Chords for Piano Teacher teaches disguised Pro Musician

I know, if you show me, because I'm on my lunch break.
You know UPS delivery?
_ _ UPS delivery?
_ Yes, but I'm doing this_
Right, so D.
Which way is the right hand? _ _
_ Just the right hand.
_ So, start with D.
[Eb] _ _ See, [Db] that 1 means you're part.
[Bb] Put your thumb on D.
_ [N] On D.
_ That's D.
Are you counting? _ _
[D] You _ _ [Gm] see, it tells you.
1.
1 is your thumb.
I've got it, I've got it.
You're using your second finger.
Oh, it's got me what?
He _ says 3 there. _ _ _ _
_ That's a G note.
That's your third finger.
So, look.
_ Put your thumb there.
[D] _ What, [Gm] there?
_ And after you play that [D] note,
your third finger on G. _
[Bb] I've got it.
_ _ Can you just hum the melody for me?
_ [G] That's one note.
You've got to hold that for two beats. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[Em] See, [Dm] _ watch [C] me.
Take [N] your hands off.
_ _ _ [Gm] _ _ _ I've got it wrong.
_ _ [Dm] _ _ _ [D] I do, I've got it wrong.
[Gm] _ _ _ _ _ [G]
I've got it.
I'm messing with you.
I'm like a bag of nerves right now.
_ I'm like, I kind of know it.
I kind of know it.
I've got it.
_ _ You know where your G is?
You know _ _ _ _ _ _ where your G is?
[D] Put your thumb [C] there. _
_ That's it.
[G] _ _ _
That's it?
Put your thumb there.
Play that first.
[Ab] I don't play [Gm] your G afterwards.
[G] I mean your third finger. _
_ So I've got to be in the agreement.
Put _ _ _ your thumb there.
Put your thumb there.
Play that. _
[Gm] And then your third finger on G.
I'm all of the quibbling.
_ I'm here with two piano experts.
I've been doing something wrong.
[C] _ _ _ _ I can't play [Gm] by ear.
I can just play by ear.
[G] _ _
I can play it properly.
I [Gm] can play it right, but I can't play it properly.
I was going to do something wrong.
_ [D] _
_ That's [G] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
not it.
_ [C] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It's out of tune as well, isn't it?
Yeah. _ _
_ [Bm] _ _ _ _ _ _ [Gb] _
_ _ _ _ _ [Bm] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
It's [D] not going.
_ [G] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [C] _ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _
_ _ _ [C] _ _ [G] _ _ [Am] _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _ [D] _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [C] _
_ _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ [D] _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _
_ It's out of tune.
_ _ [D] _
_ _ _ _ [Gb] _ _ _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [B] _ It's out of tune.
I can't play by heart.
_ [C] _
_ _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ [D] _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ [Gm] _
_ _ [D] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [G] _ _ [B] I can't.
_ _ [E] _ _ _ I _
_ _ _ _ [Ab] _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [B] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [E] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [B] _ _ _ _ _ [A] _ _
[Dbm] _ _ [Gb] _ _ _ [E] _ don't do part of the music,
but that's the only thing.
You're playing, man.
I [N] don't do the songs.
You're playing on, man.
_ _ _ Watch _ it.
[Bb] Get yourself a simple composition.
Where's [N] that song?
I've got this.
_ _ Do you know this one?
_ _ That's what you can get there, you see.
You know that beat, don't you?
You see, there's three beats there.
It's in [Eb] three-point time.
One, two, three.
You hold that for the beat of three.
_ It's a dotted minute.
[N] _
You _ hold that for two beats.
And that for one part, you see.
And then you're playing the other.
_ I think I'll hopefully [E] be so helpful. _
_ I can play _ _ _ [N]
by ear,
but I can't play with the voice.
I'll be here this time next week
for another lesson. _ _ _
[Gm] _ Can't take it again. I'm Brendan. _
Go on, do another bit.
I think you've got a bit there.
Just I didn't get the dots right.
_ _ And also, also,