Chords for FRANK ZAPPA- TITIES AND BEER

_ _ _ _ _ _ [A] _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ [A] _ _
[B] It [F#m] was the blackest night and there was no moon in [C#] sight.
No, the stars ain't shining cause the [E] sky's too tight.
I heard the scary wind, I seen some ugly trees.
There was a werewolf walking along the side of me.
[B] I'm leaning on the [A] bed, you know I [E] ain't no [F#] sissy.
Got a [B] big titty [A] girl and five [E] of me.
[F#] Prissy, [B] locking up [A] powder in my baby.
[F#] And the sky, the clouds, yeah.
[F#] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[A] _ I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ noticed even the crickets were acting weird up here.
And so I figured I might just drink a little beer.
I said, give me some of that, [A] what you're sucking on.
But [F#] there was no [B] reply cause [E] she was [B] gone.
Well, [E] those titties I like so well.
[B] And my god [A] damn beer is what [E] I started to yell.
[B] Then I heard the snoring like [E] a crunch twig.
[B] Then, bump, jumped [A] the devil.
He [E] was about this [F#] big, he had a red suit on.
And a [A] widow's peak and then [F#] a pointed tail.
[D] And like a sulphur [F#] roof, yes it was him, alright.
I swear to god, nobody was who had the human flesh.
The sun, naked claws, you know what?
Loved to me like [A] it was titty skin.
[E] I said, you [F#] son of a bitch, cause I was mad at him.
Well, he just got out his floss and started [A] cleaning his [B] fangs.
So I shot him with my shooter, said, bang, bang, bang.
Then the sucker just [C] laughed and said, put it [Bm] away.
You know [A] I ate her all up, now [F#] what you gonna say?
[B] You ate my [A] Chrissy?
_ [F#] Titties and all.
Well, what about the beer then, boy?
With the cans this tall.
[B] Even her [A] boots.
Would [E] I lie to [F#] you?
Shit, [B] you must have [D] been hungry.
Yes, this [B] is true.
Don't they pay [A] you good for the [G#] stuff that you do?
Well, [B] you know, I can't complain [F#] when the checks come through.
Well, I want my Chrissy [F#] and I want my beer.
So [B] you just barf it [E] back up, now devil, do [F#] you hear?
Blow it [E] out your ass, motorcycle [F#] man.
I [B] mean, [A] I am the [D#] devil, do you [F#] understand?
Just [A] what will you give me for [F#] your titties and beer?
Now, [B] I [A] suppose you notice this little [F#] contract here.
[B] You're goddamn [Am] right, you son [F#] of a whore.
Don't [B] call me that.
That's about [A] the only reason I learn [F#] writing, boy.
Give [A] me that.
Hey, bet your ass [F#] I will sign.
[B] Because I [A] need a beer in [F#] that titty-squeezing time.
Man, you [A] can't fool me.
[E] You ain't that bad.
[B] I mean, [A] you should have seen some of the [E] souls that I've had.
When there was [A] Milhouse Nixon and Agnew [Bm] too.
And [A] both of those suckers were [F#] worse than you.
Well, let's [A] make a deal, if you think [D#] that's true.
I mean, you're the devil, [F#] so what you gonna do?
Wait a minute.
A tinge of doubt crosses [D#] my mind when you [F#] say that you [A] want to make a deal with me.
That's very, [F#] very true.
You ain't supposed [A] to want to make a deal with me.
[F#] Ah, but I'm slightly [B] different than your average [A] customer, devil.
But most people [F#] don't want to make a deal with [B] me.
Yeah, well, most [C#] people are afraid of you.
See, they don't know how stupid you [B] are.
I happen to know that you [E] jack off to a picture of funky meadows when you get home.
[B] Stupid.
[A] _ [F#] _ You know, ever since that guy told you that he contained more fluid than Jeff [B] Beck, you've been trying to outdo him.
[A] _ _ [F#] All right, look, [B] I'm gonna say one thing to you.
This [A] may not register [E] right away, but let me say this.
Leave [A] your pickle alone for a couple of [F#] nights, you know what I mean?
_ [B] _
[A] Now, come on.
I'm only [F#] interested in a couple of things.
[B] Wait, is that a note for me?
[A] Is somebody passing me a [B] note?
What does this say? _ _
Frank, please do me a favor.
I can't find a brother [N] of mine.
I could dig it if you could call him from stage.
His name is Dirty Tom Nomads, [B] MC.
Signed, [F#m] Thanks, Bear or [B] Bean?
I can't [A] tell.
Well, if he's [F#] out there, Dirty [A] Tony _ _ DeLaNomads, [B] MC, [A] get in touch with Bean [F#] or Bear.
And as I was [Bm] saying, Devil, [A] I'm an [C#] average sort of a person.
I'm, [B] _
you wouldn't believe it, but [F#] I'm very much like the people here in this audience tonight.
I think we definitely [B] have something in common.
[A] Wait a minute, I thought you [E] had funny things [F#] growing in your hair and all that other shit.
I [E] thought, right, weird [F#] music, you know, I thought [A] biker and everything.
I mean, shit, [B] you know, big titty chick that you just had out [A] here with the camera.
Listen carefully to me, [B] old devil. _ _
[E] I'm only interested in two [F#] things.
Yeah. _ _
[A] See if you can guess what they are.
I would think, [F#]
let's see, maybe, uh, _ stripping ski.
Well, I'll give you two clues.
Let's see.
Let go of your [B] pickle.
What?
Let [Em] go of your pickle.
I'm not holding my pickle.
[A] Well, who's holding your pickle then?
I don't know.
[E] She's not an audience.
_ _ Hey, Dale, would [B] you like to come over here and [A] hold my pickle to satisfy this [B] weird man out here on the stage? _
[A] _ You're [B] probably wondering why we call it a pickle. _
[A] _ _ _ _ [F#] _ _ [B] _ _
_ [A] _ Oh, no.
[F#m] I hate to squeal on you, [A] Bozo, I mean, devil, but [F#] look, I'm only interested [B] in two things.
[A] Wait a minute.
All I [C#] have to say is, God help me, even though I [A] have this _ fucking [F#] mask on.
[B] _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ [F#] _ _ _ _
[A] _ Listen, if you think [F#] that mask looks [B] bad, you ought to see [A] his pickle.
_ _ _ [F#] _ _ I'm [A] only interested in two things, and that's [F#] titties and beer.
You know what I mean?
[B] What?
[Am] Titties and beer?
Titties and beer.
[Bm] Titties and beer.
Titties and beer.
Titties and beer.
Titties and beer.
I don't know if [A] you're the right guy.
Titties and beer.
[C#] Titties and beer.
Titties and beer. _
_ No, _ [F#] _ _ [B] _
[A] don't sign it.
Give me [F#m] time to think.
[B] I mean, hold [A] on a second, boy, because [F#] that's magic.
Then the [B] devil let go of his [Am] pickle and out came my girl.
[E] They heard the titties flop, flopping all around the world.
She [F#m] said, I've gotten three beers and a fistful of downs, and I'm going to get ripped, so
fuck you, clown.
Then she [B] gave us her fingers [B] and we're grizzled [F#] stiff.
That's when the devil, he [A] farted, and she went right over the cliff.
[F#] Whoa, _ tinsel time. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [C#] Well, the devil was mad.
I took off to Montana.
I swear I do [B] declare.
How did she get [F#m] back there?
I swear I do [B] declare.
How did she get [F#m] back there?
I swear I do [B] declare.
How did she get [F#m] back there?
I swear I do [B] declare.
How did she get [F#m] back there?
I swear I do [B] declare.
How did she get [F#m] back there? _ _
[B] _ _ _ [F#m] All right. _ _
[B] _ _ _ _ [F#m] _ _ _
[B] I think that's enough of the [A] devil and his famous pickle. _ _
[B] We're going to make another dramatic, [F#m] if _
[B] somewhat _ _ [F#m] _ [G#m] rickety, segue [F#] into another song called [F#m] Cruising for Burgers. _ _
[Bm] _ _ _ _ [F#m] _ _ _ _
[B] _ _ _ _ [F#] _ _ [N] _ _