Chords for The Perfect Ten

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I've just seen the movie Ten, [F] and I'm a fairly normal [G] man, but a ten I reckon's every [C] man's desire.
So with that plan on me mind, [F] I went out to try and find the [G] perfect ten.
Now put [C] out the fire. _
Found this joint I'd heard about, [F] where the [Dm] sheilas all hung out.
I [G] paid me dough, they stamped me hand, and I [C] went inside. _
But I didn't see no tens.
[F] Must all fucked off by then.
[G] Oh well, hang around a while, check [C] out the nines. _
There's a nine sat at a table, [F] so I went over, said [G] g'day.
But did you sat there sneering, doe-eyed [C] at the stage.
Must be a groupie for the band, no [F] telling what she's cooked from them [G] fucking corpters.
I'd be better off [C] with an eight. _ _
[D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Now this high-tie bird's an eight.
[G] Eight grade body, pretty face, [A] but these day-go-disco-debs just [D] ain't my style.
And her dress looked like she'd stole [G] it off a fucking toilet roll.
[A] And the make-up had been slapped on [D] with a _ trowel.
I'd even settle for a seven, [G] cause I've had a beer or two, [A] and I'm prepared to bend the
rules a little [D] bit. _ _
And I'll try and [G] overlook the fact she's not all that good looking.
[A] As long as she gives heads, [D] got big tits. _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Can hardly see their faces, [A] fucking dark here in this place, but [B] in the darkness even six looks [E] alright.
_ And when I saw this one come past, I [A] grabbed me chance and grabbed her ass.
[B] She fucking decked me, left me looking [E] for a five. _
Picked meself back up again, [A] bought meself another can and [B] come up with a plan I thought
was [E] fucking clever.
I thought if I can't pull a ten, [A] what I ought to do is then just [B] grab a couple of fives
and screw [E] them both together. _ _
_ [D] _ _ _ [F] _ _ _
She looked alright for a four, [Bb] in her high-cut denim shorts, [C] with a tiny little tattoo [F] on her tits.
And look, I got nothing against tats, but [Bb] this one's put there warning that she's [C] the
property of [Am] Hell's Angels, [F] interact your own risks.
So now we're down to fucking threes, [Bb] and I'm thinking to meself, Jesus, [C] what's a bloke
supposed to [F] fucking do?
A fortnight's wages on one drink and [Bb] I haven't even had a sniff.
[C] Should have gone ugly early, [F] checked out for twos. _ _
_ [E] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
If your dog looked like this too, [C] you'd probably get the vet to shoot it.
[D] But this one bought the drink, so [G] she's a two and a half. _
If I could stick her on a chain, then [C] she could growl and bark at strangers [D] and at least
stop the cunts from knocking [G] off me car. _
From dogs to fucking bush [C] pigs, you should have seen the ones.
[D] There's a bounty on them bastards [G] on the farm.
And if you wake up in the morning [C] with a snore on your shoulder, [D] you wouldn't wake her up,
you'd just chew off [G] your fucking arm. _
[A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I'd come looking for a ten, [B] but I ended up a zero.
I [E] think I'll cut me fucking [A] lots and go home. _
Because this joint's a bigger rip off [D] than a wax job on your knackers.
[E] But I'd better drain the sump [A] before I go. _
So I'm standing at the dunny [B] point and Percy at the porcelain.
And [E] I look down and count the fingers [A] on both hands. _
Because when you add it up, [D] I should have stayed home at a tug.
Because [E] look at that, a [A] perfect fucking ten. _
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_ _ Loads of fucking mud. _ _
_ _ _ Fuck em. _ _ _
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_ _ _ _ _ _ The answer my friend is right here in me hand. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ I'm giving up. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ I never thought I could.
_ I'm _ _ _ feeling better already. _
Because I'm better off pulling me punch.
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