Nicky Chords by Momus

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_ [Bbm] Suppose one day in [Ebm] Bromley, Kent I [Bbm] live my nightmare [Ebm] and I'm sent to [Db] sing for blonde
[Gb] suburban [Bb] women _
[Ebm] Before [Bbm] the waves of [Ebm] double glazes [Bbm] I'd be [Ebm] Julio
Iglesias [Db] doing the greats in [Gb] _ [Bb] Argentinian _
[Eb] Suppose they bury [Gm] Manilowi screaming show
me your man With legs as mottled as salami, [Eb] ladies I'm
[Fm] doing the best [Bb] I can _ _ _ _
[Fm] _ This is how Casanova's bum becomes a lesson
in virility Set to a [Bb] bossanova drum and sun-cut tarts
[Db] [G] Decked out like Christmas trees _ _
[C] _ [Bb] Then in my dressing [Ab] room I'd see [Bb] this elephant
as [C] pink as me [Bb] Drinking and singing [Ab] gloomily
[Bb] About the time they [Ab] call me [Bbm] Yeah the time [Ab] they call me
About the time they [F] call me Nikki If [Eb] I could be him _
[Gm] _ If I could [Bbm] be him [C] before his [Fm] grand finale If I could [E] be me
If I could [Fm] only be [Gbm] cute cute [Bb] cute absolutely _
[Ebm] _ [Ab] banal
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_ [Bbm] Suppose one evening [Ebm] in Mauritius [Bbm] Entertaining [Ebm] high officials [Db] high on oars [Gb] and
marijuana [Bb] _
[Ebm] Begging _ [Bbm] letters [Ebm] from celebrities [Bbm] begging
couldn't you [Ebm] write songs for me [Db] I'd blackmail David [Gb] Bowie and the [Bbm] Dalai [Eb] Lama
Then I'd be an [Gm] industrialist a song and I'd sell you [C] with a wig
The best in showbiz [Gm] and in drink and [Eb] Korean floor [Db] shows
And whiskey [Bb] from the Congo [Fm] _ _ [Bb] _
Me I'd have a ring [F] on every finger and a thumb
in every state [Ab] And every state would be [Bb] the singers
And acknowledged [G] I would _ _ _ _ [Fm] legislate _
[Cm] [F] Then in my Hong [Eb] Kong opium [Bb] den waiting for
[C] 1999 [Bb] I'd spend the years of [Ab] my decline to rent
About the time they call me Yeah the [Eb] time they call me
About the time they call me Nikki [Ab] If I could [Eb] be him
If [Dm] I _ could [Bbm] be him [C] before his grand [Fm] finale If I could [E] be me
If I could [Ab] only be [Gbm] cute cute [Bb] cute [Ebm] _ absolutely _ [Bbm] banal
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[Ebm] _ _ [Db] _ _ [Ebm] _ _ [Ab] _ _
[Ebm] _ [Bbm] Suppose one day in [Eb] paradise I [Bbm] find myself to [Eb] my [Db] surprise
Singing for ladies flapping [Bb] swan's wings [Ebm] _ [Ab] Plucking on my [Ebm] little harp
[Bbm] I'd be a beacon [Eb] in the dark and [Db] save the souls [Gb] of human [Bb] beings
[Eb] Then Jesus Christ is [Gm] hardly Christmas son of the one in the [G] directory
Between Vic and Jean [Gm]-Luc Godard And I'd grow my [F] beard and walk [Fm] on water
_ [Bbm] _ _
[Fm] And if I really [C] came on strong and started prancing [Eb] and Cliff Richarding
I'd know it wouldn't [Bb] be too long before I heard the [G] shadows _ whispering
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How Satan's come in [Ab] from the cold He's [Gm] now the shepherd in his [Bb] fold
They're shouting out requests for oldies From the time they [Ab] call me
[Bbm] Yeah the time they call [F] me Yeah the time they call me Nikki
If I could [Eb] be him Romeo [Bb] and I If I could be him [C] before his grand [Db] finale
If [Fm] I could be me [E] If I could [Eb] only be [Gbm] cute cute [Bb] cute absolutely _
[Eb] banal _ _ _ _ _ _
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[D] _ _ _ _ [Db] _ _ [C] _ _
[F] _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
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[Eb] _ _ [Cm] _ _ [Db] _ _ _ _
[C] _ _ _ _ [Ab] _ _ _ [F] _
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