Chords for Hessie's Shed - With Neil Finn - Crowd Questions (5/7)

[G] _ Well there's only one thing I can do at this point and I suppose that's introduce Nick Seymour ladies and gentlemen. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [C] [G] Nick.
_ [N] Now Neil and Nick are, um, [E] darlings.
[G] Before we start, just a general apology for leaving you guys in Atlanta.
Just a general apology there.
Just to set up straight.
That's alright, because we're off now. _ _
_ _ _ _ Jeez.
[N] It's a bit edgy all of a sudden, isn't it?
I thought I finally met me match.
Now look, questions.
Questions from the good people to you guys.
I'll read them and if I feel like, you know, there's something I should answer I'll jump in.
Well it's not likely, Paul.
[Bb] _ _ It's happening again, Nick.
It's happening again.
Oh look, here's a good, here's a spicy one.
What the fuck went wrong?
[G] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ Well whatever it was, it can't have been gone that wrong because here we are.
_ [Bm] _ _ [G] _ Oh _ _
[Dbm] look at these guys.
[G] Michael, there's big performance fees.
Yeah, well I didn't get around to that, did I?
No, no.
[N] We'll talk about that later.
There's ten bucks here. _ _
Okay, um.
Don't forget it's not worth anything, Paul.
[G] Here's a good one.
Here's a good one.
The worst onto a fight, violence.
_ What does that mean, Neil?
Well.
Milan, you and Neil.
Well there was an incident in Milan.
Every time we went to Milan we always had a fight, Paul and I.
I don't know, it was fated.
We never were big in Italy.
Endlessly frustrated by it.
Um, because it's got the best food and the best wine.
We wanted to be big there.
Um, but uh, we went to Milan and we did a really crappy little gig.
There was only about 50 or 60 people there and it had been a really bastard of a day for the crew.
Difficult set up, you know.
We turned up, we were all petulant and sort of pop star-y and said,
Oh what's this?
It's too many, no people and the stage is too small.
Went on stage and I was trying to talk to the audience and Paul was tuning his drum.
By then we'd had a bit of a spat on stage, but it was a private one at this point.
And I, I was trying to talk and Paul was making a big noise.
So I got really pissed off and went over and smashed my guitar on top of his snare drum.
And said, there, does that sound right, Paul?
_ And anyway, there was a dark cloud instantly descended.
The audience went, ooh, ooh, ooh.
And they got scared, you know, in their Italian way.
Had no idea what we were talking about.
Violence is universal.
And we went off stage and, and you know, and [N] fuming.
And I stormed off about to go back to the hotel.
And as I was going to the door, Paul pushed me.
And it was a little fly screen kind of door.
And outside there was a little gathering of fans waiting to say hello.
And they'd been waiting all their lives for us to come to Italy.
And Paul pushed me through the door and I landed at their feet.
In a, in a heap.
And as he pushed me, he said, come here!
_ [G] _
_ It's impossible.
That sucked it up.
And that was, that was probably our worst moment of violence, actually.
It was.
The most adventurous thing you've ever done with a microphone?
Ah, I can answer that.
That would be Los Angeles Paul. _ _ _
Paul, picture this, picture this.
Christmas, _ Christmas 88, Paul in a red Santa suit.
On stage at the Wilton Theatre in Los Angeles.
To a cocktail [Cm] accompaniment by myself, I think.
I think so.
Disrobed his Santa suit to absolutely nothing but a pair of cross trainers.
[G] And addressed the audience in a very calm fashion.
And then turned his back to the audience with the microphone.
Struck the microphone with his penis.
_ Which is the first known, the first known recorded penis, I think, in the rock and roll history.
There's [N] something on the lines of, ah.
[G] It was a mystery sound.
I was saying, guess the sound.
_ _ _ _ I was trying my hardest.
The funny thing was, half the audience didn't even know you were naked.
_ _ Feared of amazing things to the man's anatomy.
I got a photo from a fan in a fan letter that had a picture of that with a toy magnifying glass.
Ah, that's it.
Sticky taped to the photo so I could see it.
What's the capital of Tonga? _
[F] John?
_ [G] Four dollars eighty.
[E] Thanks.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [N] _ _ I think that's just about done it.
Let's move on. _
You know, the day that you left, I was describing this before.
And I don't know if this is the venue for this discussion.
Yeah, it's the venue.
Might as well.
We're all adults now.
Let's have it out now.
This is like a therapy session after all.
But I've never seen anybody look more unhappy in my life than that day.
And I was relieved that you said you wanted to leave.
Because I thought.
Before I'd said it.
Because I thought, this is, I can't, you know, it's just not fair.
I can't take this guy anymore.
No, no, it was partly that, yes.
But I was concerned.
I was just, I wanted you to get some relief.
It was like, so I think you did the right thing and, you know, fine.
You were really elated, I remember that.
No, you were like, it was like you wanted to leave too, but you couldn't.
But because I was leaving, it was like, oh, someone's leaving.
I was just relieved something had happened.
Because we were in this strange, nebulous land, nebulous point in the tour where
it was just this uneasiness and unspoken sort of frustration lurking under the surface for everybody.
And I thought, oh, something's happened.
Thank God for that.
I thought it was brilliant that you just went on and did the next night without me and just kept going.
I was a bit, you know, disappointed that you could do that.
But I just want to say now, officially, I was very proud of you guys.
I sort of got to watch you, or watch the band after leaving [Ab] it.
Did you see us play?
No, I just saw Telly's stuff and a few tapes and got some singles.
I had to buy them.
No one was [Bb] sending them to me from the office.
But, you know, I just went out and bought them