Chords for Karla LaVey {joan rivers show}

[Bm] _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ Today is Halloween.
I asked my staff to find [G] a couple of real witches, not like cutesy cutesy boo boo boo.
So what they came up, these are not your average
goody two-shoe witches that we're going to meet today who only cast [N] good spells.
No, no, no.
Today's guests call themselves
satanic witches, which I find to be very very scary.
What we're going to talk about now,
I do not condone, but I am certainly willing to listen to this.
I think all of us should know what's going on in the world that we live in.
They are here today to promote a book called The Secret Life of a Satanist, and will you please meet first Carla Lavey?
She's the daughter of Anton Lavey, who was the founder of the Church of Satan, and she is the church's high priestess.
And next to her is Peggy Nedromia.
Peggy is a satanic witch who practices black magic and casts spells.
Welcome to the show and thank you for being here.
Especially on Halloween.
We, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ and [G] before we go into exactly what you, we all make happy silliness out of Halloween.
Is [N] Halloween a very important day to you and a sacred day to you the way Christmas or Hanukkah or something is or?
Well, it's a fun day.
It still is fun.
It's a fun day.
Yeah, and we think that people should have as good a time as possible as we think they should every other day.
That's [D] what Satanism is all about.
Now, what is a _ Satanist?
Exactly.
[N] Simply, tell me simply.
A Satanist is someone who's turned their back on the entire Judeo-Christian _
mythology and
_ morality.
They've turned their back on the whole idea of having a God to adore and _
an afterlife to
_ look forward to.
Satanists are, live for themselves and they live for this life here and now.
And I would [B] say there is no afterlife.
[Bb] Well, we basically believe in indulgence instead of abstinence and to live life to the fullest where you're still around because you don't know
what's going to happen afterwards.
But do you worship Satan?
I mean just to take the name Satan.
No, no, we don't worship anything.
We, we think of ourselves as being our own gods and we have to be true to ourselves and
_ _ that doesn't mean that we go out and do absolutely anything that, that we might want to.
There's a difference between
_ indulgence and compulsion and so a Satanist has to sort of be their [Em] own policeman.
But you [Gm] have,
you have services, [B] you have religious services.
Well, some people do but Satanism is not based on having
services that are open to a public, that have a lot of people that congregate just because they want to all get together
and have that type of thing.
Do you cast spells?
Sure we do.
Because according to black witches, you cast spells.
For example, give me a spell that you've cast recently.
Well, you might cast a spell if you're very attracted to someone and you want that person to be attracted to you.
You can cast a love spell or a lust spell.
Have you done that?
I've done it in the past.
Yeah.
And does it work?
Yes, it does.
If it really worked though, wouldn't all of us be knocking on your door?
_ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ Could you just throw a little something Robert Redford's way, you know, I'd be very happy.
That's where it comes in.
That's how you have to really know yourself.
And what about, because you can't expect that you're
_ like a man that's not really very attractive at all
_ physically or whatever and expect some
actress, a major movie actress to fall madly in love with you unless you have something to offer.
It has to be something in your own realm.
[Gm] What about
bad spells?
[D] Well, we know that your father and I was a founder and they said he put a spell over
Jane Mansfield and it backfired.
No, it wasn't on Jane Mansfield.
No, you want to hear that story?
Everyone wants to hear _ _ the Jane Mansfield story.
Well, not Jane Mansfield anymore, [N] but everybody else.
Yeah, the Jane Mansfield and the Marilyn Monroe and all that. _ _ _ _
_ Jane Mansfield was a follower of the Church of Satan.
She came to San Francisco in
1966 for the San Francisco Film Festival and
she had wanted to meet my father.
She'd seen him on TV and she seemed to sort of fall madly in love with him.
He became her guru and _
there was never any curse on Jane Mansfield.
She simply wanted to be a witch.
She was interested in learning how to practice magic and at that time her attorney, Sam Brody, was her boyfriend
and she was going through a
_ case with her kids where her ex-husband, where she was going through a divorce,
wanted to have custody of her children and was trying to have her shown as being an unfit mother, which she wasn't.
_ She felt very badly about this and she wanted to do the best she could to get her children, but Sam Brody _ _
started blackmailing her and she _ confided to my father the first time she met him that she was having these
difficulties with him.
He became her boyfriend, her lover, Sam Brody, her attorney,
_ because he told her, well, if she stuck with him, he would [F] make sure that she could have her [Em] children.
So [N] it became a very vicious cycle.
He started blackmailing her and using her own money to buy her gifts and
sort of tried to take over her life.
She had no control over her own life and what she could do anymore.
She wanted to get rid of him, but he just wouldn't leave.
And so he started doing things that were nasty or nastier to her in her personal life.
And when Jane liked my father so much and always wanted to come up to San Francisco,
Sam Brody started doing some very nasty things in retaliation because he was jealous of the fact that Jane liked my father.
So he was touching certain
_ _ implements in my father's ritual chamber, which he wasn't supposed to touch, and
he lit a candle in the shape of a skull.
And then someone went and told my father about that and he said, well, no one is supposed to touch that.
That is a curse. _ _ _
_ _ Then at that same time we had a lion as a pet and
Jane was very fond of animals and she loved the lion and she wanted to take her children, especially her son Zoltan.
Can we just go to the commercial and tell it a little faster?
She wanted to take her son Zoltan to go see a lion because Sam Brody would not allow her to come up to San Francisco to see our lion.
And so I want to get to excuse.
I don't mean to be rude, but I want to get to is they put a spell on Sam Brody.
But she was in the car with him.
So the spell backfired.
Well, it's not that the spell backfired.
She knew that she wasn't supposed to be there with him.
But at that point, there was no way that she could conceivably get away from him.
And he was urging the driver to go faster, go faster, go faster.
And so as with any spell, you should never be around the person that a spell has been placed on.
And it was very, very unfortunate.
And my father felt very badly about it.
It was a very horrible thing that happened.
So it was never intentional that it was on Jane Mansfield.
It was against Sam Brody.
Let me ask you, because we have to go to commercial.
I'm sorry, because I would love to spend more time with you.
[D] Can you put a good spell on people?
Yes.
Would you put a good spell [F] just to dispel all this?
Well, I think we've got a great spell going here today.
I think you [N] put a wonderful spell over everyone in your audience.
_ _ _ The _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
book is called The [D] Secret Life of a Satanist.
And we'll be right back.
I [Bm] thank the two of you so very much for being on [D] the show.
Thank you.
We'll be right [A] back.
_ _ _ [G] _ _