Chords for Straight Edge Doesn't Work

_ _ So what I need to do here right now is clarify that [F#] I think if you're a person
[G#] who's not an alcoholic, I think straight edge is probably a great thing for you. _
[F#] But I think if you're a person [A#] who has a problem with drugs and alcohol, you have
absolutely no business whatsoever trying to use straight edge as the means [F] for
treating that condition.
So I wrote a song about [G#] it and it's kind of weird
because it's kind of rude.
I think it's funny [E] but it's really kind of rude.
But
anyway, _ see if I can play it.
I just really like [D#] it.
It's a little tricky.
[Dm] So this song is
called Straight Edge Doesn't Work.
[Bm] _
_ [G#] _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _
_ _ _ [B] _ _ _ I don't mean to [E] be an [F#] asshole.
[B] Yes I do.
_ And I don't [G#] mean to be a jerk.
But [B] I am what I am, what I am, what I am.
If you're a [A] real alcoholic like me, _ _ then [E] straight edge just doesn't work.
Doesn't work, doesn't work.
So that begs the question, [F#] how do we qualify what's a [B] real alcoholic? _
And I think I've got it figured out for us.
[F#] _ _ _ [Em] Have you ever found yourself mixing milk and gasoline [F#] because it's [B] after 2am?
[E] Have you ever came to an embark train at the end of the line and found [F#] that you have shit yourself?
[E] Have you ever grabbed a bottle [G#] of Jack off the shelf, [F#] ran in the bathroom and downed it
[B] as much as you can before [E] the security guard calls you up?
[B] Does anyone know a damn?
_ _ [C#] _ _ [B] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [E] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [B] I don't mean to [E] be an asshole.
[C#] Now that I'm taking anatomy I know it's called a [B] synchro sound.
_ [C#m] And I [E] don't mean to be [F#] a jerk.
[B] But I am what I am.
[C#] And if you're a real addict [F#] like I am, [B] like I am,
[C#] _ [E] straight edge just [F#] doesn't work.
[B] Doesn't work, [E] doesn't work.
And again, we're left with the [C#] question, how do we [B] qualify what's a real [E] addict?
_ _ [F#] So let's see here. _
[E] Have you ever found yourself injecting no-dose [F#] Andramamine?
[B] Cause you ain't got no [E] dope and if one feels good, do you take 13?
[F#] Is [B] your life completely [E] devoid of hope?
Have you ever had to drink the liquid [F#] charcoal in the emergency room?
[Em] Have you ever come to consciousness [G#] and found a room full of paramedics [B] looking down at you? [E] Who _ _ [C#] understands?
[B] _
_ [E] _ _ Who [F#] understands?
_ [B] _
_ [E] In all honesty, I'm sure [B] it's a great way to form a healthy [C#] identity.
If you're growing up in a scene [B] where everyone is sick as hell,
[E] but I found myself hanging out, having a conversation with [G#] Ian McCain about [F] sobriety.
And it occurred [F#] to me, he doesn't have this lightest fucking [B] idea about my good deeds.
Straight [E] edge doesn't work.
_ _ [F#] _ [B] I know, I'm just taking [E] a picture.
_ _ _ [F#] _ _ [B] _ _
[E] And nonetheless, I have this bizarre inclination to get this giant tattoo on my back.
I think, I'm not sure, I think.
_ But it's gonna say,
I _ _ don't [F#] drink,
_ [B] _
_ [E] _ [A] I don't smoke,
[F#] _ _ [B] _
_ [E] I don't fuck,
_ [F#] _ _ [B] _
_ [E] At least I can fuck [F#] and pee.
[B] _
_ [E] Dem teep up, I, dem teep [F#] up, I, dem teep [B] up, I,
[E] I'll step _ [F#] with the world.
[B] _ _ [E] _ [F#] _ _ [G#] _ _ _ _
_ _ [E] _ _ _ _ _ [F#] _
_ [C#] _ _ [N] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _