Chords for Plastic Jesus (03/14/14 Nashville, TN)

_ [F] I am a mother of [C] two, and this is the end of the story. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [F] _ _ _ [N] I'm not going to do this.
_ [B] _ _ _ [E] Uh, _ who's going to play this first?
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_ _ _ _ _ Well I don't care if it rains or [F] freezes, as long as I've got my plastic [C] Jesus
riding on the [G] dashboard of my car.
_ _ [C] With all the trials and tribulations, we [F] will travel every nation.
[C] With my [G] Jesus, yeah I'll go far.
_ And we'll ride him through the thoroughfare with [F] his nose right up there in the air.
[C] The wreck might be a hit, but he [G] don't mind. _
He had trouble coming, but he don't see.
[F] He just keeps his plastic eyes on [C] me, and any [G] other thing [C] right behind. _ _
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Yeah, now you know God made Christ a holy Jew, [F] made him a Christian too.
_ Paradoxes populate my [G] car, _
_ _ [C] Joseph claims in faith to land.
[F] From the shaggy dashed fur [C] line van, James [G] Cuckold in master [C] plan. _
Yeah, right there's Naughty Mary, snug and [F] smiling.
Jesus diddy and a [C] gulling, me deep in the piling of [G] my [C] van.
_ World message clear, night or day, [F] my phosphorescent plastic [C] gaze,
simpering [G] on the dashboard [C] of my van.
Yeah, plastic Jesus, [F] plastic Jesus, _ [C] riding on the dashboard [Gm] of my car.
_ With [C] all the trials and [F] tribulations, we will travel every [C] nation.
With my [G] plastic Jesus, [C] I'll go far.
Take it there.
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[F] _ _ [C] _ _ _ _ [Gm] _ _
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_ Oh, when I find myself in a traffic [F] jam, he don't care if I [C] say damn.
I let all curses just [G] roll.
_ _ [C] Plastic Jesus, he [F] doesn't care, because he's sporting a plastic [C] ear.
The man [G] who invented plastic [C] saved my soul.
Yeah, now you know you [C] can buy a sweet [F] Madonna, dressed in rhinestones,
sitting [C] on a pedestal of that [G] lonely shell.
_ [C] I'll go in 90, I'm not [F] scared, because I got a Virgin [C] Mary.
Virgin Mary, [G] I won't [C] go to hell.
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You know I don't care if I'm so [F] jostled.
I got [F] 12 [C] apostles, holding to the dashboard of [G] my car. _
_ [C] Yeah, don't I show up, I have spent [Cm] such a crowd of [C] holiness,
strung across [G] the dashboard of my [C] car. _
Yeah, I don't care if it's dark and scary.
[F] I got a Magnetic Mary, Lord, serving the dashboard of my [G] car.
And I'm feeling unprotected and [F] blameless.
I got the whole holy family riding, [F#] riding on the dashboard [C] of my car.
Plastic Jesus, Plastic [F] Jesus, _ riding on the dashboard [G] of my car. _
[C] When I'm bottomless road with snowy [F] white, it isn't [Dm] quite so bright.
[C] Stained by [G] the smoke of my [C] cigar.
_ Lord, Plastic Jesus, Plastic _ Jesus, _
[C] riding on the dashboard of my [G] car.
_ If you're [C] on a trial and tribulation, we'll travel every nation.
Give my Plastic Jesus, I'll go far.
If _ you're on a trial and [F] tribulation, we'll travel [C] every nation.
Give my [G] Plastic Jesus, I'll go [Cm] far. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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