Chords for Why is Stairway to Heaven BANNED in Guitar Stores?

Why is Stairway to Heaven _ [Eb] banned in [E] guitar stores?
To answer that question, you must understand [C] the many facets of the lore [D] of Stairway to Heaven.
In pop [Am] culture, the most recent and potent reference originates from [N] Wayne's World. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ No Stairway!
_ Denied!
[Am] With that joke being [D]
perpetuated still [Am] to this day by many others, including, _ [E]
well, [C] me.
_ [Dm] _ _ [G] _ _
[D] [C] And [D] then there's the copyright dispute, [Am] filed by some no-name band called Spirit back in [G] _
[Am] 2016,
claiming that the intro [C] to Stairway to Heaven was ripped [D] off.
Currently, an appeal is set to be [Dm] heard by an 11-person [Am] jury this September [G] [C] 2019.
And let's not forget another [G] ridiculous controversy.
After the [D] song's release in the early 1970s, where extremely [C] intelligent and definitely not [D] brainwashed religious sheep
claimed you [F] could hear messages from [Am] Satan when you [Bm] played [C] the song backwards.
[F] _ _ [G] _ _ [C] _
_ _ _ [Am] _ _ _ _ _
_ [G] _ _ _ _ [C] _ _ _
[Am] Each of these things, combined [Ab] with the fact that Led Zeppelin [C] was literally the most famous band of all [D] time for a decade,
and Jimmy [F] Page is probably [Am] the most famous guitar player,
are what testify [G] [Am] to the prohibition of those magical notes of Stairway to Heaven
[Ab] echoing throughout the halls of [C] guitar stores the world over.
[D] But what about the music? _
[F] I mean, [Am] if this song sucked, then all of the facts that [G] I [Am] previously stated
wouldn't be facts at all because they wouldn't have [C] happened.
Nobody would have spent time [D] listening or giving this song a [F] time of day.
_ [Dm] [Am] I think we can all agree [G] that [C] this is the greatest song in the [G] world.
If nothing else, [B] Tenacious D agrees [Gb] with me, _ [D] _ _ [Am] and_
_his
opinion matters more than [G] most.
_ [D] _ _ _
[F] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _ _ [G] _
_ [D] _ _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [Dbm] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [Gb] But _ _ [Am] let's examine just what it is about this song [E] that makes [C] it so great.
Why do we all love to [D] play this song so much [Am] that it would be banned by guitar shop owners [G] near [Am] and far?
The lyrics are pushing and pulling in opposite directions.
One piece is [Ab] going this way, the other piece is [C] going this way.
Much like the [D] opening harmony.
This [Am] opening guitar riff is also, coincidentally, the most illegal [G] aspect [Am] of the tune to play in a guitar store.
_ [C] It's just so good, it's [D] addicting, we can't [Am] get enough. _ _ _
[E] No, dude.
Nope.
Not in my store.
Sorry.
_ _ _ _ So we kick things off with an A minor triad, stacked on top of another A minor [Am] triad. _ _ _ _
_ _ By the way, if you don't know what triads are, check out Guitar Super System.
It's linked right down below.
It's my learning [Ebm] platform for guitar players who want to learn basic to intermediate to advanced music theory,
or just tips, tricks, and licks, or song types, or improvisation, songwriting, anything you want.
[Abm] It's all contained in Guitar Super System, so check it out if you want.
So with these [Am] triads, _ _ _ _ _ we can just treat this as one big A minor triad.
_ _ _ _ _ [Ab] Now we're going to get a little bit more interesting here with this chord shape. _
[E] _ _ _ _ This is looked at by some as an E major triad.
However, I think the proper harmonic analysis, _ technically correct version of this chord, is a G sharp augmented add sharp [Ab] 9.
_ _ [E] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ So with [G] that [B] said, we have this G sharp [E] augmented.
We'll just call it that.
_ And then [Ab] we're moving on [G] here.
C major triad.
[C] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ Moving down, [Gbm] a D major triad.
_ [D] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ Moving down again, [Ab] we have an F major 7.
[F] So this is not a triad. _ _ _ _ _
_ It becomes that 7th chord with this _ major 7th added in to the shape. _
And [G] then of course the turnaround.
[Am] _ _
_ _ G to A minor.
[G] _ [Am] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [E] _ _ [C] _ _ _ _
_ _ [Gb] _ [D] _ _ _ _ [F] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _
[Am] _ _ _ _ _ _ [E] _
That is why Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven is banned in guitar stores, because it just sounds so pleasing.
Obviously the mythical delivery of Jimmy Page in the original is great, but it just sounds good [Am] any way you play it.
_ _ [E] _ _
_ [C] _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _
[Am] _ _ _ _ _ [C] _ _ _
_ [D] _ _ _ [C] _ _ _ _
[Am] _ _ [Em] _ [C] _ _ _ [D] _ _
_ _ [F] _ _ [G] _ [Am] _ _ [B] _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
So obviously not playing the song how it was written is part of the fun of covering songs.
I obviously didn't go too far off the beaten path with that sort of style, but it just is a testament to the harmony.
Again, I think that is really _ the differentiator between this song and every other song ever written.
The harmony just, for whatever reason, resonates on this very deep human level with anyone who hears it, I think.
No matter what [Am] your preference is when it comes to music, I think anyone who hears _ _ _ [E] _ _
[C] _ _ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _
_ _ [F] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [G] _ _ [Am] _ _ _ _
will just be like,
Damn, that's a fine piece of music right there.
That [N] is why we must not play Stairway to Heaven in guitar stores.
_ Because it's too awesome.
_ That makes sense, right? _ _
_ _ _ Doesn't it? _ _ _
Wait, _ _ _ it doesn't make [A] sense.
[B] _ [C] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [C] _
_ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _