Chords for Rototron Cornbobber - Sargasm

Do you [Gb] love corn?
Sure, we [Gbm] all do.
But these [D] days, who has the time [B] for it?
When was the [E] last time you were able to [A] sit down and truly enjoy a tasty [D] yellow ear of it?
[E] Even if you did get a [G] chance, what about all those aches [Gm] and pains?
What about eating [Gbm] corn on a bus?
Does this scene look [B] familiar?
[Em] These days, eating corn on the go, well, [Bm] it's just not an option.
In fact, most people are too frightened [A] by our stop-and-go lifestyle to give corn the significant role it deserves in our lives. Until now.
[Cm] After decades of [C] research at Kitchen and Ventex, Inc.,
the Rototron Corn Bobber is finally here.
Using [G] space-age technology, the [C] Rototron Corn Bobber turns your average ear of [G] corn into a sophisticated, _ [C]
epicurean delight.
All those back pains and suffering?
[G] Kiss them goodbye.
Eating corn on a [Am] bus?
No problem.
Heading to [F] the gym?
Well, corn will finally [C] find a spot in your active lifestyle.
[G] And the best part is, with the [Am] Rototron Corn Bobber, corn won't come between [F] you, your friends, and having a [Am] great time.
_ _ [G] _
_ _ _ [F] _ _ _ _ [C] _
_ [G] _ _ [Bb] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ [D] Welcome to Incredible Inventions.
I'm Ricky Lacks, and I have a confession.
I love corn.
These days, who doesn't?
Well, I'm here with [N] Noel Eiffenberg, who says he's found a new and exciting way of eating and enjoying corn.
_ _ _ Now, what would you say if I told you there's a brand new way of eating corn without all the fuss and must?
Without all the fuss and must?
I'd tell you you were crazy.
_ Well, [Eb] you know, I just might be.
But decide after I show you this.
_ The Rototron [C] Corn Bobber.
The Rototron Corn Bobber what?
The Rototron Corn Bobber.
Do you want to know how this works?
What do you think, guys?
Do you want to know how it works?
[A] I think that's a [N] yes, Gnome.
Now, wait just a minute, Gnome.
Because when I think of corn, I think of one thing.
And that's Mr.
Headache Medicine.
What are you talking about?
I don't even know.
But back to the corn.
Oh, yes.
Now, before we begin, does this look familiar [G] to you?
It sure does.
And let me tell you, I made vomit all over it.
Right there and in this area right [Gb] here.
Do you guys know what I'm talking [N] about? _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ Now, _ _ does this remind you of anything?
Oh, no.
Prickled fingers and prickled toes.
You know what?
Frankly, I can't even open this properly.
How are you supposed to?
_ I _ _ _ _ don't know how to handle this.
Do you?
I think we should give these traditional holders a chance.
_ _ _ _ [B] _ _ _
_ Hey, um_
[Am] It doesn't even work.
[B] _
[B] _ They're not even ergonomically suited for each other.
It's like trying to stick a fork into an egg.
[Gm] You see, with my product, the Rudotron Corn Bobber, corn is amazing.
[D] Oh, Gnome.
I [F] get it.
No, you don't.
You see, there's only three simple steps involved.
_ _ [Bb] Penetrate, [Eb] _
rotate, [G] and enjoy.
_ _ _ [N] _
_ _ _ _ _ All you need is a pair of pliers _ to retrieve the little knob from your corn cob.
_ It's also an [Bm] apple bobber.
[N] Is that just your clever way of telling me it works with apples, too?
Yes, and it's also a pear bobber.
_ _ _ An onion bobber.
_ _ _ _ _ A yam. _ _ _ _ _ _
A broccoli bobber.
_ _ _ A lettuce _ bobber.
_ [G] _ _ _ _
_ [Bb] _ _ [N] _ _ A corny _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ bagel _ bobber. _ _
_ _ And when was the last time you and your kids shared a cucumber-sickle? _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _ [C] _
_ _ _ It allows me to have one free hand so I can eat my steak and my salad and [G] everything else.
This works great.
[C] Go get it.
That corn [G] is really, really good for your body or for [C] your stomach.
It's the best that you can [G] eat in your life.
Instead of having [Am] to hold the corn this way and eat it, you can [F] just catch it.
You know what I'm saying?
[C] _ You hold the butter [G] as it's going like this.
Yes, you can tuck it [Am] in your mouth.
Every single [F] part.
I think it's a great product.
It's [Am] the best thing I've ever used for eating [G] corn on the cob.
Better than what I used [F] to have as a kid.
Oh, this is [G] the most wonderful product.
[Am] I love it [G] every time.
I [F] will do this again.
[G] _
_ _ [N] _ _ _ _ Are you impressed?
I'm very impressed, but, Noam, I gotta ask you.
How much?
Let me tell you.
You know, a set like this sometimes costs, what, $1,000?
$1,000 sounds about right.
Yes.
You know what?
I'm not gonna charge you $1,000.
$1,000 is a bargain.
Yes.
I'm not even gonna charge you $500.
Not $500?
Not even $100.
Not even $100?
Not even $80.
Not even $80?
That's right.
You know, with this, _
[Eb] I'm gonna be charging $59 [N].94.
What a _ deal. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ That's right, Ricky.
But keep in mind, you're not just getting the Rototrom Corn Bobber.
You're getting a comprehensive corn consumption system,
which includes the Rototrom Corn Bobber,
_ _ an instructional video,
_ _ _ a booklet full of 2,000 corn recipes,
_ _ _ and a second instructional video.
Now, folks, if you call within the next minute,
I will slap in a second Rototrom Corn Bobber for Ray
and for Cotton Corn.
_ _ [C] Well, Noam, I'm convinced. _ _ _ _ _
Join us next time at your [Cm] incredible adventure. _ _ _
_ _ Order now. _ _ _
[C] _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ [C] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [Ab] Slap in a [Eb] second Rototrom Corn Bobber for Ray
and [Gm] for Cotton Corn.
_ _ Well, Noam, [C] I'm convinced.
_ _ _ [Cm] _ _ Join us next time at your [C] incredible adventure. _ _ _ _ _
Order [Cm] now.
_ _ _ [C] _ _ [G] _