Real Life Chords by Victoria Wood
Tempo:
99.75 bpm
Chords used:
Eb
F
Ab
Cm
Bbm
Tuning:Standard Tuning (EADGBE)Capo:+0fret
Start Jamming...
[Eb] I knew a man who always worried
That if knocked down by [Cm] a nineteen
[Eb] [D]
The [G] nurses who'd a hell of a [Cm] hurry
Might [F] find his boxer [Bb] shorts unclean
[Eb] And so he washed them all twice daily
And when an accident [C] occurred
[F] The doctor said sadly I know what he has
The [Ab] poor man is dead, he's allergic to Daz
Cos this is [Ab] real life
Which is always such a mess
Badly designed, [Bbm] under rehearsed
No proper [Eb] tunes
We live in [Ab] real life
Which is not a nice address
Needs doing up, [Bbm] needs some white paint
Needs [F] a few [Cm] bloons
[F] Life is a fan club and I'm not a fan
Life [Ab] is a brand tub, no prizes, [Eb] jeez
Take one [Cm] redundant bus inspector
[Eb]
Who joined the long term on amput
[D]
Applied [G] to funeral [Cm] director
Was [F] taken on, was [Bb] overjoyed
[Eb] He felt his death [Cm] is always with [Eb] us
This job at least would be secure
[C]
[F] He shouldered the coffin, the sun on his back
[Ab] The boss saw him smiling and gave him the sack
Cos [Cm] this is [Ab] real life
We're not allowed to swap
Hoping [Eb] to [Bbm] find one with more plot
[Eb] One with more sex
We visit [Ab] real life
And we blunder round the shop
Squinting [Bb] at lists
Losing our [Bbm] purse, [F] dropping our [Cm] specs
[F] Life is a handshake that's clammy handling
[Bb]
A scene [Ab] from a script that's been typed by a chip
[Eb]
A sweet old couple had a party
Cos they'd been married sixty years
[D] Sat [G] hand in hand and [Cm] hailing hearty
[F] The local press were [Bb] all in tears
The woman from [Eb] the news said
Ivy, what's helped your marriage last so [C] well?
[F] She looked at her husband and said with a wink
[Ab] Regular sex with the coalman, oh you think
Cos this is real life
Which is always going to be like a [Eb] toupee
Hurting [Bbm] your head, showing the join
Because [Ab] in real life
There will always be a knee coming your way
[Bbm] Aiming itself straight [F] for your groin
[Cm] [F] It's a windowless room in the hotel Bellevue
[Ab] It's an ass-kicking party
Thrown specially for me [Eb] and you
That if knocked down by [Cm] a nineteen
[Eb] [D]
The [G] nurses who'd a hell of a [Cm] hurry
Might [F] find his boxer [Bb] shorts unclean
[Eb] And so he washed them all twice daily
And when an accident [C] occurred
[F] The doctor said sadly I know what he has
The [Ab] poor man is dead, he's allergic to Daz
Cos this is [Ab] real life
Which is always such a mess
Badly designed, [Bbm] under rehearsed
No proper [Eb] tunes
We live in [Ab] real life
Which is not a nice address
Needs doing up, [Bbm] needs some white paint
Needs [F] a few [Cm] bloons
[F] Life is a fan club and I'm not a fan
Life [Ab] is a brand tub, no prizes, [Eb] jeez
Take one [Cm] redundant bus inspector
[Eb]
Who joined the long term on amput
[D]
Applied [G] to funeral [Cm] director
Was [F] taken on, was [Bb] overjoyed
[Eb] He felt his death [Cm] is always with [Eb] us
This job at least would be secure
[C]
[F] He shouldered the coffin, the sun on his back
[Ab] The boss saw him smiling and gave him the sack
Cos [Cm] this is [Ab] real life
We're not allowed to swap
Hoping [Eb] to [Bbm] find one with more plot
[Eb] One with more sex
We visit [Ab] real life
And we blunder round the shop
Squinting [Bb] at lists
Losing our [Bbm] purse, [F] dropping our [Cm] specs
[F] Life is a handshake that's clammy handling
[Bb]
A scene [Ab] from a script that's been typed by a chip
[Eb]
A sweet old couple had a party
Cos they'd been married sixty years
[D] Sat [G] hand in hand and [Cm] hailing hearty
[F] The local press were [Bb] all in tears
The woman from [Eb] the news said
Ivy, what's helped your marriage last so [C] well?
[F] She looked at her husband and said with a wink
[Ab] Regular sex with the coalman, oh you think
Cos this is real life
Which is always going to be like a [Eb] toupee
Hurting [Bbm] your head, showing the join
Because [Ab] in real life
There will always be a knee coming your way
[Bbm] Aiming itself straight [F] for your groin
[Cm] [F] It's a windowless room in the hotel Bellevue
[Ab] It's an ass-kicking party
Thrown specially for me [Eb] and you
Key:
Eb
F
Ab
Cm
Bbm
Eb
F
Ab
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [Eb] _ _ I knew a man who always worried
_ That if knocked down by [Cm] a nineteen
[Eb] _ [D]
The [G] nurses who'd a hell of a [Cm] hurry
_ Might [F] find his boxer [Bb] shorts unclean
_ [Eb] And so he washed them all twice daily
_ And when an accident [C] occurred
[F] The doctor said sadly I know what he has
The [Ab] poor man is dead, he's allergic to Daz
Cos this is [Ab] real life
Which is always such a mess
Badly designed, [Bbm] under rehearsed
No proper [Eb] tunes
We live in [Ab] real life
Which is not a nice address
Needs doing up, [Bbm] needs some white paint
Needs [F] a few [Cm] bloons
_ [F] Life is a fan club and I'm not a fan
Life [Ab] is a brand tub, no prizes, [Eb] jeez _ _ _ _
_ _ Take one [Cm] redundant bus inspector
[Eb] _
Who joined the long term on amput
_ _ [D]
Applied [G] to funeral [Cm] director
_ Was [F] taken on, was [Bb] overjoyed
_ [Eb] He felt his death [Cm] is always with [Eb] us
This job at least would be secure
[C] _
[F] He shouldered the coffin, the sun on his back
[Ab] The boss saw him smiling and gave him the sack
Cos [Cm] this is [Ab] real life
We're not allowed to swap
Hoping [Eb] to [Bbm] find one with more plot
[Eb] One with more sex
We visit [Ab] real life
And we blunder round the shop
Squinting [Bb] at lists
Losing our [Bbm] purse, [F] dropping our [Cm] specs
[F] Life is a handshake that's clammy handling
[Bb]
A scene [Ab] from a script that's been typed by a chip
[Eb] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ A sweet old couple had a party
_ Cos they'd been married sixty years
[D] Sat [G] hand in hand and [Cm] hailing hearty _
[F] The local press were [Bb] all in tears
The woman from [Eb] the news said
Ivy, _ what's helped your marriage last so [C] well?
[F] She looked at her husband and said with a wink
[Ab] Regular sex with the coalman, oh you think
Cos this is real life
Which is always going to be like a [Eb] toupee
Hurting [Bbm] your head, showing the join
Because [Ab] in real life
There will always be a knee coming your way
[Bbm] Aiming itself straight [F] for your groin
[Cm] _ [F] It's a windowless room in the hotel Bellevue
[Ab] It's an ass-kicking party
Thrown specially for me [Eb] and you _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [Eb] _ _ I knew a man who always worried
_ That if knocked down by [Cm] a nineteen
[Eb] _ [D]
The [G] nurses who'd a hell of a [Cm] hurry
_ Might [F] find his boxer [Bb] shorts unclean
_ [Eb] And so he washed them all twice daily
_ And when an accident [C] occurred
[F] The doctor said sadly I know what he has
The [Ab] poor man is dead, he's allergic to Daz
Cos this is [Ab] real life
Which is always such a mess
Badly designed, [Bbm] under rehearsed
No proper [Eb] tunes
We live in [Ab] real life
Which is not a nice address
Needs doing up, [Bbm] needs some white paint
Needs [F] a few [Cm] bloons
_ [F] Life is a fan club and I'm not a fan
Life [Ab] is a brand tub, no prizes, [Eb] jeez _ _ _ _
_ _ Take one [Cm] redundant bus inspector
[Eb] _
Who joined the long term on amput
_ _ [D]
Applied [G] to funeral [Cm] director
_ Was [F] taken on, was [Bb] overjoyed
_ [Eb] He felt his death [Cm] is always with [Eb] us
This job at least would be secure
[C] _
[F] He shouldered the coffin, the sun on his back
[Ab] The boss saw him smiling and gave him the sack
Cos [Cm] this is [Ab] real life
We're not allowed to swap
Hoping [Eb] to [Bbm] find one with more plot
[Eb] One with more sex
We visit [Ab] real life
And we blunder round the shop
Squinting [Bb] at lists
Losing our [Bbm] purse, [F] dropping our [Cm] specs
[F] Life is a handshake that's clammy handling
[Bb]
A scene [Ab] from a script that's been typed by a chip
[Eb] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ A sweet old couple had a party
_ Cos they'd been married sixty years
[D] Sat [G] hand in hand and [Cm] hailing hearty _
[F] The local press were [Bb] all in tears
The woman from [Eb] the news said
Ivy, _ what's helped your marriage last so [C] well?
[F] She looked at her husband and said with a wink
[Ab] Regular sex with the coalman, oh you think
Cos this is real life
Which is always going to be like a [Eb] toupee
Hurting [Bbm] your head, showing the join
Because [Ab] in real life
There will always be a knee coming your way
[Bbm] Aiming itself straight [F] for your groin
[Cm] _ [F] It's a windowless room in the hotel Bellevue
[Ab] It's an ass-kicking party
Thrown specially for me [Eb] and you _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Facts about this song