Chords for Funny Jokes Song: Dumb Jokes

_ _ _ _ _ [F] Every one of these jokes is better [G] than the next.
_ _ _ [C] _
I [F] was wondering why the baseball was [G] getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
_ [C] _ Two [F] hats were on a hat [G] rack.
One said,
You hang here, I'll go on [C] ahead.
_ [F] Time flies like an arrow.
[G] Fruit flies like a banana.
_ [C] _
A [F] bug splattered into my windshield [G] yesterday.
It'll never have the guts to do that [C] again.
_ [F] What did one snowman say to the other [G] snowman? _
Do you smell carrots?
[C] Two [F] drums and a cymbal fell [G] off a cliff.
_ Ba-doom-tsch!
[C] Dumb jokes.
[F] _ [G] Ooooooh!
_ Bum-bum [C]-bum-bum.
Dumb [F] jokes.
_ [G] Ooooooh! _
Bum-bum-bum [C]-bum.
I broke my pencil [F] this morning.
I [G] tried to use it anyway, but it was pointless.
_ _ [C] _
When's a good [F] time to go to the dentist?
_ _ Two-thirty.
[C] _ What [F] did the zero say to the number eight?
[G] _ _
Hey, nice belt.
[C] _ Why does [F] this coffee taste like [G] mud?
Oh yeah, it's fresh ground.
[C] _
I was digging [F] three deep holes in the backyard.
My mom came home and said,
Well, well, [C] well.
Where [F] do generals keep their armies?
[G] _
In their sleevies.
[C] _ What did the [F] snail say when it rode on the [G] turtle's back?
_ Wheeee!
_ [C] Dumb jokes.
[F] _ _ Ooooooh!
Bum-bum [C]-bum-bum.
Dumb [F] jokes.
_ [G] Ooooooh! _
Bum-bum-bum [C]-bum.
Why is [F] it hard to starve in the [G] desert?
_ Because of the sandwiches there.
[C] _
What's [F] brown and sticky?
[G] _ _ _ A stick!
[C] _ _ [F] Don't ever leave alphabet soup on the [G] stove.
It could spell disaster.
[C] _ What's [F] invisible and smells [G] like carrots?
_ _ Bunny burps!
[C] _
There's [F] three kinds of people in [G] this world.
Those who can count, and those who [C] can't.
_ What does a [F] clock do when it's [G] hungry? _
It goes back four [C] seconds.
_ [F] Knock-knock. _
_ [G] Interrupting cow.
_ Moo!
[C] Dumb jokes.
[F] _ _ [G] _ Ooooooh!
Bum-bum [C]-bum-bum.
Dumb [F] jokes.
_ [G] Ooooooh! _
Bum-bum [C]-bum-bum. Dumb [F] jokes. _
_ [G] _ _ Ooooooh!
Bum-bum-bum-bum. _
_ _ _ [C] _ Dumb _ _
_ _ _ [A] _ _ jokes. _