Descent Of The Stiperstones Chords by Half Man Half Biscuit

_ _ [Em] _ _ [G] _ _ _ _
[C] _ _ [Em] _ _ _ _ _ _
[C] _ [Em] I was, _ _ _ _ yes I was, _ _ _ _
[C] _ [G] descending the sky-push _ _ [C] stones, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ when I _ _ _ [C]
recalled the [G] order from _ home
[C] to pick up a, to pick [G] up a, to pick up a, to pick up a, to [C] pick up a jar of [G] suafiga.
_ _ _ [C] _ _
[Em] _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ [C] _ _
_ [G] And so returning to the car at Snail [C] Beach, I set off in [Em] the direction of Montgomery,
[G] where I was more than certain my need [C] would be met by Bonner, the [Em] chandler, who sold [G] everything.
_ _ _ [C] _ _
[Em] _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ [C] Entering the store, [G] I nodded to an assistant, and hurried to the back [C] area of the shop,
where I could [G] browse in comfort amongst the organised chaos, [C] and marvel at the fact that,
should it [G] be my desire, I could return home with a fence [C]-sayer fore-iron, [Em] a brushed [G] doormat
bearing the slogan, Covill's [C] Forerun, and an oil painting [G] by Mercy Rymal entitled,
The Raging [C] Osler.
[G] In addition to the suafiga, which I finally located [C] on a shelf,
next to a box [G] of hussars, who, in spite of their dusty neglect, [C] appeared primed and ready [G] for old phony.
_ _ _ [C] _ _
_ [G] _ _ _ _ _ Also in [Em] this room, was a [G] selection of doll's houses, and standing [C] next to a particular
detailed [G] property called the Franklin, was the actress Lynette [C] McMorrow, who used to play Glenda in [G] Crossroads.
As I'd [C] been a bit of a fan of the programme, [G] I couldn't help but engage her in conversation,
[C] initially regarding [B] the magnificent [G] craftsmanship on show, before rather awkwardly [C] turning the chat
onto [Em] Kevin's affair, [G] Test-Tube Babies, and the tragic death of her dad, [Em] who was knocked down by [G] a car
whilst stumbling home from the [C] triumphant Polestar.
[B] _ _ [G] _ _ _ The [C] crazy world of Arthur [G] Brownlow.
_ _ _ [C] Anyway, [Em] my fawning gibberish [G] and jar of suafiga didn't seem to phase her in any way, and she [B] told me of her
loneliness [G] and yearning for those heady days of ATV, [C] and in essence, what she was trying to [G] do was recreate
their Glenda life through a plastic doll.
[C] And as such was the start of [G] Punneth, she had managed
over the years to acquire figures [C] resembling not only that of herself, [G] but the rest of the family,
and by purchasing the [C] Franklin, there would be enough space for [G] everyone, and they wouldn't all be
cooped up in the [C] same room watching the one television set.
[G] _ _ _ _ [C] All you [Em] need now is the car that [G] knocked down Pop, I joked.
[A] To my astonishment, she told me she [Em] had it
on order, along with [G] his bag of woods.
_ _ Somewhat [B] disturbed, I tried to [G] bring the meeting to a conclusion,
but she was warming to the [C] situation, and revealed to me [G] her ultimate intention was to replace her own
doll's [C] plastic with tapu, but the [G] malleability of such a substance presented the opportunity
to belly [C] herself up, as it were, [Em] when she became pregnant.
_ [Ab] _ In my haste to leave [Bb] the store, [Ab] I cracked
into a Davenport, a drip-free teapot, and a mannequin dressed up as Warden [C] Hodges.
_ _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [Em] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ Yes I was! _ _
_ _ Yes I [G] was! _ _
Descending the Stuyvesant! _ _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [Em] Descending [G] the Stuyvesant!
_ _ _ _ [Em] _ _ _ _
A [C] sparrow quartering cat, a [G] packet of terrific seeds, an ice ring for [C] a model village,
[G] crucifixion nails, a parapolin at Jean, [C] a jar of language [Em] pill, a jigsaw of Nazi war criminals,
hooked [C] up on electric Allen [G] keys, a written curse of the witch from Oslo Street,
[C] a signed photograph of former [G] friends aged in Derrick Hall. _
[C] Monster!
Monster!
[Em] _ _ _ _
Descending the Stuyvesant!
I fled towards the church, looking [G] for sanctuary,
found only Spencer the Halfwit [Em] sniggering the 46th Psalm. _ _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ _ Descending [C] the [Em] Stuyvesant!
_ [G] _ _ _ _
[C] _ _ [G] Descending the Stuyvesant! _
[C] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ Descending [C] the Stuyvesant! _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _