Chords for Nadine's FIRST VISIT to the Diner

_ _ _ [F] Oh _ _ [C]
Lord.
Oh my goodness.
Lord.
_ Lord. _
It's Nadine.
Oh looky here.
[F] Honey I'm [C] glad somebody
came by to beautify this place.
[Eb] _ _ _
Nadine be nice.
_ I _ tell you what I just wore out today.
[N] I got, _ you know, I try to do what they tell me, just take one day at a time, but [D] _ sometimes
just several days just tack me all at once.
_ _ _ What you got [Eb] today Renee?
Well whatever you
want [D] Nadine.
I guess I just need my usual.
_ [N] We know what Nadine needs.
Well I tell you
what you got anything sweet?
Yeah we do.
Well good cause that skinny woman's screaming in
there and I gotta, usually I knock her out with a couple of pies or something.
_ Maybe
some coffee. _ _
Yeah.
_ _ Well Bill Anderson. _
Lordy mercy [C] I cannot believe you're here.
I just
read your book for the fifth [N] time.
_ Bless your heart.
Are you a songwriter?
I thought you
was an author.
No I'm kidding.
I like that book it was called I Hope You're Living as
High on the Hog as the Pig You Become or something like that.
_ Pig You Turned Out to Be.
I got
that from my husband but he won't read it.
Homer won't read it but I sure did read it.
Why'd you read it five times?
Did you have trouble understanding it the first four?
Honey
my memory is gone.
Only thing I can retain is water.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Well _ just some pine coffee I think. _
[B] Alright.
_ And [E] Larry sometime [C]
after I eat I need to talk to you [Gb] about that Lucille over
at the church.
[Eb] Why?
She's just screwing up our bulletins like something crazy.
Alright.
I can't talk about it now I need to eat.
But uh.
Well what about Homer?
You got anything
going on with Homer?
Well Homer's busy and a one legged [B] man at a butt kicking contest.
_ I [Em] got him home cleaning house.
[Bb] Yeah if I told him I wasn't cleaning no more he just messes
it up.
I clean it he messes it up.
I told him this ain't [B] doing it no more.
I said people
start coming to my house I'm just gonna pull out my get well card, throw them around, put
me [Bb] a blanket on the couch and shoot half time I can get nine times out of ten I can
get a free meal out of that.
[Abm] _ _
_ _ _ [N] _ _ _ I ain't cooking.
I told him I ain't cooking no more either.
Homer and I ain't cooking no more.
I'm doing them microwave dinners and lord only knows
how much sodium's in that thing.
Deer's been following us around for two weeks. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
I heard
it's a senior cruise.
You ain't been on none.
You're too young for a senior cruise.
_ This
boy right here's probably been on several of them. _
_ Maybe.
_ I bet you and Lou Anne's been
on some.
Lou Anne's too young but I bet you took her on some.
Yeah we went on some.
It
was a cheap one.
It was for our [Ab] 60th wedding anniversary.
_ Might have been _ [Bb] 50.
_ [N] But anyway
the average age on that ship was deceased.
_ _ I'm telling you it wasn't a whole lot of fun.
They had degrees to shuffleboard for them boys to play on it. _ _ _
_ The favorite pastime of the whole thing was nodding off.
_ _ _ I went in the casino.
They got this little casino.
I went in there.
They did and I went in there to pray for all them people in there.
You a godly [D] woman?
I took my book in there and I sat down there at the table and I prayed for all
them people and I put my glass of water right there and some idiot put [N] his teeth in it.
_ _ Made me sick.
I just got sick and Homer got so seasick.
Lord I told him I said I just went in
there and told our waiter why don't you just take his food and throw it overboard let's just
eliminate that middleman. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ But now Larry.
Yes ma'am.
I want to tell you something.
Okay.
Oh I
need to tell Bill something.
We'll go right ahead Bill.
My husband Homer he's trying to write some
songs.
Now he's getting old but he's working pretty hard on them and I got one I'd like to
run home get and let you read it.
Okay.
The title of it is if the phone don't ring you'll know it's
me.
_ I like that.
I like that it's got a ring to it. _ _
_ _ _ _ I like you. _
_ _ _ That's one of the few that you like.
It is.
I don't like too many people.
I don't see too
many people in here.
I like ain't too many people in this town.
I like. _ _ _
_ _ You got any Hershey's chocolate? _
_ _ I already drank it.
That's a day. _
All right Larry.
I need to get down to business here.
Yeah.
[E] Bulletin.
Let me get just some sugar in my system so I can. _ _
_ _ _ _ Oh well first of all I found the first one.
Yeah.
These are mistakes in the bulletin.
We get out of church.
Yeah.
_ Sunday and I got in the car _ and um.
_ _ [Gm] Too much sugar for you?
Oh not [Eb] enough.
No.
_ [C] And I [E] saw this you know Lucille.
I [Dm] you know she's getting old but I think we're going y'all
you as member of the board need to replace her.
Well y'all need to do that.
Now I love her to
death.
I wouldn't sit here and talk about her but she's got in here.
[N] She's got _ Irvin Benson
and Jesse Carter will be married on October 24th in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in
their school days.
_ _ _ _ Now I know Irvin's mama and she ain't gonna be happy. _ _
_ _ I don't think it's funny.
Well it's not.
I think y'all gonna have to do something about this because
it happens every single Sunday.
They got.
That's just one.
Well listen to this one.
Now this is a good one.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
Well _ now you darn tooting music's gonna follow.
_ _ _ _ _ Emphasis on tooting.
I mean you know what that's right.
I got a friend I can bring well
_ there there's Jared Black.
I could call his wife in there because we we sometimes have contests. _
I don't think I want to know about that.
Yeah but anyway let me take back this is serious.
I the last one is here.
I mean she's got three and it's almost like three every every week.
It says at the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be what is hail.
Come early and listen
to our choir practice.
_ _ Now _ I took offense at that because you're in the choir.
I figured that.
I
figured that Nadine.
And I you know what that girl could ruin a two-car funeral.
And _ I think y'all need to talk to Pastor Tom and do something about her.
I do.
I think the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. _ _ _ _ _
_ You eat your Sunday and we'll take that into advice under advisement.
We will.
I'll be in here next week talk to you about it.
_ Thank you Nadine.
_ _ [B] _ _ _ _ [E] _
_ _ _ _ _ Ring the [A] bell.