Chords for Colicchie " The Pursuit of Loneliness "

_ _ [Fm] _ My name's Chaz [G#] Smith, [C#] I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, _ [C#] and this is me. _ _
[Fm] You know, I don't know what the fuck you want from me.
I already give this all I [G#] got, not just this rap shit, [C#] but this life shit.
I can't tell you how many times I fell, and I always came back stronger.
You call them [Fm] failures, I call them lessons.
Look, I love my [G#] problems, God's will, not mine.
I thrived on tough [C#] times, but agony don't let me ever catch my breath.
It never fucking stops.
[Fm] _
All alone, this song inspired me to write.
[G#] I write so I don't go and just get higher than a kite.
[C#] And honestly, I'd rather talk to girls that I don't like,
so when they finally leave me, I'm not fighting [Fm] for my life.
Listen, how I'm feeling doesn't really make a [G#] difference when it's all in what you do.
Let me speak on my existence.
[C#] I get through life without a bottle or prescription,
but every choice I make, it is followed [Fm] by suspicion.
Once again, she left me hanging like a drop ceiling,
but it's my [G#] fault, I should've never cast [C#] feelings.
I built walls stronger than a rock building.
I beat myself up daily for the fact [Fm] that I don't got children.
I'm real quiet, never speak unless I'm spoken [G#] to,
but even when I struggle, I'm still doing what I'm supposed [C#] to do.
So understand that I'm the happiest alone,
cause you won't get a chance to hurt me, I can do that on my own.
This issue's from my past, perhaps I'm glad to [G#] bury.
Guilt and shame have always been my biggest [C#] adversaries.
Broken promises made me savage, I couldn't handle it.
From being numb, became accustomed [Fm] to abandonment.
All the liars that I met, I had enough [G#] of them.
After everything I've been through, how the fuck am I supposed to trust [C#] again?
Nothing is comparable, that's pain I never felt.
So now I never listen when she says [Fm] there is nobody else.
I play it safe, is that reward worth the [G#] risk?
Erratic behaviors degraded when chasing that first [C#] kiss.
Eject me from your life, go ahead and hit the button.
It just reminds [Fm] me why I don't commit to nothing.
I carry burners to the point I got a broken back.
And I remember [G#] never sleeping, I was smoking [C#] crack.
Blindfolded, driving on this hopeless path.
A life without drugs, how the fuck [Fm] am I supposed to cope with that?
I've done damage, I'm still paying off my [G#] past debts.
And I will help you as I'm dealing with this mad [C#] stress.
It never stops, look my mind has never had rest.
It's freedom only when I'm [Fm] gasping for my last breath.
You say you have my back but you're just unreliable.
When shit got rough, [G#] I always seen a different [C#] side of you.
Never show love to anyone, they never doubt you.
Do you ever think this world is [Fm] better off without you?
You think I give a fuck about your Facebook likes.
[G#] When I got a loaded pistol, suicidal every night.
[C#] And every scar I got was provided by a rusted knife.
This ain't an image, this my [Fm] motherfucking life.
Chaotically uncomfortable when I live in denial.
[G#] When my world turns gray, look it's impossible to [C#] smile.
But I have faith that the best is yet to come.
I'm putting that on everything, I put that on my [Fm] ex's son.
Now I pray next to the coffin in the [G#] morgue.
History's repeated as she's walking out the [C#] door.
If nothing else, I'm just honest, this ain't a cry for help.
If she don't wanna love me, look I'll have to learn to love [Fm] myself.
I'm a mess, somebody grab the [G#] nearest mop.
I'm more callous and distraught from every tear [C#] I drop.
Another shortcoming, another repercussion.
And since I've been broken, look I'm not [Fm] afraid of nothing.
I'm truly humbled by the messages I get.
They keep me moving with this music, these confessions I [C#] depend.
Cause when I struggle, I stay more focused than ever.
I believe that I can do [Fm] this, so I must be feeling better.
Again I opened up and she just sat there and remained silent.
Who's coming with [G#] me, let's get higher than a [C#] plane pilot.
I play it innocent, but honestly my mind's violent.
I'll find happiness, or trust [Fm] me I will die trying.
_ _ _ [G#] I'll find happiness or trust me I will [C#] die trying
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