Chords for Fat Mike On Raising Kids & The Colombian Riots - Noisey Specials NOFX, #14

_ _ _ _ _ _ You want [E] to hear about the worst record review we've ever got?
So much.
Yeah.
It was in [F#m] Vice Magazine.
Was it?
[F#] Yeah.
War on Errorism.
What'd you get?
A zero [F#m] out of ten.
Said something about Pat Mike, singing about [E] politics, why don't you go back and sit at
the little kids [Em] table.
Maybe that was supposed to be [A#] good.
I mean you can't have [F] ten without a zero.
[C#] You're kind of shorting, you're short right now.
Yeah.
It's kind of [G] weird. _
_ _ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ [Dm] _ _ [C] _ _
[A#] _ _ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _
[A#] _ _ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ [D] _ _ [C] _ _
[A#] _ _ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ [Dm] _ _ [C] _ _
[A#] _ _ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
_ The _ [C] _ 90s were [D#] pretty good.
Actually gave bidet toilet seats, five hundred bucks a piece to everyone in D4 when we signed them.
Yeah.
[C#] And they all use them.
And now they're all bummed because when they go on [D#] tour, they, you [F] know, feel like a Neanderthal.
No, that was in the 90s [G#] when things were going well for everybody.
[D#] _ _ Now we give everyone a [B] ham.
_ I want to see the [D#] Constitution burn.
Want to watch the black house [E] overturn.
But a witness of blue blood [F#] bleeds red.
_ _ _ _ [B] _
[G#m] I can't think of a bully to [E] be an off-rank.
Yeah, [F#] yeah, yeah.
[B] _ Right out of the [G#] government.
Right out of the [E] government.
Right out of the government.
[F#] _ _ _ [B] _ _ [G#m] Right out of the [E] government.
Right out of the government.
[F#] _ _ Murder the government.
[B] _ _ _ _ _ _
[A] Well, my daughter, she, you know, poops her diapers a [D#] lot.
I'm sitting around in it, I'm changing it, and there was just a bunch of poo in her vagina. _ _
And I'd like get it out of [A#] the vagina, like scraping it.
That's, [G#m] you're not prepared for that.
One of the [A#] things I wasn't prepared for.
That's a good joke, though.
How do you get a gay guy to screw a girl?
_ Her vagina?
_ [A] _
_ _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _
_ Don't [F#] call me white.
[A] Don't call [E] me white.
_ Don't call [F#] me white.
[A] Don't call [E] me white.
I'm a _ [D#m] dick, _ [F#] _ _ _ _ _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ [F#m] _ shit, [E] and a mother's dick.
_ [F#] I'm a dick, shit, [A] and a [E] mother's dick.
_ _ _ [F#] I [A] understand, [F#] but it speaks to me [E] all the [A] time.
Unless the air's like a gaseous toilet, man, it's toilet flight.
Don't [F#] call me white.
[A] Don't call [E] me white.
_ [F#] Don't call me white.
[A] Don't call [E] me white.
_ [F#] We went to Columbia last year, and there was a huge riot.
So, once again, we [F] didn't get to play Columbia.
Yeah, this one is shut down with, like, water cannons and [D#] all kinds of fucked up shit.
So, we want to go back to Columbia.
And this time, get a show in [F#] Medellin and Bogota.
So, one of them [D#] has to happen.
The best thing, we landed in Columbia.
The Columbia [F] airport came [C#] out of [D#] customs, got our bags, and some kid [F] goes,
Welcome to Columbia, and gave me an eight ball and a bag of pot.
Right in the airport?
In the airport.
We're [B] professional fuckers.
[A#] We come from the [F#] suburbs.
After 28 [E] years, we're still having fun.
[A] We're over 40, [D] not looking so 40.
[E] He got a beat up Eric [A] Melba.
_ _ _ [D] _ _
_ [E] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _
That's Smelly, our [D] drummer.
His father's a homeowner.
[E] He's making up blues to get Rhode Island drunk.
So, remember Smelly,