Chords for Kinky Friedman - Men`s Room, LA

[N] _ _ [B] _ _ _ [A] _ _ [D] _
_ [B] I'll put it in the house.
_ _ [F#] _
_ [F] _ _Texas.
A Yom [G#] Kippur Clipper [F#] is just a Jewish Cadillac
_ [G#] in that it stops on a dime and it picks [E] it up, basically.
[D#] That's what I'm saying.
[C#] But _ I saw this mission near San [E] Antonio,
[C#] and there in the courtyard,
[D] _
[C] let me ask you this.
How [F#] many of you have been to the Alamo?
[F#m] Anybody here personally?
_ _ [B] _ _ _ _
_ _ [D#] _ _ Well, that's a more important place to be
[F#] than a [F] hell of a bar in L.A.
[A#] _ _ [C] The Alamo is very small and very fragile.
[G] And in a state [C#] like Texas,
[C] where it's the only [F#] place, Texas,
where people [F] wear jewelry in the [F#] shape of the state.
[Gm] _ _
_ [D] _ And bigger is always better. _
[F#] [Cm] So this little [F#] mission
_ [C#] is the most [C] precious piece of real [F#] estate that we [C] have.
[G#] The _ story I'm telling you is about a much bigger [F#] mission.
We have a large statue of Jesus
[G] standing [E] in the courtyard.
_ _ _ [C] _ _
Praying to the [A] statue, I saw this guy.
He [F#] looked like a very well-dressed country guy,
a rancher maybe.
_ And this is what I heard him say.
_ [C] _ Jesus, _ please help me.
The oil wells have all run dry.
_ _ _ The cattle got the blight.
_ [F#] _ My [C] Cadillacs are all in the shop. _
The Internal Revenue Service is after [F#m] me.
This guy [C] had a little red rash.
_ _ [F#] _ So he apparently hears a noise on the other side of the statue,
and he [G] walks around.
[C] _ There's a little bitty [F] Mexican down on his [F#] knees
praying to the same statue.
_ The Mexican is saying,
Jesus, please help me.
He's pregnant.
_ We already have [G#] 12 children.
_ [C]
I've just [A] lost my job.
[G] _ Now it [F#] looks like we're going to [A#] lose the house.
[Em] _ And now I learn [E] that my wife is sick.
[N] _ _ _ [C#] I don't know what I'm going to do.
[F] _ Well, the [Bm] wealthy Texas rancher takes out his [G#] billfold,
_ [Cm] and he takes a $100 bill out of his [C] billfold,
and he hands it across [F] to the little bitty Mexican.
_ _ [C] And he says,
_ [D] _ _ _ Here you go, little [Cm] buddy.
_ _ Don't be [C#] bothering Jesus with that [D#] shit.
_ _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _
_ _ Don't go to my house. _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _
[C] So keep him to a [F#m] religious thing. _
[G] _ _ _ _ [C#] If you don't [F#] love Jesus, go to [C] hell, I would say.
_ [Am] _ _ _
_ [C] This is the song that Ringo Starr
[A] performed the voice of [C#] Jesus on [G] _
[F#] many years ago.
[D] Ringo can't be with us tonight.
[G] _
_ _ _ _ [G#] _ We'll [F#m] improvise.
[G] And this is the song that Charlie and I
Charlie is going to [F#] sing after the break.
[D#] _ _ _ _ _ [G] _
Still, I couldn't do [F#] that.
I couldn't do that. _
_ _ It's okay.
[B] _ _ [C] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ It's called Men's Room, L.A. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ I saw a picture _ yesterday
_ In [G] a men's room [C] near L.A.
[G] _ [F] _ _ _
Lying on the floor [C] beside the throne _ _
_ _ Had I not recognized the cross
[F] I might have [Dm] failed to know the boss
[F] I thought, Lord, you look neglected _ [F#] and [G] alone _ _
_ _ [C] I picked it up with loving care
I [G] wondered who _ had placed it there
And [F] then I saw
[C] There was no _ paper on the roll _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ I said, [F] Lord, _ what would you do
_ [F#] If you were [C] me _ and I were you _
[Am] _ _ _ _ _ [C] Take a chance, _ [G] save your pants
_ [C] Or your soul _ _ _ _ _
And a voice said,
_ _ Kinky.
_ This is Jesus.
_ _ _ [F] _
[C] I ain't [F] swearin'
_ _ _ [C]
Had I got these pictures, _ [G] _ _ _ _
everywhere.
_ _ _ _ From Grotts
On _ out to the [Cm] Frisco [G] Bay, baby
_ So, [C] son, if you're hung up
I'm about to feel free to [F]
you
And [C] my favorite shot
I saw a picture _ _ yesterday
_ In a [G] men's room [C] near L.A. _ _ _
I saw a picture _ _ yesterday
_ In [G] a men's room [C]
near L [F].A.
_ [Am] Hey, _ [C]
hey, hey _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [G] _ _ [F#m] _ [C] _ _