Chords for Soap Bar

Can I have a look at your mobile phone please?
Document number 3
Hi Clare, how you doing Spaz?
Let's have a look at your mobile phone here, it's fucking posh innit?
Yeah, I got it from
Play to Ourselves Phones
It's got 3 ringtones, that's the name for the ring
There's this one, right, hang [G] on
_ _ Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
[N] That's fucking safe Spaz
Yeah, right, there's this one, right
Duh _ _ [G] _ _ duh duh
That's the theme tune from Bullseye
[E] But mostly, I bought it for this
Check this one [C] out Clare
I found a new hole in my tracksuit [Bb] today
[D] Smoking soap bar without an ashtray
Bed's hard nylon
Dripping on my [Bb] skin
[D] I ripped the fucker off and threw it in [F] the bin
Soap bar's cheap and so's my [Bb] clothes
They gotta be cause of all the Fucking holes
It tastes like shit and it makes you cough
And it's [G] the fucking rubber in it that gets you off
Yeah I smoke soap bar with lots of
Bits [Bb] of plastic [D] and it leaves mine in it
Cause it tastes fantastic, it's gonna cost
Too much, I can't see the [Bb] appeal
Love [D] smoking port rocky, soap bar or [F] gold seal
Smoke rocky in a bong
Bucket of [Bb] hot knives, [C] bacon in a cake
For your mamma's a [F] surprise
I smoke screen and it's gone in an [Bb] instant
But soap bar lasts cause it's fucking [F] consistent
Smoking on em
Soap bar in [Bb] the sky
I smoke soap bar till I fucking [F] die
Before I die I'm gonna need a [Bb] rest
I'm gonna smoke soap bar
That's a [F] mess
Last night I went out driving in my car
I sparked up a fat split of fucking [F] soap bar
A blim burn burnt my down to my [Bb] dick
[D] And while I was distracted
I fucking [F] crashed into a brick wall
The car was fucking [Bb] battered
[C] The bonnet flipped up and the windscreen [F] shattered
You're better off smoking the green [Bb] instead
Cause [G] it don't blim burn
And it's better for your [F] head
Soap bar, sitting in a [Bb] deep sweat
[C] Thinking I gotta get some [F] rocky for the weekend
The side of the drawer [Bb] excites me
Sticking it in [D] a bong
Light it up and [F] chug a fucking whitey
Burning alls in my [Bb] traggy
This shit always happens when I smoke it fucking rocky
You heard it on the news, you seen it on the telly
I'd up for moving [D] soap bar
Then fucking leave [F] sweary
I _
_ _ [Bb] used to smoke skunky
But it was fine, it was [F] smelly man
Smoking on em
Soap bar in [Bb] the sky
I smoke soap bar till I fucking [F] die
Before I die I'm gonna need a [Bb] rest
I'm gonna smoke soap bar
That's [F] a mess
Soap bar comes from [Bb] fucking Holland
They [D] make it out of oil and tyres and [F] pollen
Diesel, [D] Mirabar, Flat Press [Bb] 2
[D] These are types of soap bar available to you
[F] These little bits of plastic you find [Bb] inside
[C] You can use those as a quality [F] guide
The standard of soap bar that you are [Bb] smoking
The more bits [D] of plastic means the better the token
He's a hash king
Boo it [Bb] a while
[D] It'll take a better now
A range of physical
[F] You can burn it, eat it or smoke it in a [Bb] spiff
[D] Speech, extra, gattoes
You know it, Dean Smith
Lying in your bed, dropping flims on your [Bb] pubes
[C] Selling draw to your mates
But it's really [F] oxy-cubes when you're cooking em sure
Be quick [Bb] don't linger
Cause it's [D] really fucking hot and it'll burn your fingers
This bloke said to me
You haven't got [Bb] a clue about [C] the damage
The soap bar can do to [F] you
I tried to [D] see things from his point of [Bb] view
But I couldn't fit my head up his asshole [F] too
The bloke was wrong
I knows my [Bb] stuff
I knows if I smoke it I'm gonna feel [F] rough
My lungs are [C] fucked and my throat is [Bb] raw
Cause the [C] thing about soap bar is it's fucking [F] hardcore
Smoking on a soap bar in [Bb] the sky
I smoke soap bar till I fucking [F] die
Before I die I'm gonna leave it to the [Bb] rest
But I smoke soap bar as [F] a bitch
Well anyway I think it's better myself
[Bb] To eat more than what's on the soap bar
[F] So you're less like you're a blimp
[Bb] You [C] know what I mean
Check it out man
[F] I've got some quality fucking long seal for you innit
[Bb] See the red ball everywhere
It's a plastic one
Like this [F] old one
And then you stick em in a teapot
[Bb] And then you look like a steelhead
What do you do?
You stick a fag in [F] a microwave
Or you cook it up and you stick the throttle on [Bb] top
And you [C] rams in a bottle and you rams a bottle in your [F] fucking head
Yeah that's right
My fucking lungs feel [Bb] like they're fucking collapsing
Sometimes from the [E] soap bar like you know