Chords for John Williamson - The Vasectomy Song [Live]

_ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _ _ [C] _
_ _ _ _ [F] _ _ _
It's just the modern world we live in, but why do they pick [C] on me? _ _
Why just the other week, [G] my missus had [F] the cheek [G] to talk me into a [C] vasectomy. _ _
At first it never clicked that I was getting nicked.
I thought it was to test for illity. _ _
Then after I went through it, [Bb] ten days we [C] couldn't do it.
[G] And then the doctor said [E] to _ me, [C] I couldn't believe it folks.
[G] He said, please blow into this bag, [Bb] please sir.
What?
[C] To test your capability.
_ I beg your pardon?
We're cutting down on accidents.
[Bb] I said, are you fainting?
He [C] said, please blow into this bag and we'll see. _
Well, _ _ _ I couldn't believe it at first.
_ But you [F] know what they say about doctor's orders, [F] so he gave me the little [C] bag and ushered
me into the little room with all the pinups.
_ _ _ Rubby little room it was too.
_ _ And I came back with my little bag _ _ and the doctor was quite satisfied.
_ _ So was I. _ _
It's just the modern world [Bb] we live in. _
[C] There's new fangled things every day. _
[F] The cop said I was fainting [F] according to his reading.
[G] But I was three kilometres [C] away. _
I was feeling pretty mad [Bb] when he took [C] out his pad.
I tried to stay as calm as [C] I could be. _
He found a baldy tread.
[Bb] He saw my [F] eyes were red.
[G] And then he said this strange [C] thing to me.
[Dm] _ _ _ I said, what again?
[G] _
_ _ He said, [F] please blow into this bag.
[Bb] Please sir, I said hang on.
[C] Test your capability.
_ What?
We're cutting down on [Bb] accidents.
I said, are you fainting?
He [C] said, please blow into this bag and we'll see.
Well, this time I really was shaken up.
The cop could see I was a bit excited.
_ He said, well, you better take a good grip on yourself, son.
_ _ So I went around me own a big gum tree.
I _ came back with my little bag.
_ _ Well, you can imagine what happened.
_ It's just a modern world [F] we live in.
_ [C] I'm feeling very sad and [C] pale.
_ _ The judge said I was sick [F] and threw me in the neck.
[G] The missus said she wouldn't pay the bail.
_ So take it from a fool [Bb] like me.
_ _ [C] Beware of quacks and boys in blue.
_ [F] I'm feeling pretty bruised.
[Bb] So don't you get [G] confused.
I'd catch a train if I was you.
[C] _ _
All the other now.
Please [C] blow into this bag.
[Bb] Please sir.
_ _ [F] It sends a shiver down the [C] spine.
_ [F] Please blow into this bag.
[Bb] Please sir.
[Fm] If the women [C]
don't get you, it's the [Bb] wine.
[F] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _
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