Chords for Tom Lehrer: Alma (concert live) (1965)

_ _ _ [C] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [Bb] _ _ _ December 13th, there appeared in the [N] newspapers the juiciest, spiciest, _ raciest obituary it has ever been my pleasure to read. _ _
It was that of a lady named Alma Mahler-Gropius Werfel who had in her lifetime managed to acquire as lovers practically all of the top creative men in Central Europe.
And among these lovers, who were listed in the obituary by the way, which is what made it so interesting, _ _
_ _ _ _ _ there were three whom she went so far as to marry.
One of the leading composers of the day, Gustav Mahler, composer of Das Lied von der Erde and other light classics.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ One of the leading architects, Walter Gropius of the Bauhaus School of Design.
And one of the leading writers, Franz Werfel, author of the Song of Bernadette and other masterpieces. _ _ _
It's people like that who make you realize how little you've accomplished.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ It seemed to me on reading this obituary that the story of Alma was the stuff of which ballads should be made, so here is one.
_ [F] _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ [C] _
_ _ [F] The loveliest girl in [Bb] Vienna, [C] was Alma the smartest [F] as well.
Once you picked her up on [Bb] your antenna, [C] you'd never be free [F] of her spell.
Her [Db] lovers were many [Ab] and varied, [Eb] from the day she began [Ab] her biggine.
There were three famous [Fm] ones whom she married, [G] and God knows how many [C] between.
_ [Bb] _
Alma, [F] tell us, [C] all modern women [F] are jealous.
_ [Bb] Which of your [F] magical wands [Gm] got you [C] Gustav and Walter [F] and Franz? _
_ _ The first one she [Bb] married was Mahler, [C] whose buddies all knew [F] him as Gustav.
And each time he saw her [Bb] he'd holler, [C] ach, that is the [F] freulein I must have.
[Db] Their marriage, however, [Ab]
was murder.
_ [Eb] He'd scream to the heavens [Ab] above,
I'm writing das Lied [Fm] von der Erde, _ [G]
and she only wants to [C] make love.
_ [Bb] _
Alma, [F] tell us, [C] all modern women are [F] jealous.
You [Bb] should have a statue [Dm] in bronze for [Gm] bagging [C] Gustav and Walter and Franz.
_ [F] _
_ _ While married to Gus, [Bb] she met Gropius, [C] and soon she was swinging [F] with Walter.
Gus died and her teardrops [Bb] were copious.
[C] She cried all the way [F] to the altar.
[Db] But he would work [Ab] late at the Bauhaus, [Eb] and only came home [Ab] now and then.
She said, what am [F] I running, a [Fm] chow house?
[G] It's time to change partners [C] again.
_ [Bb] _
Alma, [F] tell us, [C] all modern women [F] are jealous.
[Bb] Though you didn't even [F] use ponds, [C] you got Gustav and [F] Walter and Franz.
[C] _ _
_ _ [F] While married to Walt, [Bb] she'd met Berfel, [C] and he too was [F] caught in her net. _
He married her, but he [Bb] was careful, [C] cause Alma was [F] no Bernadette.
[Db] And that is the story [Ab] of Alma, who [Eb] knew how to receive [Ab] and to give.
The body that [C] reached her, [Fm]
Embalma, [G] was one that had known how [C] to live.
_ [Bb] _ Alma, [F] tell us, [C]
how can they help being [F] jealous?
[Bb] Ducks always envy [F] the swans who [Gm] get Gustav [C] and Walter.
You never did falter with Gustav and Walter [F] and Franz.
_ _ [E] _ _ [Gm] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [C] _ [Eb] _ _ _ _
_ _ [F] _ _ [Gm] _ _ _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ [Eb] _ _ _ _