Chords for H is for... Half Man Half Biscuit

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ There could be nobody else to choose other than Half Man Half Biscuit.
_ _ John has a lot, a lot, a lot of their music.
There's lots and lots of stars next to lots and lots of tracks,
_ and I still go to their gigs, and _ we_
It's just too obvious.
_ _ _ What did God give us, Neil?
God gave us life, Nigel.
Sure did. _
A-one, two, three, four_
No _ _ _ [G] chance of getting a job in those days.
It was Thatcher's Britain.
We were [C] happy enough just doing this sort of thing.
[G] It was just me [C] and a chap called Neil, Neil [G] Crossley, who's still in the band now.
_ _ God gave us life _
_ [C] _ God gave [G] us life
We had this demo tape at a cheap rate, priced about 30 quid, I think it cost.
[G] We thought, I'd be a laugh to just [Em] take it round, and we took it to Factory Records.
I [F#] could be a big fan of all that [C] kind of stuff.
_ [D] _ [G] They were OK with it, but we knew we [C] wouldn't_
Obviously, nothing would come of that.
[G] Eventually, we took it into Geoff, a pro, not really thinking anything of it.
_ As soon as I heard it, I [C] loved it.
_ _ [G] The first track was [C] God Gave Us Life, which goes on God Gave Us Life.
One of the things was to _ _ [G] show that man in big coats
[C] could take us to the woods [G] to stroke non-existent puppies.
_ God gave us life
So [D] that we could [G] take sweet _ [C] offsprings then
_ Didn't pick up and get driven
To [G] the woods [A] to stroke _ [C] non _ [G]-existent puppies
_ I [C#] was with my then-wife, _ Ali, the dad-of-home from the Bob show.
I said to her, did I hear right there?
_ She said, I think so.
And he also gave us Eartha Kitt _
And he also gave us Lionel [C#] Blair
_ [G]
First thing I said was, _ _ it's just great.
But the [C] recording quality is [G] _ pretty poor, really.
I [D] might have said something stronger than [G] that.
_ So I said, you'll have to re-record it.
And this bugger said, no, can't [C] be bothered.
[G] More or less those words. _ _
[C] I said, well, you [G] know, it's crap and all that. _
[C] _ _ [G] He said, no, no, it's that's it, and it finished with that now.
[A] It's the sort of typical attitude you have about things, really. _ _
Did [G] you send that to John Peel, and you did, didn't you?
[A] Yeah, well, I sent it to John Peel.
In those [G] days, of course, it was [D] viral, so you [A] got a test press.
_ So [G] I got a phone call, more or less the [A] next day.
It was Jeff, he [G] says, what's this?
I've just played the first [Am] side of this.
What [G] is it?
It's [A] just fantastic and [E] all that.
I said, well, the call's half of my [A] business.
And he said, [B] have they got any new [E] material?
So I didn't hesitate.
The impression I got was that they hadn't really.
So I just said yes.
I just took off like a man.
[B] Well, one of the consolations in my life is that however long I may live,
half man, half biscuit will be there [F#] as well. _
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[E] _ [B] _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _
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[C] _ _ [Gm] I think it was the start, perhaps, of us [D] being maybe not viewed solely
as a novelty, [Cm] wacky act from Liverpool.
Certain [G] people who would have otherwise perhaps dismissed us.
Not the Grumbleweeds. _ _ _
[Gm] Not that there's anything wrong with the Grumbleweeds, of course,
but there's a bit more to us.
And I think John realised that, perhaps, from the start.
Yeah.
[Gm] _ [E] And now he's working in a job [C#m] with a future
[B] He hands me my [E] gyro every two [B] weeks
I feel sorry for younger bands now, in a way.
_ [A] _
I think it must be quite [E] difficult to get_
_ It's an understatement.
It's quite difficult.
Yeah, well, yeah.
It's virgin on the impossible.
Whereas at least when we were young, you could have that possibility.
Even as we were saying before, having such an amateur _ sounding, I suppose,
could have been worse, couldn't it?
But an amateur sounding looking, appearing outfit like ourselves
being played on national radio,
_ it was both [A] fascinating and thrilling at the same time.
_ [B] And possible.
_ [E] We were kind of, not pleasantly surprised,
more pleasantly shocked to hear ourselves on the radio.
It was getting our head round that.
_ It got us to think, do we now think about what we're doing
and do we start doing different types of songs?
But because of the [A] things John [G#m] would say after each song he played,
we thought, no, because he's enjoying that, what we're doing at the moment,
so why [F#] change it?
Let's just carry on doing the same thing.
_ Nigel, [E] give us the title of the LP again first before we go any further.
[Em] The LP we call Voids To The Bottom [D#] Of The Road.
That's right.
[E] And it's released when? _
_ Sometime November.
[G] Exciting plans to [E] promote the record?
No.
Right. _ _
I knew the answer to that before I even asked it.
I think it's written, worded, criminally underrated
and his way with words, _ just to listen to his show,
the things he's talking about and the things he's saying between songs,
you know, _ fantastic, very humorous.
So much so, actually, I stole one of his lines from one of my songs.
_ It was a magical place, I half expected a nymph to appear,
_ shyly from out of the break. _
[D#] He was reviewing a programme about, an advice programme or something,
I don't know what even advice was on,
and then he just [A] wrote the line,
almost inevitably Claire Rainer appears.
_ And I thought, I'll have that.
_ That's where that comes from.
Yeah, yeah, so I stole that.
_ _ [E] _ But [Bm] then almost [F#] inevitably Claire [E] Rainer appears. _
_ [C#m] _ [C#] Even now, [A] writing stuff, playing stuff, you think to yourself,
_ _ _ [D] would this [C#] still have been [A] acceptable on John's show?
And as long as we think it is, or it would have been, we'll go with it. _ _
[E] _ _ [F] _ I've [E] said it before, a national treasure, there's no question about it.
When I [F] die, I want them to be buried with me.
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