Chords for Janis Ian Talks About Getting Married

So we went looking for clothes. _ _ _ _
_ Picture two middle-aged women, _ chunky.
_ _ _ _ _ It was very relieved to have jobs that don't require wearing dresses. _ _ _
Going into the local Macy's outlet store _ and meeting up with our personal [E] shopper, _ _ _ Luelle.
_ _ He says, what's the occasion?
_ And Pat says, I'm getting married.
And I say simultaneously, I'm getting married.
And Luelle says, I should do some [G] special zealots.
_ _ _ _ And so Pat said, [E] no, we are getting married to each other.
[A] And Luelle never missed a beat.
She said, bless your heart.
_ [B] And Pat says, [D#] come over here and meet these two [E] nice little old ladies.
_ _ _ To each other.
[N] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ Huh. _ _ _
_ _ Huh. _ _ _ _
We went through the bridal dresses in about an eighth of a second. _
_ _ We went through the regular [B] dresses in another eighth of a second.
[A] _ We went through the suits.
We went through the suits for women who are lawyers and don't want to look [Em] like men but need to [F#m] nevertheless present that look.
_ We [A] went through everything and to, Pat was [N] saying that she thought maybe she wouldn't get married after all.
_ _ _ When I spied a row of Hawaiian shirts.
And so that was that.
We showed up in Toronto a month later with our Hawaiian shirts in tow.
[A] _ _ _
_ _ At the [E] science fiction convention. _ _
[F#] So we check into the hotel.
_ And the woman behind the desk says, oh, are you here for the convention?
And Pat says, no, we're here to get married [C] to each other.
And the woman goes, isn't that wonderful?
We'll give you the bridal suite.
_ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ And I have to confess, as politically incorrect as this will sound,
_ _ [E] it felt weird. _ _
_ It just feels weird.
I mean, what do I call her?
My spouse?
Sounds like a suit. _
My partner in the business relationship.
My lover [D] sexualizes the whole thing.
_ My husband, no, not [C#] even going there.
_ My wife, not great either. _
Pat's suggestion was she who must be [N] obeyed, but I KO'd that. _
_ I _ _ _ just don't know quite how to react.
And even I didn't [E] know how to react.
So we both kind of joked a lot about it.
Because we were uncomfortable.
_ But the next morning we went to Starbucks.
_ And we ordered [A] lattes.
And the guy said, are you here for the science fiction convention?
[Gm] And I said, no, we're getting married to each [N] other.
And he went, oh, lattes on me.
Welcome to Canada. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [Gm] This was weird.
_ All [E] that week, people treated us like we were normal. _
It was so strange.
_ _ It felt so abnormal.
_ You can't tell you.
_ So we found ourselves with several science fiction writers as witnesses,
everybody [F] wearing Hawaiian shirts,
_ _ standing in front of a very [E] nice minister.
_ _ _ And we were still kind of awkward about it, a little embarrassed.
And we kept saying to each other, look,
[D] it's a good thing politically.
_ We should count ourselves.
_ _ But really, [B] what does it mean?
It's a piece of paper.
I mean, we've been together 16 years.
It's just [E] a piece of paper.
_ So imagine our surprise when the ceremony finished
and Malcolm St.
Clair said, _ you are now married. _ _
And we both burst into tears.
_ _ And we looked at each other and we were both thinking the same thing.
It's just a piece of paper.
It's not [B] that big a deal.
And yet we found ourselves weeping all the way out of the courthouse,
all the way down the courthouse steps.
_ _ _ And later on when we were talking about it,
we realized that _ all of our lives together,
we had assumed we would be outlaws.
_ All of our lives together,
we had assumed _ that people would stare at us if we held hands,
that people would [B] make fun of us if we said we loved each other.
We just assumed that because that's the way it had always been.
And yet, for the [Em] first time in our life,
_ we not only had a marriage certificate,
but we had the weight of an [E] entire country's legal system
standing behind us saying, you know what? _ _ _
You're just like everybody else.
_ And that was awe-inspiring and it was profound
and it was astonishing and that's why we came [D] home. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
We're married in London [E] but not in New York.
[B] _
_ [N] _ _ _ _ _ [E] Spain says we're kosher, the states say we're [Am] pork. _ _
_ They didn't get that in Nashville.
_ [C] _ _
_ [D] _ _ _ _ _ [A] The judge [D] said amen.
And _ when [F#m] we got home we [A] were single [D] again. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ It's hard being married and living in sin.
[C] _ _
[Em] _ _ Sometimes [D] I forget just [A] which state I am [A] in. _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [Gm] _ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _
_ _ _ I'd be a [D] mess, _
[Em] _ trying to [A] figure out what [D] to confess. _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
My past _ Sweden [D] says I've got a wife.
_ [Em] Amsterdam [D] tells me I'm partnered [A] for life.
_ _ [A] Back in America, [D] _
land of the free,
I'm [Em] a threat to [F#m] the national [A] security.
_ [D] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ If I were a frog,
_ _ [C] _ _ [E] _
here's what [D] I would say. _ _ _ _
[Em] It's hard [D] being green.
_ [A] _
It's hard being gay. _ _ _ _
_ [D] Love has no color
and [A]
hearts have no [D] sex.
_ _ [Em] So love where [D] you can
_ [A] and fuck all the rest. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [F] _ _
_ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _