Chords for Tom Waits - Better Off Without a Wife

[F#] _ _ [B] _ _ [F#] _ Wow, [B] _
for all [C#] the bachelors out there tonight,
[F#] _ _ _
_ yeah, for anybody who's never whistled this song, _
_ _ [A] _ _ [F#] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ or maybe you whistled it, but you lost the sheet music.
_ [D#m] _ _ _ [F#] _ _
_ This [B] is, _ _ [F#] well, actually, [G#m] _ [C#] I don't mind going to [F#] weddings
or anything, as long [G#m] as it's not my own.
[F#] I [G#m] show up, _ [C#m] but _ [C#] I've always [F#] kind of been partial
[B] to [F#] calling myself up on the phone and asking myself out.
[G#] You know, [D#m] [G#m] oh yeah, you [C#m] call yourself up too, huh?
_ _ [F#] Yeah, _ one thing about it, you're always around.
[D#] _ _ _ [F#] _
_ _ [G#m] _ _ [C#m] Yeah, you ask [F#] yourself out, you [Bm] know,
[F#] you're in some class joint somewhere,
_ _ Burrito King or something. _
[G#m] You [F#] know, well, I ain't cheap, you know. _
_ Take yourself [D#m] out for a couple of drinks, [F#] maybe, you [G#m] know,
[E] and you be [F#] some provocative conversation on the way home.
_ _ Park in front of the house, _ [G#m] _ oh [F#] yeah, you smooth with it.
You know, we put a little nice music on,
maybe you put on like _
[G#m] shopping [F#] music,
something that's not too interruptive, you know,
and then _
_ [B] slide [F#] over real nice, you know,
and say, oh, I think you have something in your eye. _ _ _ _
Well, maybe it's not that romantic with you,
but Christ, [B] huh, you know, I get into it, you [C#] know.
[F#] Take myself up to the porch [G#m] and [C#m] take myself inside,
or maybe [F#] _ get a little something in a brandy snifter or something.
Would you like to listen to some of my back records?
I got something here. _
_ Well, usually about 2.30. in the morning, you've ended up taking advantage of yourself, and [G#m] there ain't no way around that. _ [C#m] _ _ _ _ _ [F#] Yeah, making a scene with a magazine, there ain't no way around _ it. _ [B] I'll confess, you [F#m] know, I'm no different, you [C#m] know. [F#] I'm not weird about it or anything. [C#m] I don't tie myself [F#] up first. I just, you know, _ I just say it's kind [B] of, _ spend a little [C#m] time with [F#] myself. [E] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _ [F] _ [F#] _
_ So this is kind of a little anthem. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [G#m] _ _ _ _ _ _
[C#] _ _ [F#] Oh, my friends are married, every Tom and Dick and Harry. You must be strong if you're [D#m] to go it [G#m] alone. [C#] _ Here's to [F#] the [C#] bachelors and the bowery [F#] bums. Those who feel that they're the ones that are better [C#] off [G#] [F#] without a wife. _ _ Sound like I [B] sleep into [C#] the crack of noon, [F#] midnight [D#m] howling at the [G#] moon. Going [C#] out when I [F#] want to, _ [A#] [D#m] when I [F#] please. [B] Don't have to [C#] ask permission. [F#] _ I want [D#m] to go out [G#m] fishing. Never have to ask for [C#] the key. _ _ [F#] _ _ I never been no Valentino, but I had [D#m] a girl [C#] living real. [F#] Left [D#m] me for a trumpet [G#m] player, but it didn't [C#] get me down. [F#] He was wanted for assault. No, I said it wasn't [C#] his fault. You [F#] know the coppers rolled [D#m] him [F#] right out of town. _ [B] I've been sleeping into [C#] the crack of noon, [F#] _ midnight [D#m] howling at the [G#m] moon. And I've been going out [C#] when I want [F#] to, [A#] coming [D#m] home when I please. [F#] _ [B] Don't have to [C#] ask permission. [F#] _ I want to [D#m] go out fishing. [G#m] _ Never have to ask for [C#] the key. _ _ [F#] I am kind of selfish about my privacy. _ Now as long [A#m] as [D#m] I can be with me, we [G#m] get along so well I [C#] can't even believe it. [F#] _ Love that [C#] you're that fat with folks. [F#] I've been listening to all your [C#] dirty jokes. [F#] I'm so [F] thankful for these [D#m] friends [F#] I do receive. _ _ I've been [B] sleeping into [C#] the crack of noon, [F#] _ _ [D#m] midnight howling at the [G#] moon. And I've been going [C#] out when I want to, [F#] [A#] coming [D#m] home when I [F#] please. [B] Don't have to [C#] ask permission. [F#] _ I want to go [D#m] out fishing. _ [G#m] Never have to ask [C#] for the keys. No. _ [F#] _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ [F#] _
_ [D#m] _ [C#] _ _ [F#] _ _ _ [D#m] _
_ [G#m] I got this [C#] girl I know, man. [F#] She's been married several [C#] [F#] times. _ I don't [C#m] want to end up like [F#] her. I [A#m] mean, she's been married [D#m] so many times. [G#m] She's got rice marks all over [C#] her face. [F#] _ Yeah, you know the [C#] kind. _ [F#] _ _ _ _ [C#] _ [F#] _ _ [A#m] _ [G#m] _ [C#] _ _ [F#] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ [F#] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [G#m] _
[F#] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [C#] _ _ [F#] _ _ _ _ _
_ [G#] _ [C#m] _ [F#] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _
_ _ Yeah. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _