National Shite Day Chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

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_ _ [F] _ _ [D] _ Pulling the ice [A] axe from my leg, I [F] staggered on, [D] spin-drift, stinging my [A] remaining eye.
[C] _ _ [F] _ [D] I finally managed to reach the [C] station, only to find [F] that the bus replacement [D] service had
[A] broken down.
[C] _ _ _ [F] [D] After wondering to myself [A] whether or not it should actually [C] be called a train
[F] replacement [D] service, I walked out [A] onto the concourse [C] and noticed the giant [F] screen seemed
to have [D] been tampered with, [A] probably [C] by a junior [F] employee.
_ Disgruntled [A] commuters were
being [C] regaled with some dismal [F] TVM involving a tug [A]-of-war custody [C] battle.
_ [F] Snog-hard [D] channing held [A] sway.
_ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] _ _
[Am] _ _ _ _ _ _ [D] Down in the [Am] high street somebody careered out of boots
without due care [D] or attention.
[Am] I suggest that [C] they learn some [F] pedestrian etiquette, [D] i.e.
[Am] side lads of the store [C] gingerly [F] and raise the margin.
[D] _ _
[A] _ _ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] Black [A] cakes and sausage [C] rolls, [F] poor sons conducting [D] polls.
[A] _ _ [C] _ _ [Am] _ [D] There's a man with [A] a mullet going mad with a marathon millet.
[F] _ _ [D] _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ [Am] _ _ [D] I tried to put everything [Am] into perspective, set it against the [D] scale of human suffering,
[Am] and I thought of the Macgarvey government and the children [A] of the Calcutta railways.
_ _ [F] This worked for a [D] while, but then I encountered [A] Primark at [C] length.
_ _ [D] Overhead a rainbow [A] appears, _ [F] _ [E] in black and white. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [A] _
_ [B] _ Shirted!
[E] I guess this must be [A] national.
_ [B] Shirted!
_ [E] This surely must be national.
[A] _ _ [B] Shirted!
[E] Don't tell me, it's [A] national.
_ [B] _ [D] Shirted!
_ [A] _ _
_ [Am] _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _
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[C] _ _ [Am] _ _ [D] _ _ [Am] _ _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] I'm [Am] looking for Barry.
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[C] _ _ _ _ [D] _ _ [Am] _ _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] _ _ [A] _ _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] _ _ [A] _ _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] _ _ [A] _ _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] Barry.
[A] _ _
[C] Barry.
[F] I [D] _ _ [Am] _ _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [G] [D] got a letter from [Am] Stringy Bob, [F] still on suicide [D] watch.
Screws not [A] happy, spotted a [C] Martian artillery joint [D] association.
We're proudly [A]
ignored.
What [F] news you?
_ [G] _ [D] _ [A] I felt sorry for [F] him.
He'd only been locked [D] up for public nuisance [Am] offences,
one of which saw [F] him beachcombing the [D] diestuary.
[A] Found a dead waving bear, [F] took it home, [D] parceled it up,
and sent it up [A] to the rubber-faced irritant, [F] Milt Kuhl.
[Em] With a [D] note inside which [Am] read,
Is this your [F] Santa link?
_ [G] _ [D] _ _ [Am] _
_ _ [F] _ _ [D] Another time [A] saw him answering an advert in the [F] music press.
_ [D] Keyboard player [C] required, doors, [F] Floyd, etc.
[Em] [D] Must be committed, [Am]
no time wasters.
[F] _ _ [D] _ You can [Am] guess the rest.
_ [F] _ _ [D] _ I [Am] always imagined he would simply [F] wander off some day [D] into the hills,
but he found, [Am] months later, his [F] car just stripped by [D] homeless dogs.
[Am] His exposed [C] skull [F] perched with a quartering [D] crow.
I [A] _ _
_ _ [F] _ _ [D] folded away the letter [Am] and put it in my inside [F] pocket.
_ [G] _ _ [A] All [C] of a sudden I felt [F] rushed by the wings [D] of something sharp. _
[C] _ _ [F] _ [D] May the Lord [A] have mercy on [C] Stringy Bob.
[F] _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
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_ _ _ [A] _ _ _ [B] SHITER!
[E] I do believe [A] it's national!
_ [B] SHITER!
[E] _ It all points to [A] national!
_ [B] SHITER!
[E] _ Someone's declaring [A] national!
_ [E] SHITER!
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[A] _ _ [B] _ [E] SHITER!
Birthday!
And [A] national!
_ [B] SHITER!
[E] No, fuck world!
It's [A] national!
_ [B] SHITER!
[E] Team Drumroll!
It's [A] national!
_ [B] _ [D] SHITER!
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