F] impressive.
He's way below average.
He lives [Em] with his grandma.
[A] His bank's overdrafted.
His band really [F] sucked.
He'll never make it.
He's not [E] that attractive, especially when [A] naked.
I'm breaking up with [F] him.
I'm kicking him out.
The [E] issue with that [A] is he lives in my house.
The more that I'm with [F] him, the more that I see,
the [E] problem ain't him.
[Am] The problem is me.
He said [F] I'm not [B] really into me.
[Am] No.
He said [F] we ain't got [Bm] no chemistry.
[Am] No.
He said [F] I'm already [A] sick of me.
[F] Go away.
Hold up.
[Dm] I'm just gonna [A] date myself.
_ _ [F] I want [E] someone [A] else.
Someone else.
_ [F] I don't [E] wanna date myself.
Date [Am] myself.
_ _ [F] I want [E] someone else.
[Am] Anyone but me.
_ [F] I don't wanna date myself.
No!
[F#m]
And so it turns out he was cheating on me the whole time. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ Bam!
Uno reverse [D] card.
I lost some