Chords for 29/31 by Garfunkel and Oates

In this song we're playing the same woman two years apart.
I'm 29 and I'm 31.
This song is called _ 2931.
_ For the first time in my life I see it clearly
I realize the power of being a woman
29 years old and times on [G] my side
I'm in my [A] prime, I've hit my [Bm] stride
I've got so much charisma and so many [A] options
It's nice to always have my pick
Does [G] nobody li _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [G#] _ [D]-
I'm at the top of my game, possibilities are endless
And I just feel really pretty
I'm holding out for someone who [G] meets my standards
Won't settle for [A] anything less than perfect
[Bm] I know what I want and I can [A] have it
I'm surrounded by love and peace
[G] There's nobody lo _ _ _ _ _ -
[A] Why the fuck did I wait?
What's wrong with me?
In [E] two short years I'm gonna be 33
Who the hell will want me then?
My ovaries are shrinking, I'm disgusting
And everyone feels bad for me
And I never get invited to dinner parties anymore
_ _ [Bm] _ _ [G] Things unfold when they're supposed to
Cause [Em] everything happens for a reason
[D] It'll happen for me when [G] I'm not even looking
He'll just [A] appear and I'll just [Bm] know
And he'll love me forever without any [A] work
Who needs to try when things are meant to [F#] be?
There's nobody lo [G]- _ _
_ _ _ You're such a fucking idiot!
You think you're so special cause people tell [Am] you that now?
You've gotta stop and be replaced [B] with bugs of pity!
Life complete, [Am] the world is a buffet of love
[N] Love
Oh what?
You think biological reality doesn't apply to you
And your adorable cocoon of agelessness?
Well it does!
And while you're just waiting around and focusing on you
Guess what?
You're gonna lose your fucking _ _ _ _ [D]-
Everything [G] happens for a reason
[D] You know [G] I truly believe [E] that
Yeah you said that before
Oh my god it does though
Everything happens for a reason
What about the Haitian [N] earthquake or cellulite on skinny women?
[D] Just say hey universe I'm ready
It'll happen when you [G] least expect it
Well I don't [C#] expect it at all now so I guess it's right around the corner
[F#] Maybe you're putting out the wrong vibe
Maybe you're closed off [A] to love
Let me tell you a secret
It's called the secret
Here's another secret
[N] You're an asshole
[G#] Your negativity [G#] is a self-fulfilling [A] prophecy
The reason things go well for me is cause of positivity
Well unpositive fertility always begins to atrophy
When infantile fantasy eclipses true reality
It never once occurred to me that things won't work out perfectly
When God [F#] closes a door you see
He opens a [B] window
You realize that's a smaller opening right?
You used to be able to walk out the front door
Now you have to climb out some slightly ajar window
Somewhere [F#] possibly falling like five stories to your death
That is not an upgrade
[E] And you know what else?
There's nobody left! _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [A] _ _
[D] You're such an arrogant cunt!
You're so stupid!
You can't love someone else you love
Cause _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [Bm] _
_ _ _ [A] life is [D]