Chords for You Can't Call Me Kev Anymore

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Got off the Red Eye Special from London, [F] I'd been over there four or five weeks,
_ [G] Playin' gigs all over the place from Inverness to [C] Southend-on-Sea,
And me mates at the gate were waitin'
[F] G'day Kev!
They all shouted in chorus, [G] I said hang on you blokes, now look this is
not a joke, but you [C] can't call me Kev anymore,
And [Am] they said what?
_ [F] Fuckin' what?
Gotta [Cm] call me Muhammad _ [F] Akhmalikmas,
Changed my name a bit since the seniors [G] last,
But I ain't changed, I just changed me [Cm] name,
To Muhammad _ Akhmalikmas! _ _ _ _ _ _
[C] At first they thought I was jokin',
But [F] they know I don't tell them porky pies,
I said [G] you'll be trippin' on your tongue for a couple of months,
But you'll get used to sayin' it [C] after a while,
Then the cans in their hands started shakin',
As [F] they slipped from their grip beneath the floor,
[G] I said I'm diggin' bout this, I'm not takin' the piss,
You just can't call me Kev anymore,
And [Am] they said what?
_ [F] Fuckin' what?
Gotta [Cm] call me Muhammad Akhmalikmas,
[F] Changed my name a bit since the seniors [G] last,
But I ain't changed, I just changed me [Cm] name,
To Muhammad _ _ Akhmalikmas! _ _ _ _
You [C] see I run into this Arab bloke in London,
[F] He was drivin' a cab at the time,
Bit [G] of a fender bender in the car park,
And look, no one was hurtin', we were [C] both fine,
Yep, just a bit of a scratch, and that was that,
[F] And really no one was to blame,
[G] So instead of gettin' the coppers involved,
We agreed [C] to exchange names,
[Am] What?
_ [F] Fuckin' what?
Swapped [Cm] my informant,
To Muhammad _ [F] Akhmalikmas,
Changed my name a bit since the seniors [G] last,
But I ain't changed, I just changed me [Cm] name,
To Muhammad _ _ Akhmalikmas! _ _ _ _
So if you see an Arab cabbie in London,
With [F] a funny little thingy on his head,
And [G] he's playin' camel music in his minicab,
That'd be him, that'd [C] be Kev,
So give him a tip if you think of it,
When [F] he drops ya off where ya gotta go,
[G] Then give him a decent old slap on the back,
And say Muhammad says hello,
Then [Am] he says,
What?
_ [F] Fuckin' what?
[G] My new [Cm] friend,
Muhammad Akhmalikmas,
[F] He calls me Kev, funny [G] bastard,
Hope he's likin' his new [Cm] name,
Muhammad _ Akhmalikmas! _ _ _ _ _ Muhammad _ _ Akhmalikmas! _ _ _
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