Chords for My Unfortunate Erection (Chip's Lament)

Fritos, M&Ms, _ [D#] _
[C#] Oreos, all for one dollar.
[A] It is [C#] _ tradition
_ _ _ [A#m] that the person eliminated [A] from the competition is fair game for [C#] derision.
_ Especially [F#m] the alpha male, [D#] who else saw goodies at [C#] the bake sale? _ _ _ _ _
Anyone for brownies, [F#] anyone for chocolate chips, anyone for anything [C#] that isn't dated.
[F#m] [G#] How could I [F#m] have been _ _
[F#] _ eliminated?
_ [G#] _ _ You wanna know how?
You wanna know how?
You [F#] wanna know _ [A#] why? _ _ _ _
[C#] _ My [A#m] unfortunate erection _
[D#] is _ destroying [G#] my _ perfection.
[C#] It is [Em] my _ [D#m] recollection
[C#] that everything I [F#] once did, I did [C#] perfectly.
_ [B] Last [F#] year's champ [A] deceited _
[A#m] _ because [C#] _ of [D#] Mary Gold [C#] Coney _ Bear.
Because [G] there's something [F#m] and not a [C#] thing [E] between us.
I [A#] don't blame my brain, but [D#m] I do blame [G#] my penis. _ _
[C#] My unfortunate [A#m] _ _ protuberance
[D#] seems [D#m] to have [G#] its own [B] exuberance. _
[A] Anyone for M&Ms, delicious and appropriate.
[G#] Anyone for Chewy Goobers, _ expensive.
Anyone for buying [F#m] the shit that I'm selling
[G#] because my stiffy has ruined my spelling.
[C#m] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ Erection, [F#] _ erection, my unfortunate _ _ [F] _ _ [A#m] _ erection. _
[A] Whoa. _ _ _ _ _ _
[D#] _ _ It's ruining my life, it's ruining my world,
it's ruining my, ruining, [G#] ruining, ruining [C#] my _ _ _ [F#] _ life.
[C#] My _ [C#m] life.
[F#] _ _ [A] _ _
[C#] _ _ _ Adulthood brings its [F] own peculiar _ [G] [F] rejection. _
[G#] Which is why _ [F#] I'm [G#] selling this _ _ _ _ PTA. _ _
And _ _ [D#] _ _ _ _
_ _ fagging will [F#] ruin _ _
_ _ _ [A#m] _ _ _ _ _
[A] _ my life.
All because of my _ [C#] _ unfortunate _ _ _
[F#m] _ _ _ _ [G#] _ _ erection.
_ _ _ _ _ [D#] _ _ [G#] _
_ _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _
_ _ _ [F#m] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _