Chords for Loudon Wainwright - Dump the Dog and Feed the Garbage

_ _ [G] This is called dump the dog and feed the garbage in _ America.
We don't call it rubbish.
We call it garbage, but it's the same thing _
_ [C] [G] It's _ _ [C] _ _ [G] _
_ kind of a happy little bouncy [C] song
[G] _ _ _
[C] _ _ [D] _ [G] _ _ _ Dump the dog and feed the [C] garbage
mow the floor [G] and sweep the lawn _
_ _ Salt and pepper on my [C] porridge one day.
I'll be [G] dead and gone.
_ _ Oh
My good girl loves me madly [C] and [G] my bad girl is a flirt _ _ _
I'll take the good with the bad gladly [C] and I'll [G] treat them both like dirt
_ _ _ [Em] _ _ _ [C] _ _
[D] [G] When _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [C] [D] a song has la la la's [G] in it
_ Apple _ [C] [G] butter for my breakfast peanut butter for my lunch
_ _ _ bread and butter for my dinner
[C] [G] Margarine for Sunday brunch _ _ _
Baseball's fine and [C] football's rougher [D] basketballers [G] all are tall
But _ I like hockey hockey's [C] tougher.
You [G] must play without a ball
_ _ _ _ Too _
[C] _ [D] _ [G] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ much [C] _ [D] _ [G] _ _ _
_ [C] _ [G] trouble and there's too much [C] bother and I have [G] stood all I could stand
_ _ I'm a son and I'm a father.
[C] [D] I'm just [G] a middleman
_ When I wake up in the morning [C] I [D] hop up [G] right out of bed _
Unless of course I am [C] hungover then I [D] pretend that [G] I'm dead
_ _ _ Dump the dog and feed the [C] garbage mow the [G] floor and sweep the lawn _ _
Salt and pepper on my [C] porridge one [D] day.
I'll be dead _
_ _ _ _ [C] I'll be [G] gone _
_ [C] _ [D] _ [G] _ Thank _ _ you, _ thank you, thank you _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _