The Festival of Life Chords by Kevin Bloody Wilson

_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Ah, [G] the festival of life is [D] trying to save my fucking soul
They don't want me drinking piss [D] or screwing around no more
They got fucking buckley's chance I'm giving [C] you to score
Still the festival of life keep trying to save my [G] fucking soul
_ _ _ _ It's saturday afternoon at [D] last, it's what you've waited for all week
Relax and put the feet up, [G] turn the footy on TV
You're expecting Vernon and Bluey round, [C] they'll probably stay all night
[D] A couple of mates and a couple of beers, oh Christ [G] this is the life
_ Well, here they are already, you [A] just heard the car door slam
You wedge yourself out of your [D] chair, get up to let them in
But it's some wanker that you've never met with a briefcase in his hand
[A] Some prick just out of bible school who thinks he's God's [G] right hand
Ah, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [F#] the festival [G] of life keeps trying to [A] save my fucking soul
They don't want [D] me drinking piss or screwing around no more
They got [G] fucking buckley's [C] chance I'm giving you to score
[D] Still the festival of life keep trying to save my fucking [G] soul _ _ _ _
[D] I'm Elder Robbins and he's Elder Pike and we'd like to talk to you all
About eternal salvation, won't [G] take but a minute or more
We got a book we think you all should read about how you all should [C] live
My, what a charming home you all have, you all [F#] mind if we come in?
[G] _
_ Well I'd love to bite you in, you [D] know, but the joint's a fucking mess
And there's an orgy raging in the lounge and every cunt's undressed
And I'd love you to meet the Mrs.
Shirl, but she's a bit crook in bed
[A] She says she's got a real sore throat [D] from giving too much head
_ [N] Ah, _ _ _ _ _
_ [F#] the [D] festival of life keeps trying to save my fucking soul
They don't want me drinking piss or screwing around no more
[F#] They got [G] fucking buckley's chance [C] I'm giving you to score
Still [D] the festival of life keeps trying to [F#] save my fucking soul
_ _ _ _ _ All [D] snuggled up on Sunday morning and you wake up with a horn
You grab the Mrs.
on the [G] ass, oh Christ she feels so warm
The scene is set, the mood's just [C] right, you're about to slip it in
[Dm] _ Then_
there's that fucking door again!
_ [G] _ _ _
_ _ _ Good [D] morning sir, did I get you up?
Sorry, I'm David and this is Pam
We're missionaries who've come to talk of man's eternal plan
[A] And to discuss the holy future and [C] reflect the holy past
So you [D] flash your dick and scream, I'll only shove this up your arse!
[G] _ Up your arsehole, up your [F#] arsehole, up your arsehole
Ah, the festival of life keeps trying to save my fucking soul
They don't want me drinking piss or screwing around no more
They [G] got fucking buckley's chance I'm giving [C] you to score
Still the [D] festival of life keeps trying to save my [F#] fucking soul
[G] Well _ _ _
[D] it's not like it's just once or twice, [A] it's every damn weekend
Now [F#] how'd you think they'd like it if we'd [G] done the same to them?
You know, turn up on their doorstep at a time [C] they least expect
And [A] try and ram our way of life [D] down their fucking necks _
Just imagine for a minute the reception that you'd get
With a couple of stickbooks in your hand and a carton on the steps
And your Mrs.
chewing chewing gum in a [D] really low cut dress
And you in thongs and overalls, you know, your fucking Sunday best _
Up your arsehole, up your arsehole, up your arsehole
Ah, the festival of life keeps trying to save my fucking soul
They don't want me drinking piss or screwing around no more
They got [G] fucking buckley's chance [C] I'm giving you to score
[D] Still the festival of life keeps trying to save my fucking soul
[G] _ _ _ _ _ G'day, we're pissed up testy [E] costacles, I'm Kevin and this is Sherl
We come to introduce you cunts to a whole new fucking world
We come to preach the good news, [C] we think it's what you need to hear
We'll [D] show you more fun in five minutes than you've had all fucking [Gm] year
_ Now you [D] sweetheart can come with [D] me and I'll teach you how to sin
And Sister Sherl, old son, will suck your salve until your head caves in
Oh shit, your Mrs.
just fainted [C] so we won't bother coming in
[D] We'll just piss off back to our place, just drop ten [F#] bucks in the tin
_ [G] _ [G] Ah, _ _ _ _ _ [F#] the [D] festival of life [D] keeps trying to save my fucking soul
[C#] [D] They don't want me drinking piss or screwing around no more
They got fucking [Gm] buckley's [G] chance I'm giving [C] you to score
[D] Still the festival of life keeps trying to save my fucking [G] soul
Ah, the festival of life keeps [D] trying to save my fucking soul
They don't want me drinking piss or screwing around no more
They got fucking [C] buckley's chance I'm giving you to score
_ _ [N] _