Chords for Bill Stevenson, Brendan Kelly and Fat Mike on Exclaim! Conversations

_ He thought I was picking on Muslims.
There's a lot of people out there that are Muslims. _
I'm just saying it like it is.
I'm not picking on Muslims.
If they were getting blowjobs, they wouldn't be so fucking angry.
_ _ [E] _ _ [Gb] _ _ _
Wow, [N] _ there's more people here now.
There's more people.
You know [E] why?
Because we [N] are on [E] stage.
[Gbm] _ _ [A] _ _
[N] _ _ You know, we flew here just to_
No, this guy's supposed to interview us.
_ Okay.
_ Yeah, I don't need to_
We got me and you here, dude.
We can talk for hours.
This moment here where we just became self-aware.
See, now we can_
No, no.
Do you know what?
The Suburban Lawns video is back on the internet with lyrics.
What, they pulled it off?
No, no.
But there was lyrics now.
It is?
Yeah, the lyrics are incredible.
I had no idea.
What do you mean you had no idea?
You knew all the lyrics.
No, I did not.
Yes, you did.
No, that part where she goes,
You're mother, you're father.
Who's your mother?
Who's your father?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
That's weird.
I distinctly remember emailing them to you
and you would text me back a chorus and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
When we were all caught up in it.
The choruses, I understood the choruses.
But now you got every [A] little word.
Yeah.
_ [C] _
[D] _ _ [A] _ [Fm] _ [G] _ _ [A] _ _
[C] _ [G] _ [A] _ _ [Db] _ _ [Dm] _ [A] _
_ [C] _ [A] _ _ _ [C] _ [G] _ [D] _
[A] _ _ Like, when you guys started, there was so much_
Wait, wait.
I am_ Fucking stop.
You said that it's a dark record.
Are you getting any enjoyment out of this dark record?
No, no.
That's what I want to hear.
No, no, he says.
_ Explain yourself.
I think it's an awesome record, but like, I think I will_
Everybody thinks iFatty's about me.
I don't know why.
Yeah, that's so weird.
I know.
It's totally_
It's about Fatty Arbuckle.
Duh.
No, but when NoFX started, there was a real voyeuristic quality to the lyrics.
It was really like, you [B] know, like Moron Brothers and stuff.
It was really [A] like a they.
And then it turned into [E] like Bob.
And then there was like a we quality to NoFX [A] for a really long time.
And now it's a me quality.
And now it's I.
And this I quality_
You speak of iFatty.
I mean, iFatty is just a part of it, [E] but it's like_
I comma whatever.
What is the word?
What's I Robot from Isaac Asimov.
I Robot?
Yeah, and then it's I Melvin because Melvin's like a robot.
Alkaline has this_
They sent me demos, you know, and this song's called I Pessimist.
I think it's a good title.
Yeah.
I Pessimist.
My point is that I feel like as you get closer and closer to your own soul,
it gets like [N] darker and creepier.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not saying darker creepy.
I'm a deviant.
I'm a social deviant.
I'm really deep too.
I'm a very [A] deep_ _ _ _ _
[Em] _ _ [Ab] _ _ _ _ [B] _ _
[Ab] _ [E] Let _ me take off my sunglasses and [Eb] say that [G] [Abm] everybody that is going to fly a plane into a building
should get a blowjob right before they do it and then be like_
They were probably blowing each other.
Do I still want to die right now?
[G] It's like, no, no, this is way better than flying a plane into a building.
I know.
And you know how much cheaper it would be to have hookers in the Middle East?
You know, like how many troops are out there?
100,000 troops?
Hookers.
So they need like five girls?
No, you need like 100,000 girls.
But, you know, and the girls, they're making money.
No one's getting killed.
It's a win-win.
[Bm] _
[C] It's _ [E] _ _ [D] _ [B] _ [C] _ _
[Bm] _ [C] a win-win.
I mean, I've [N] always espoused blowjobs as the answer to almost every problem.
And I think terrorism_
I almost prefer handjobs, really.
No, no.
The double handjob?
Two hands?
No, no.
Yeah, get your balls squeezed with one hand.
Get your, you know, shopper.
No, I need all of it.
You need the whole thing?
That is just outrageous.
No, no.
I cannot work.
No, if you've got some lube, that can cure the wetness.
And, you know, you have the two things going at once.
A handjob_
_ _ A handjob is like what your buddy could give you better than your girlfriend
because they know dicks.
Same fucking thing.
Same logic goes for blowjobs, though.
What are you talking about?
It all feels like_ That's true.
It all feels like little squirrels playing around down there.
And why are you talking about your buddy, dude?
You're obviously thinking about [Ab] that.
Why can't you be friends with a girl, huh?
Hey, I'm friends with girls, and I'm down for whoever wants to give me handjobs.
I am.
_ _ [N] _ _ _
You're fucking weird, dude.
I don't know.
Quit drinking so much.
I'm out of here.
You're a real twister, man.
I'm out of here, too.
I'm out of here first.
How about that?
No way I quit first.
No, look at this. _ _