Chords for IVOR BIGGUN & THE RED NOSED BURGLARS - The Wanker song
Tempo:
99.55 bpm
Chords used:
G
D
C
A
B
Tuning:Standard Tuning (EADGBE)Capo:+0fret
Start Jamming...
[Gm] My mother said that I never should
[B] Play with the naughty rude girls in [F] the wood
Their giggling [G]
talk I could never [G] understand
[F] And that's [B] why I fell in love with my [D] right hand
[C] And [A]
that's [D] why [G] I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
[C] And it does me good, [G] like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
[D] I was twenty [G]-five years old [D] before [G] I was kissed
[A] And then I found that I preferred a swift one [D] off the wrist
It's cheap [G] and convenient, [D] you can't [G] catch me, gee
[A] It's available at any time and it's [D] absolutely free
[C] [Bm] And that's why [D]
[G] I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker
And it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
Oh, [D] Mrs.
Pond [C] and your five [G] lovely daughters
[C] Thank [G] you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got pains [G] in my [C] arms and my dong is [G] growing shorter
My knees have [G] turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
[D] I've wanked [G] over [D] Italy, I've wanked [G] over Spain
[E] I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had [D] a wank in a train
I've [G] used a badger [D] and a melon [G] and a cat
An [Am] inflatable in the love lace and a [D] Davy Crockett [C] hat
[Bm] And that's [D] why [G]
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
And it does me good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm [G] always pulling my hood Here, listen!
Oh, Mrs.
[C] Pond and your [G] five lovely daughters
Thank you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got [G] pains in my [C] arms and my dong [G] is getting shorter
[C] My knees [G] have turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker and it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [E] wanker And [D] he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [D] wanker And he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
[C#]
[B] Play with the naughty rude girls in [F] the wood
Their giggling [G]
talk I could never [G] understand
[F] And that's [B] why I fell in love with my [D] right hand
[C] And [A]
that's [D] why [G] I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
[C] And it does me good, [G] like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
[D] I was twenty [G]-five years old [D] before [G] I was kissed
[A] And then I found that I preferred a swift one [D] off the wrist
It's cheap [G] and convenient, [D] you can't [G] catch me, gee
[A] It's available at any time and it's [D] absolutely free
[C] [Bm] And that's why [D]
[G] I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker
And it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
Oh, [D] Mrs.
Pond [C] and your five [G] lovely daughters
[C] Thank [G] you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got pains [G] in my [C] arms and my dong is [G] growing shorter
My knees have [G] turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
[D] I've wanked [G] over [D] Italy, I've wanked [G] over Spain
[E] I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had [D] a wank in a train
I've [G] used a badger [D] and a melon [G] and a cat
An [Am] inflatable in the love lace and a [D] Davy Crockett [C] hat
[Bm] And that's [D] why [G]
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
And it does me good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm [G] always pulling my hood Here, listen!
Oh, Mrs.
[C] Pond and your [G] five lovely daughters
Thank you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got [G] pains in my [C] arms and my dong [G] is getting shorter
[C] My knees [G] have turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker and it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [E] wanker And [D] he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [D] wanker And he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
[C#]
Key:
G
D
C
A
B
G
D
C
_ _ _ [Gm] _ My mother said that I never should
[B] Play with the naughty rude girls in [F] the wood
Their giggling [G]
talk I could never [G] understand
[F] And that's [B] why I fell in love with my [D] right hand
[C] And [A]
that's [D] why [G] I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
[C] And it does me good, [G] like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
[D] I was twenty [G]-five years old [D] before [G] I was kissed
[A] And then I found that I preferred a swift one [D] off the wrist
It's cheap [G] and convenient, [D] you can't [G] catch me, gee
[A] It's available at any time and it's [D] absolutely free
[C] _ [Bm] And that's why [D] _
[G] I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker
And it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
Oh, [D] Mrs.
Pond [C] and your five [G] lovely daughters
[C] Thank [G] you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got pains [G] in my [C] arms and my dong is [G] growing shorter
My knees have [G] turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
[D] I've wanked [G] over [D] Italy, I've wanked [G] over Spain
[E] I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had [D] a wank in a train
I've [G] used a badger [D] and a melon [G] and a cat
An [Am] inflatable in the love lace and a [D] Davy Crockett [C] hat
[Bm] And that's [D] why _ [G]
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
And it does me good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm [G] always pulling my hood Here, listen!
Oh, Mrs.
[C] Pond and your [G] five lovely daughters
Thank you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got [G] pains in my [C] arms and my dong [G] is getting shorter
[C] My knees [G] have turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker and it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [E] wanker And [D] he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [D] wanker And he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
_ _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _
[B] Play with the naughty rude girls in [F] the wood
Their giggling [G]
talk I could never [G] understand
[F] And that's [B] why I fell in love with my [D] right hand
[C] And [A]
that's [D] why [G] I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
[C] And it does me good, [G] like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
[D] I was twenty [G]-five years old [D] before [G] I was kissed
[A] And then I found that I preferred a swift one [D] off the wrist
It's cheap [G] and convenient, [D] you can't [G] catch me, gee
[A] It's available at any time and it's [D] absolutely free
[C] _ [Bm] And that's why [D] _
[G] I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker
And it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker [D] and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
Oh, [D] Mrs.
Pond [C] and your five [G] lovely daughters
[C] Thank [G] you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got pains [G] in my [C] arms and my dong is [G] growing shorter
My knees have [G] turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
[D] I've wanked [G] over [D] Italy, I've wanked [G] over Spain
[E] I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had [D] a wank in a train
I've [G] used a badger [D] and a melon [G] and a cat
An [Am] inflatable in the love lace and a [D] Davy Crockett [C] hat
[Bm] And that's [D] why _ [G]
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
And it does me good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm [G] always pulling my hood Here, listen!
Oh, Mrs.
[C] Pond and your [G] five lovely daughters
Thank you for having [A] me and being [D] oh so kind
I've got [G] pains in my [C] arms and my dong [G] is getting shorter
[C] My knees [G] have turned to water [D] and I think [G] I'm going blind
I'm a wanker, I'm a [C] wanker and it does me [G] good, like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a [D] wanker and I'm always [G] pulling my hood
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [E] wanker And [D] he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a [D] wanker And he's always pulling [G] his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he does seem good like he bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker And he's always pulling his plug
_ _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _