Chords for Brave and Mighty Captain

I can tell him a nice little tale.
We've a mighty tale.
Tell him a story.
I will tell [C#] him a story of [B] mightiness.
Good word!
That's not [F] a word.
That's not a word.
I will tell him a story of epic braveriness.
Good word!
Braveriness-ness-ness is not a word here.
I will tell him a story of_
Of complete and utter crap.
What?
He does this all the time.
He always has these epic-austic tales of flingly-dangly.
And they're all crap.
He makes them all up.
In fact, they only have one thing in common.
Tossie?
Yeah?
[G] What is the one thing that his grandio [F]-taustic tales of slippy-backitude have in common?
That we're never there when they happen.
Exactly.
You are welcome.
That's [D] okay, because he always comes back and tells us everything that happened.
I do.
[G] Every last detail. That's right.
Every last detail is a complete and utter fabricosity of ample ejaculation.
[F] Ooh!
Oh!
_ Oh! _ _
Oh!
[C#] _ Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! _
[D] _ _ _ [A] Oh! _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [D] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _ _
[F#m] _ _ [B] _ _ [A] _ _ _ _
[F#] _ _ _ [F] _ Oh!
That _ scar _ _ [A] _ _ [F#m] right there was from a shark bite on my rear.
Yeah, [Bm] but Chewie said, that [E] isn't really true.
That's because it is really [A] true.
He said that you fell down the stairs [F#m] while wearing women's underwear.
[Bm] And busted through the [C] window of the [E] back door of a stew.
_ A stew?
[F#] Yeah.
Like you eat?
No, it's another name for a whorehouse.
Oh.
You eat a whorehouse?
[C] Every day. _
Woo!
Woo!
[F#] _ _ _ Some of them got it.
Singing, whoring, whores, [C#] singing loud and kicking from.
Tell me, tell me about your secret, [E] _ myself.
Hello, [F#] you can't go to them whores.
[D] See me, meet me, [F] all day long.
Tell me about what else you've been whoring.
_ [A] Remember I told you about [F#m] those eight guys that I busted?
[G#] [Bm] I beat them up, got bloodied up, then [E] I got arrested.
Uh-huh.
[A] But Sven was there and says no way. [F#m] No way!
It was fun when you had no pay.
[F] No [Bm] pay!
Ain't no whore she gave you more [E] than loving on that [G] day. _
[N] All right, that's a long story.
I know!
And it's a long story that ends with you getting your ass kicked by a girl.
[F] Again.
_ _ _ So, sit [D] down, I don't mind.
Singing loud and [A] kicking from.
Tell me about the last time [C#m] you dated, my ex-girlfriend.
Hello, you can't go to them whores.
See me, meet me, all day long.
Tell me about your ex-wife.
Man, I [F] love her so. _
Lie, lie, lie, _ _ lie. _
[A] _ There's a story of my life [F#m] when I made it with the governor's wife.
[Bm] Ginger hair and skin [E] so fair and curves so fine from here [F#] to there.
_ [A] But Saxton tells a different tale.
[F#m] He says that lady was a whale.
[F] _ [Bm] _
36, 24, 36.
[Fm] [E] Her forearms, neck and thighs.
[G#m] _ [N] _ _ _
It doesn't [F] even rhyme.
_ You never stopped us before?
_ [A#m] _
[A] Sing me one of them pirate [Dm] songs.
I'll sing it loud and [E] sing it strong.
Tell me about the last time you dated, [C#m] my ex-girlfriend.
See me, meet me, all day long.
See me, meet me, all day long.
Tell me about your ex-wife.
_ _ [F#m] I remember that time that I was marooned on an isle [C] by Cape Town Lagoon.
[Bm] Living off the land [E] and sea for almost 80 days. _
[A] A paddy beer, he spilled a [F#m] bean.
Said you were taken by a marine.
[Bm] Said you were the cabin boy.
[E] We heard you were the cabin toy.
_ [F#] _
_ [C] _ _ [G#] _ _ Alright, [N] it was a long time ago.
It was like only on Tuesdays.
No, no, we did it.
You were young.
It was college.
You needed the money.
No one was there.
_ Sing me one of them.
I'll sing it loud and [A] sing it strong.
Tell me about the last time you [N] dated, my ex [F]-girlfriend.
See me, _ _ meet me, all day [A] long.
See me, meet me, all day long.
Tell me about your ex-wife.
And _ _ _ there's a story that I love to tell [F#m] about swinging from the main mast sail.
[Bm] Well, to cut this in one hand, I must have [E] looked so grand.
[A] But Jack says that's not how it [F#m] went.
When you made that infamous descent.
[Bm] It was a Scotsman's kilt you [E] grabbed.
And salty Jack you nearly stabbed. _
_ It was more like a poke.
[N] I mean like Facebook.
No.
_ _ _ _ I need a shower. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _
Ah.
Now that's enough disturbing ads.
[F#m] I'm the meanest captain you'll ever have.
[B] _ [Bm] Now toe the line or else you'll walk the [E] plank.
Aargh.
There's that word again.
You [A] said that when you hired [F#m] him.
You wore a dress with frilly trim.
[Bm] While frolicking and picking [E] daisies down there by the bay. _ _
_ [Bm] Don't you judge [N] me. _ _ _ _
Don't you start playing it.
_ _ [F] Hey Zulu, I had a question.
He [N] was wearing a pink dress when he tried to hire you.
Why'd you say yes?
Because, uh, because, uh, uh,
_ Don't you judge him.
_ _ _ _ _ _ Singing in a [Cm] falsetto.
_ _ [F] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ Hey _ [N] _
_ seriously, _ _ _ _ _ _ seriously,
Would you [Dm] have resisted this?
_ _ I'm [C] dead safe.
[N] _ _
_ I'd like to point out that it has tearaway velcro.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ He's laughing, [F] he's like,
_ Yeah! _
_ You're welcome.
_ _ _ [N] _ _
[A] _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ [F] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [D] _ _ _ [C#m] _ _ _
_ _ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ Singing in a falsetto.
[Bm] Sing a way you love [A] it.
Tell me what you're [N] at,
but let me hear you sing this.
Lai, lai, lai, lai, lai, lai, lai.
Listening to you.
Lai, lai, lai, lai, lai, lai, lai. _ _ _ _ _