Chords for NADINE'S run in with the LAW

_ [C] But, [A] speaking of calm, [F] _
[C] just kick it open.
Do it every time.
How you doing, Nadine?
Well, honey, any day above the flower bed is a good day.
That's right.
That's right. _
Of course, Tartar would help you plant that flower bed.
Yeah, I quit planting a long time ago.
Why?
I got other things to do.
Oh.
_ Well, that certainly helps our sponsor.
Eat cows.
Eat [C#] cake and pies.
Well, I love Ann.
Hey, Ann's newlywed.
I'm going to meet her after the show and give her some marital advice.
Oh, I want to listen in on that one.
How you doing, Gene?
Look at you.
We just saw you and Branson not long ago.
Boy, did we have fun or what?
We did, didn't we?
Have we been on that cruise yet?
[N] Did we have fun there?
_ _ _ If we haven't, we're going to have fun.
That one's over with, though.
We've got another one to look forward to.
Well, I didn't know if we'd been on that one yet or not.
Oh, yeah.
We've been to Alaska already.
Oh, okay.
We've been to Alaska.
Oh, and it was so much fun.
You was funny.
I'm telling you, you were good.
You won a bunch of money, didn't you?
I was funny?
Well, you are funny.
Funny money.
You are funny.
Nobody out here knows it, but_
Don't start talking about winning.
_ _ I think Mo won quite a bit that night.
Don't start talking about winning.
I'm not talking about Mo. _ _ _ _
_ Well, I ain't going to talk about that then.
You know what?
I was watching TV this morning.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? _ _ _ _
No.
And you know something else I found out?
What?
That women that carry a little extra weight live longer than the men that mention it.
Yeah.
_ Yeah.
But the one that gets me_
Oh, I didn't know we had this. _
Yeah, go ahead.
It's just five bucks a piece.
That's right.
I know the owner. _
Yeah, so do I.
_ Do you know that_
You know, you make me do this all the time.
You screw me up.
_ Oh, yeah.
I just wanted some coconut_
I remember now.
Go ahead.
I was going to ask Keith about this.
Yes.
It said on there this morning that four out of five people have diarrhea. Mm-hmm.
Does that mean that one out of the five enjoy it?
_ They said they suffer from it.
Why are you asking me that question is what I want to know.
Well, you're the one that knows of everything.
You're the one that knows everything in here.
I don't know how to answer that question.
Okay, well, we won't.
Don't worry about it.
You've caught me unaware here.
Because I want to tell you something else.
I just thought about this.
Gene Watson, at all these cruises we're on,
all these women are out there shouting and screaming and carrying on.
I mean, they're up in the balcony and they're just waving and screaming.
You're right in the middle of it.
And it never bothered me until I had to do a show.
And ain't one guy in that audience got up and jumped around and screamed and hollered at me.
_ Gene, we'll have to go sit in the audience one day and watch her shout and scream for her.
I'll pay you.
I'll pay you to do it.
You ought to just see what goes on backstage when you're out there just for my guys.
Oh, I love your guys.
They love you too.
I love him.
I got to tell you all what happened to me last weekend.
Me and Homer went down to Birmingham to visit some relatives.
And I was driving because he don't see well.
And we were speeding down the highway and the cops stopped us.
The highway patrol stopped us.
And I pulled over.
And, you know, I don't hear as good as I used to.
Yeah, I don't.
And then when you roll the window down and all that traffic going by, flying by.
I couldn't hear him real good.
And he said, Lady, do you know you're speeding?
And I couldn't hear him.
I said, Homer, what did he say?
He said, he said you're speeding.
I said, yeah, I realize that now.
And he said, let me see your license.
And I looked at him.
I said, what did he say?
He wants to see your license.
So he looked at my license and he said, oh, I see you're from Tennessee.
He said, I was there one day and I dated this woman.
And I think she was about the ugliest woman I ever met.
And I looked at Homer and I said, what did he say?
He said, he knows you. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I told him, I said, you have the right to remain silent.
_ And you better shut up.
_ All right.
I'm going on over and put up the sign.
Put up the church sign.
All right.
This [G] is a good one.
It says God's watching you and our state troopers have radar. _
_ _ If you want to have fun.
See Gene Watson.
Oh, well, that's true.
Yeah.
But if you're, let's say you're 14.
Nah, better make it younger than that.
Better make it 11.
Can't hardly remember back that far.
Take a hair dryer.
Oh.
Go out and stand on the interstate and point it.
Oh, you can do that at 70.
You can do what?
You can do that at 70.
Oh, is that what you know?
Yeah. _ _ _
_ [E] _ _ _ _ _ _ _