Chords for rodney carrington don't tell my wife

_ _ _ [D] _ [A] _ _ _ [C] _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ I had a strip club down in Dallas
_ [C] after one too many [G] shots
_ [C] Yeah, the go-go girl [G] named Alice
[Cm] Who seemed to [A] like me [D] an awful lot?
[E] _ She [G] said do [D] you have [Gm] any money?
I've [C] got a pocket
_ [Gm] full of change I
[C] Got a checkbook in [G] my Plymouth.
[E] Oh
[A] That's [D] in [G] Tammy's name
She [Em] _ said well if you want to take this any further big boy
[D] You need to run out to your [E] car _ _
[F#] [E] Write me a check [Em] for a thousand bucks [Cm] and [A] they'll cash it at [D] the bar _
_ _ _ [G] Don't tell my wife we did that [C] she don't know [G] where I've been
She don't know I sneak off to [A] these places with my friends [G] if she found out she killed me
The [C] other second I [G] walked in [C] she don't tell my [G] wife get that [A] girl if you ever want to do [G] it again _ _ _ _
On a pontoon boat down in Padre _
[C] And I have shirt [G] and a phone _
[C] with a jug of good [G] tequila _
And [A] a scooby-doo [D] water bomb _
[G] There were wet t [D]-shirt
[G] _ contestants [C] why they were showing skin [D] for win I _
[C] _ Pulled off [Gm] my shirt [E] and thong [A] and I splashed [D] my way [G] right in _ _
[E] _ Now here I stand and knee-deep [Em] water _
[D] _ Naked and out [Em] of shape _ [G] and [E] the girls gone [Em] wild.
They're all gone now
But [A] they've got it [D] all on tape _ _
_ _ [G] Don't tell my wife we did that
[C] She don't know where [G] I've been
She don't know I sneak off to [A] these places with [D] my friends [G] if she found out she killed me
[C] Yeah, the second I [G] walked in
So [C] don't you tell my [G] wife get that [A] boys if you ever want to do [G] it again
_ _ [E] _ _
_ _ _ I
the casino in
[A] Vegas _ [D] I
Was hammered at a [A] slot machine
_ _ [D]
when a cocktail [A] waitress gave me a
[B] local hotspot
_ _ [Em] magazine _
_ [A] on the back
[E] there [A] was a coupon _ where [D] the per a
_ [A]
perforated tab
_ [D] free drinks at the _
[A] Golden-wiener [F#] what [B] hell I hopped [E] myself a [A] cab what I did.
_ _ _ [F#] _
Oh
Well, it's [F#m] dark in there [E] and them girls
_ [F#m] Yeah, they're hard to find.
[G#] _
[F#m] I
Got real scared and I tried to run but [B] them boys got me [E] from behind _ _
_ _ _ [A] _ Don't tell [F] my wife we [G] did that
[F#m] _ Don't tell no one I did that
[D] They don't know [A] where I've been
They don't know I sneak off to [B] these places [F#] without my friends
[A] If they found out they left [D] me at the second and I [A] walked in
[D] So don't you tell no one I [F#] did that Lord.
[B] I ain't never gonna do it [A] again
I don't [D] you tell no one [A] that I did that [F#] Lord.
I [B] ain't never
[E] ever ever gonna do [A] it [C#] again _
[D] _ _ _ [E] You
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _ _