Chords for Queer Things - Ruth Wallis

_ _ _ _ [Am] _ _ _ [B]
[Am] We got [Dm] married in [E] the spring [Am] to prove it, [D] here's my [E] wedding ring.
[Dm] I always think [Eb] of my [Bb] blushing groom [E] whenever I [A] see the pansies bloom.
Oh no!
_ [E] Say it cannot [Eb] be, [E] weird things [A] are happening to [Abm] me.
[Gb] A groom should [Dm] bring his [E] bride some [Am] joy, a boy's [D] supposed to [E] be a [Dm] boy.
I told him [B] about the [F] birds and [E] bees, but [N] he still wears those pink shimmies.
[A] Oh no!
_ [E] Say it cannot [Gbm] be, [E] _ weird [Am] things are happening to me.
_ _ _ His hair is [Dm] curly [E] as can [Am] be, he uses [Dm] curlers [E] just like [Dm] me.
When I find [Ebm] lipstick [Dm] on his [E] tie, he says there's no other woman so it must be a [Eb] guy.
Oh no!
[E] _
Quelle tragédie, [Gm] _ [E] _ weird things [Am] are happening to [Gbm] me.
[Gb] He's so [D] big and [E] he's so [F] strong, I can't figure [Dm] out where he [E] went [Dm] wrong.
Must have got [Eb] caught right [Dm] in between, [E] his [N] name is Chris, it ought to be Christie.
Oh [A] no! _
[E] Say it cannot [Gm] be, [E] queer things [Am] are happening to me.
_ _ _ [E] _
[Am] _ _ _ _ [Am] He's never [Dm] been to [E] gay Paris, [Am] but he is [D] gay as he [E] can be.
[Dm] His friends are [Eb] sweet, they're the [Dm] queerest [E] band.
They're turning my [Bm] home into a [A] fairyland.
Oh no!
_ [E]
Oh what a tragedy, [G] _ [Abm] [E] queer things [Am] are happening to me.
[Ab] [Am] We went one [Dm] night to a [E]
[Am] masquerade, and I dressed [Dm] up like a [E] poly maid.
[Dm] Everyone knew [Ebm] it was me [Dm] right away, [E] but no one knew he [N] was the Queen of the May.
Oh [A] no! _
[B] Woodman [E] spare that [Eb] tree, [E] queer things [Am] are happening to me. _ _ _ _
Whenever [Dm] we go [E] out to [Am] dine, I buy him [Dm] pheasant and [E] apricot [Dm] wine.
But he says [Ebm] no, what [Dm] can I [E] do?
He doesn't want to [Eb] try anything that's new.
Oh [A] no!
Marron, [E] say it cannot [Bm] be, [Abm] [E] queer things [Am] are happening to me.
While I was walking down the aisle, his friends all [Dm] stood [E] around and [Dm] smiled.
I found out [Ebm] why, and it [Bb] hurts my [E] pride.
They knew he liked the [Abm] best man better than the [Am] bride.
Oh no!
_ [E] No it cannot be, queer things [A] are happening to [Dm] me.
[Am] _ _ _ [E] _ [Am] _ _ _ _
[A] I've [D] decided it [Gb] cannot be, I'm not for him [Dm] and he's [E] not for me.
[Dm] He can do what he wants [Ebm] and I'll do [B] what I [E] can, but the both of us [N] have got to [Am] get on my case.
_ _ [Bb] _ [E] _ _ [A] _ _