Chords for Kinky Friedman - They Aint Makin Jews Like Jesus Anymore

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[F] Okay folks, thank you.
I gotta tell you something.
[N] _
This has really been probably one of the most stultifyingly dull evenings.
_ It's been a wonderful evening and it takes a genius audience to make a genius performance. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _
Folks, I'd like to leave you with the words of _ country star, Naomi Judd.
Naomi Judd. _ _
_ Used to [Am] tell her children as [D] they were growing [G] up, she said,
_ _ wash your hands and say your prayers, because germs and Jesus are everywhere. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ Naomi Judd.
Naomi _ Judd.
_ _ Well [Dm] a redneck beard and a [Em] bullet [F#m] shot, and a long [G] star beard.
Talking religion [C] and politics [D] for all the world [G] to hear. _
They ought to send you back to Russia, boy, [C] or New York City, woman.
[D] You just want to do a Christian girl and kill [G] God's only son?
_ _ _ I said, _ has it occurred to you, you [C] nerd, that that's not right? _
[D] _ We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed [G] Jesus Christ. _ _ _ _
You know, you don't look Jewish, you said.
[C] _ Near as I can figure, [D] I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed [G] country nigger.
_ _ _ _ _ _ [D]
Jesus said, Lord, let all carnage [C] eat the way they've done [G] before.
He started in the shop, half spit food on [C] the floor.
[G] Lord, I ain't making Jews like Jesus anymore. _ _ _ _
_ _ He said, now I ain't no racist, _ [C] but there's little old naysayers and one Greek we don't need.
_ [D] And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nu, all [G] they ever do is breathe.
_ And waps and mix and slopes and spit, [C] _ stoops around my lips.
[D] _
_ [N] And there's one little heave from the heart attacks _ _ anyone I meet. _ _ _
_ [G] Hits them with everything I had [C] right square between the eyes.
[G] [D] Says, I'm going to get you, you son of a bitch.
It's about that pact [G] of life.
_ If there's one thing I can't abide, it's that I'm no [C] eccentric racist.
_ _ [D] Now you take back that shit you said about _ _ [G] Aristotle O'Neill. _ _ _ _ _ _
[D] _ Jesus said, Lord, let all carnage eat [C] the way [G] they've done before.
You can hear that honking, hollering, and he's in [C] that harvest floor.
Lord, [G] I ain't making Jews [D] like Jesus [G] anymore.
Everybody in Ireland.
Lord, I ain't making Jews [D] like Jesus anymore.
I ain't making [C] carpenters and the one [G]-day-servants.
Well, the whole damn place was singing, and the stroller out [C] the door.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
I've got a [Cm] few appointments.
I [G] _ _ _ _ _
ain't making _ _ [A] Jews like [N] _ _ _ _ [D] Jesus _
_ [B] _ [G#] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [B] [C] anymore.
_ _ _ _ [D]
I'm [G] _ _ _ _ a Jew, that's how.
Thank you, Ireland.
_ _ _ PTA Free Bud. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _
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