Chords for My Attorney Bernie

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Here's another Dave Frishberg tune.
_ _ _ It's called My Attorney _ Bernie.
_ _ _ [Em] _ _
_ _ [Ebm] _ _ [Dm] _ _ [Em] _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[Em] _ _ _ _ [Dm] _ _ _ [Em] _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ [B] _ _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I'm impressed _ _ with my attorney Bernie. _ _ _ _
I'm impressed with his influential _ [Dbm] friends.
_ [Bb] _ _ [G] _
[Dm] He's got very [G] big connections, _ [Gm] so I follow his _ directions.
_ [G] Bernie knows his way around, and [C] so I always do [D] what Bernie _ [Db] recommends.
[B] _ _ _ _
I am [E] impressed _ _ with my [B] attorney Bernie.
[E] _ _ _ _
_ I'm impressed with the way he runs [B] the store.
_ _ [Bbm] _ _
_ [D] He's got [A] Dodger [G] season boxes and an office full of boxes.
_ It's amazing all [Gm] the different things [G] your average [D] guy _ may need a [Db] lawyer for.
_ [Ab] _
[A] Bernie tells me what [B] to do.
Bernie [B] lays it on the line.
Bernie says [D] we sue, we sue.
Bernie says [E] we sign.
_ _ [Em] _ We sign. _
[G] _ _ _ _ _ _ [C] _ _
_ _ _ _ [Em] _ _ [Ebm] _ _
[C] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _
_ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ In touch _ with my attorney Bernie.
_ _ _ In a clutch, he can speed right to [Dbm] the scene. _ _
[G] _ _ And [Dm] if I'm [Am] locked up in [G] a jail [Dm] with just [Gm] one phone call for [F] my bail,
[A] he [F] says to call his [Gm] club collect or [Am] deal directly [D] with his answering [Gb] _ _ [B] machine.
_ When I [E] dine _ _ with my attorney Bernie, _ _ _ _ he buys wine from the rare imported [Db] rack. _ _ _
[Gm] _ _ That's [Dm] because Bernie [G] is a purist, not your _ [Cm] polyester tourist.
[F] _ Bernie waves the [Gm] glass around a while, [Am] then takes a sip [D]
and always sends [B] it back. _ _
_ [A] Bernie tells [D] me what [Bm] to do.
[B] Bernie lays it on the line.
Bernie says [G] we sue, [D] we sue.
Bernie says [E] we sign. _
[B] _ _ [Em] We _ _ [Eb] sign.
[G] _ _ _ _ [C] _ _ _ _
[B] _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
[D] _ _ [Em] _ _ [A] _ _ _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ I _ admire _ my attorney Bernie. _ _
_ _ I admire any guy who knows [Dbm] his stuff. _ _ _
[Em] _ Sure, [Dm] we blew a couple _ ventures with [Cm] some _ counterfeit [F] _
debentures.
But [Dm] you win a [D] few.
You lose a [Am] few.
Like Bernie says, [D] you keep on hanging tough.
[Abm] _ _ [E] _ _
Thanks to you, _ _ my attorney Bernie. _ _ _ _
_ Thanks to you, [B] I'm [E] considered well-to [A]-do.
_ [C] _ [Bb] _ _
Sure, [Dm] I'm made out like [Em] a bandit, [Cm] just [G] exactly like you planned it.
But like Murray, [Gm] my accountant, _ [Am] told me _ yesterday, [C] I owe it all [Db] to you.
_ [E] _ [Db] Bernie [G] tells me what to do.
[E] Bernie lays it [Abm] on the line.
Bernie [D]
says we sue, we sue.
Bernie [E] says we sign.
_ [G] _ _ [Em] _
We [Eb] sign.
_ [G] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ On the dotted [B] line.
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_ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _