Chords for Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk

[G] _ [Em] _ _ [Dm] _ _ _ Yes, [C] friends, pass the plate around, friends.
[Dm] Join us, friends.
[G] _
[E] _ [C] _ _ _ _ [G] There's [C] a knuckle-y little [Dm] weasel about three foot nine, [G] face puffed up from crying and
[C] lying, owes a sweet [D] little hubby sucking prong part-time.
[Dm] In the name [C] of the Lord.
[G] Get a clue, little [Dm] shrew, oh yeah, oh [G] yeah.
Jesus [Gm] thinks [F] you're a nerd, [Gb] would he really [G] choose Tammy to do his [C] work?
_ _ [G] _ [Dm] _ Hallelujah.
[G] _ [C] _
_ _ _ [G] [Dm] Yes, friends.
_ [Ab] _
_ _ [C] Robertson [D] says that he's the one, oh [G] he sure is.
If [G] Armageddon [C] is your [G] idea of [F] family fun, and he's got [E] some plan [G] for you, now tell me
[C] that ain't true, yeah.
[G] _ _ [F] _ _ [Dm] _ _ [C] _
Give me that old time religion.
[Dm] _ [G] _ [F] _ [C] _ _
Now what if [Dm] Jimbo's slightly gay, will Pat let [C] Jimbo get away?
Everything [Dm] we've heard him [F] say [E] indicates [C] that Jim must [F] pay.
And it must [G] right hurt a bit.
Just [Gm] admit what?
Keep [F] that money rolling in, [Gb] cause Pat and [Em] naughty Jimbo can't get [F]
[C] enough of him. Let's dance.
_ [F] _ _ _ _
[C] _ _ _ _ [E] _ [Dm] _ [Gm] _ [F] _
[C] _ _ Perhaps [G] it's their idea [A] of [D] a permanent action [G] plan, to give white trash [F] a special break
when they took [E] those G's, old bucks [C] and ran to the bank, to the bank, to the bank, to the bank.
[Em] Every night [F] we pay [C] in [G] their body [C] up above, [Dm] for sending [C] down in love, [D] while you all [E] smell
[G] _
_ the glow.
[C] _ _ _ _ [Dm] _
_ _ _ _ [C] Henry Cisneros, ladies and gentlemen.
[Dm] _ _ [G] _ [Dm] _ [C] _ _ Jim and [Dm] Pat should take a parade up East [Em] St.
Lee, glory home, and car and [Gb] feathers too,
[Dm] just like [C] they'd love to do to you.
Cause they [G] think you are bad, and they are very [Fm] bad.
Cause [N] some folks don't want prayer in [D] school, [F] [G] we _ need an arc to survive the drool, [F] _ [C] _ [G] of micro
publicans raised on hate, _ _ [Ab] [Bb] and Jimbo Jumbo when they [G]
graduate.
[D] _ [F] _ [C] _ [Em] _ _ Confince they are _ [Dm] the chosen ones, _ _ _ [Em] and all their talents _ _ _ _ [Dm] carry guns.
Hey look, Godzilla.
_ [Em] And hold them cars, _ _ _ [Dm] in the MRA, on hell fire Melvin Hayden.
[Em] With their fingers on the trigger, _ _ _ [Dm] when they kneel and say, _ I need help.
[C] With a blue klutz [Dm] woomoo in the back of the truck, if you ain't born again they [C] wanna
mess you up, screaming no [Dm] abortion, no sorry.
Life's too [C] precious, can't you [Dm] see, [Em] what's that [F] hanging from a [G] neighbor's tree? _
White looks [Fm] like [C] colored folks to me.
_ [Bb] [Em] They do that, they've been doing [F] it for [Gb] years, [G] and now ladies and gentlemen, [Db]
the dynamic Eric Buckston.
[G] _ Imagine if you will, a multi-millionaire TV evangelist, saved from Korean combat duty
by his father, a US senator.
[Ebm] Studied [Em]
law, but is not qualified to practice it.
[Cm] _ [Gb] Father [Db] of a love child, who in adulthood hosts the remnants of Papa's religious propaganda [Eb] program.
_ [Db] Claims not to be a faith healer, but has in the past dealt sternly with everything from
hemorrhoids to [N] hurricanes.
_ [Eb] Involved [Db] with funding for an undeclared war in Central America, claiming Ronald Reagan
and Oliver North as close friends.
[Eb] _
[Ebm] _ _ [Db] Involved in suspicious tax [Gbm] avoidance schemes, under [G] investigation for [Eb] 16 months by [Db] the IRS.
_ [Ebm] _
[Gb] _ _ Claims to be [Em] a man of God, currently seeking the United States presidency, hoping we will
all [Gb] follow him into the [Ab] Twilight Zone.
_ _ [C] But hey, [G] what if Pat gets in the White [F] House, no fucking way I [G] ain't.
Ha, ha, ha, you know what I [F] mean?
I'm from the crew.
_ [G] The rights of certain people [Am] disappear, _ _ _ [G]
mysteriously.
_ _ [F] _ _ _ [Em] Now wouldn't that [Dm] sort of [Em] qualify as an [Am] American tragedy? _
Ow, [G] ow, ow.
_ _ [F] Especially if they cover it [Em] up, _ _ [G] [F] saying, [Em] Jesus [C] told it to me.
I mean babe, we're tight, we're like [Ab] this, okay, I mean [Am] that. _
I hope we never see [G] that day.
Right here, it's hot, it's hot.
[F] In the land _ [Em] of the free, or [Dm] someday will we?
_ _ [Fm] 92?
_ [G]
Will we?
[Ebm] 96?
_ [E] _ [Fm] And if you don't [C] know [G] by now, _ _ [Fm] _
the truth of [G] what I'm telling you,
[C] then [Em] surely [Dm] I have [C] failed somehow, _ _ _ [F] _
_ [C] _ [Em] surely [F] I [C] have failed somehow, _ yeah.
[F] Oh, _ _ [Em] [F] surely I have [C] failed somehow.
_ _ [F] _ _ _
[G] And Jesus will think [F] I'm a jerk, just [G] like you.
_ _ [F] _ _ _
If you [Em] let those [Dm] TV [C] preachers make a [Am] monkey out of you.
Ow, [G] ow, ow.
_ [F] I said Jesus [G] will think [Am] you're a jerk, and it [Ab] would be true.
_ [F] _ _ [C] _ [G] _ [C] _
There's an [B] old [C] rugged cross.
_ [F] In the land [E] of the [F] stainless maintenance.
_ _ [G]
They're just [C] burning on the lawn.
[Dm] But this person looks like Tom [C] Brayden.
_ [G]
Tim, it's [C] Abby.
_ [Dm] Oh, [C] baby, [G] you gotta [C] go.
[D] You [Dm] really [C] got [Ab] to go.
[Fm] _ _ _ _ _ _ [C] _
_ _ You really got [A] to go.
_ _ _ _ [Eb] Ladies [A] and gentlemen, this is intermission.
Get your butt out there and [Eb] register to vote, would you please?
[A] See you in a half an hour. [N] Abby!
[Db] _ _ _ [Bm] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [Gbm] _ _ _ _ [Bm] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _