Chords for Jilted John's Third TOTP Appearance

At number six ladies and gentlemen, they cannot stand it, they want another.
Jilted John ladies and gentlemen at [C] number six.
Goodness gracious it's too much. _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [F] I've been [C] going out with [F] a girl, her [C] name is [F] Julie.
But [C] last night she said to [F] me, when we were [C] watching telly. _
This is what she said.
[F] She said, listen [G] John I love [F] you, there's this [C] plug I [F] fancy.
I [C] don't want to toot [F] on you, so hit [C] the echo at me. _ _ _
_ _ [F] Who's [C] this plug I ask [F] her, [C] Gordon she [F] replied.
Not that [C] pump I said [F] dismayed.
Yes but [C] he's no pump she cried.
_ He's more of a man than you'll ever [A] be.
_ [F#m] _ _ [A] Here we [D] go, so [C] grateful. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[F] I was [C] so upset that I [F] cried all the way [C] to the chick [F] shop.
When I [C] came out there was [F] Gordon standing [C] at the bus stop.
_ I guess it was with him, yeah Julie.
And they were both laughing at me.
_ Oh she is cruel and heartless, to pack me for Gordon.
[F] Just because she's [C] better looking than [F] me, just because she's [C] cool and trendy. _
[F] But I know [C] he's a [F] moron, Gordon [C] is a [F] moron.
Gordon [C] _ _ [F] _ [C] is a _ moron.
_ _ _ _ [A] _ _
[F#] _ [A] Here we [D] go, so [C] grateful. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ She's a slut, she's a creep, she's a tart, she's very cheap.
She is a slut, she's a bitch, _ she's a pub.
Yeah, yeah, it's not fair.
Yeah, yeah, it's not fair.
I'm so upset, I'm so upset, I'm so upset. _
_ I ought to smash his face in. _
He's bigger than me isn't he?
_ I know, I'll get my mate Barry to eat him.
Eat flat isn't it?
Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's isn't he?
_ Oh well, I don't care.
_ Oh I [G#] don't care.
Ha, ha, [C] ha, ha, ha.