Chords for What About Poor Old Santa Claus

_ What about poor old Santa [D] Claus? _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ [G] Ya cunts!
_ _ Christmas [D] comes but once a [C] year,
Bust me [G] fuckin' gut, [C] begiddy,
But when I do, [G] I can't get in!
[A] Your house is a fuckin' fortress!
[G] The chimney's [D] gone, the doors are locked,
[C] The alarm goes [G] off and you call the cops,
[C] Then the cops turn [G] up and lock me up,
[D] Wouldn't give a flying fuck [G] who I was!
_ What about [D] poor old Santa Claus?
_ [G] _ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _
[G] Ya cunts!
And them fuckin' [D] elves are lazy [C] cunts,
Wouldn't work [G] in an iron lung,
[C] Fuckin' useless [G] every one of them,
[A] Gotta do the fuckin' [D] lot meself!
[G] And them reindeers [A] worse than the fuckin' [C] elves,
Rudolph [G] and that mob from hell,
[C] I'll give them fuckin' [G] jingle bells,
[D] Calm ya lazy [G] cunts!
_ What about [D] poor old Santa _ _ [G] Claus?
[C] _ _
[D] _ _ [G] Useless cunts!
Gotta fly through [D] sleet and blind and [C] snow,
And dodge in [G] planes and [C] UFOs,
And fly in [G] saucers and cups back home,
[A] That Mrs.
of mine's [D] a fuckin' idiot!
[G] Bit by [D] dogs and frostbite [C] too,
Kicked by kits [G] and kangaroos,
[C] And up to me arse [G] in reindeer poo,
[D] I'm gettin' too old [G] for all this shit! _
What about poor [D] old Santa Claus?
_ _ [G] _ _
[C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] Ungrateful cunts!
Them fuckin' kids, [D] the little bastards,
[C] I oughta kick their [G] fuckin' arses,
[C] Payback for some of [G] the nasties,
The little [A] arseholes done to [D] me!
[G] They've spewed on themselves,
[D] They've shit in their pants,
[C] There's chunder and shit [G] all over their ants,
[C] And they wipe it off on ya [G] fuckin' beard,
[D] Ho, ho, [G] fuckin' ho!
What about poor [D] old Santa _ _ _
[G] Claus?
[C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] Little cunts!
_ [A] So what about poor [E] old Santa Claus,
[D] When I come back [A] next year?
Because [D] when I'm back in your [A] neighbourhood,
Here's [B] what you cunts had better [E] do!
[A] Stoke the bong [B] and stack the fridge,
[D] Or I'll fill up your arse [A] full of reindeer shit,
And [D] I'll leave fuck all [A] for ya mongrel kids,
And you [E] can sort the cunts out [A] yourself!
_ _ What about poor [E] old Santa Claus?
_ _ [A] _ _ [D] _ _ [B] Yeah, [A] ya cunts!
_ What about [E] _ _
_ _ [A] _ _ [D] poor [A] old Santa Claus?
Yeah, ya cunts!
_ What _ [E] _ _
about poor [A] old Santa Claus?
[D] _ _ [E] Ya [A] cunts!
_ _ What about poor [B] old Santa _
[E] _ _ [A] Claus?
[D] _ _ [E] Yeah, [A] ya mongrels!
_ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _ [A] _ _ _ _ [F#] _ _