Chords for Not The Way To Get Laid - Leslie Fish

_ _ _ _ [A] _ _ [E] _ _
[A] _ _ [E] _ _ Listen [B] and I'll tell [D] you [E] how it's done.
[A] If you [B] want a [D] woman, learn [A] from one.
_ Don't [C] assume this is all [F] for your fun.
These [E] are awful ways to get [F] laid.
_ _ _ [Am] _
Put it on the internet.
[A] I will. _ _ _
You have my permission to put it on the internet.
_ _ _ Listen first, don't [E] ignore [D] that measuring [B] tape.
And chow [A] down till you lose your shape.
Cause nobody [C] bets [Em] with moldy [F] grapes.
[A] But it's [E] awful way to get [A] laid.
_ [E] _ _
[G] _ _ [A] _ _ [Dm] Don't play the cool, [F] sophisticated.
_ To prove how [D] smart you are.
[A] _ [D] Telling all your kinky [F] _
_ [E] fantasies.
Just won't get you very far.
_ _ [F] _ _ [G] _ _
[Em] _ _ [A] Don't skip [B] washing.
[D] Do it [E] well.
_ Don't let [D] the laundry [A] go to hell.
Don't make [C] the women [D] like the [F] smell.
Cause [E] it's awful way to [B] get laid. _
_ _ [A] _ And when [Bm] some babe [D] comes [E] into view.
Don't let [D] hormones speak [A] for [B] you.
Or start [C] by saying, [E] I let's [F] screw.
Cause it's awful way [B] to get laid.
_ _ _ _ [A] _ _
[F] Don't pour your life story [A] out on [D] every [A] TV.
_ [C] _ _ [A] Let's [Dm] get real, your [F] life is a bore.
[E] Or else you would be here.
_ _ [F] _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ [A] Don't be [Bm] gross when [A] you begin.
_ Or tell what [Bm] girls you like of thin.
Or brag [C] of where your tongue [F] has been.
[Am] Cause it's [A] awful way to get laid.
_ _ _ _ _ _ [Em] Don't presume they [Dm] love [B] your bod.
That [C] your dick [D] is a holy [A] rod.
Or that [C] your feelings are [E] the word of [F] God.
[E] Oh this is awful way to [B] get laid.
_ _ _ [A] _ Face it, no [D] one's gonna [F] nail your bend.
[A] Just [D] because you're you.
_ _ [Dm] Nobody cares what [F] you think or feel.
Unless you give [E] em.
_ _ _ _ [F] _ _ [E] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [Dm] _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _ [E] _
_ _ [A] _ _ [Em] _ _ [E] _ _
[F] _ _ [Gm] _ _ [E] _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [E] _
Cause if you talk [Bm] and act [D] like a dirty [Am] schmo. _
Look [G] and smell like [D] a bumble.
[A] _
[C#] Many of us are all [G] _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
[C] _ _ [E] _ _ _ _ babies.
[E] _ Grow up baby [Dm] and don't [C] say maybe.
Or [E] else you'll never get [B] laid. _
_ _ [Am] _ _ _ _ _ [A#] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _