Chords for Grandad's Got a Bone
Tempo:
73.5 bpm
Chords used:
D
A
G
E
Tuning:Standard Tuning (EADGBE)Capo:+0fret
Start Jamming...
[D]
The old bastard lay sprawled on the nursing home floor, he'd been wanking and fell out of his chair.
[A] And as he fell on his guts, his colostomy [E] buds splattering muck and guck [D] and shit everywhere.
It was all up the wall on the matron and all, it was caked on her [G] apron and hair.
[A] And as we ducked for cover, that filthy old bugger just sat there with his cock in [D] his hand.
Oh, couldn't have been a worse day, cause it was his birthday, with the rallies rallied all round his bed.
[A] Absolutely amazed that it actually made another birthday, cause he should have [D] been dead.
With all that mucking and fighting that he'd done in his life, he should have been hung years ago.
[A] By any number of blokes whose missus he'd poked with that monster he was [D] stroking there now.
Oh, Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's OD'd on Viagra, call Grandmother up on [G] the phone.
[A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [D] got his phone.
[A] [D]
[A] [D] But he just wouldn't stop winking, so he chucked on a blanket, so the women and kids couldn't see.
[A] His battered banana hanging out his pyjamas and the cum stain [D] and shit on his sheets.
But that filthy old bastard sat cackling, laughing, just waving his slug in the air.
[A] And by the look in his eye, matron knew it was time everybody get the [D] fuck out.
Cause Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [A] got his phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
Cause Grandad's going ballistic, call Grandmother up on the phone.
[A]
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone.
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's calling himself to pieces, call Grandmother up on the phone.
[A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his phone.
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone.
[A]
The old bastard lay sprawled on the nursing home floor, he'd been wanking and fell out of his chair.
[A] And as he fell on his guts, his colostomy [E] buds splattering muck and guck [D] and shit everywhere.
It was all up the wall on the matron and all, it was caked on her [G] apron and hair.
[A] And as we ducked for cover, that filthy old bugger just sat there with his cock in [D] his hand.
Oh, couldn't have been a worse day, cause it was his birthday, with the rallies rallied all round his bed.
[A] Absolutely amazed that it actually made another birthday, cause he should have [D] been dead.
With all that mucking and fighting that he'd done in his life, he should have been hung years ago.
[A] By any number of blokes whose missus he'd poked with that monster he was [D] stroking there now.
Oh, Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's OD'd on Viagra, call Grandmother up on [G] the phone.
[A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [D] got his phone.
[A] [D]
[A] [D] But he just wouldn't stop winking, so he chucked on a blanket, so the women and kids couldn't see.
[A] His battered banana hanging out his pyjamas and the cum stain [D] and shit on his sheets.
But that filthy old bastard sat cackling, laughing, just waving his slug in the air.
[A] And by the look in his eye, matron knew it was time everybody get the [D] fuck out.
Cause Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [A] got his phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
Cause Grandad's going ballistic, call Grandmother up on the phone.
[A]
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone.
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's calling himself to pieces, call Grandmother up on the phone.
[A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his phone.
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone.
[A]
Key:
D
A
G
E
D
A
G
E
_ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _
The old bastard lay sprawled on the nursing home floor, he'd been wanking and fell out of his chair.
[A] And as he fell on his guts, his colostomy [E] buds splattering muck and guck [D] and shit everywhere.
It was all up the wall on the matron and all, it was caked on her [G] apron and hair.
[A] And as we ducked for cover, that filthy old bugger just sat there with his cock in [D] his hand. _
Oh, couldn't have been a worse day, cause it was his birthday, with the rallies rallied all round his bed.
[A] Absolutely amazed that it actually made another birthday, cause he should have [D] been dead.
With all that mucking and fighting that he'd done in his life, he should have been hung years ago.
[A] By any number of blokes whose missus he'd poked with that monster he was [D] stroking there now.
Oh, Grandad's got his stiffy, _ Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's OD'd on Viagra, call Grandmother up on [G] the phone. _
[A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [D] got his phone. _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [D] _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [D] But he just wouldn't stop winking, so he chucked on a blanket, so the women and kids couldn't see.
[A] His battered banana hanging out his pyjamas and the cum stain [D] and shit on his sheets.
But that filthy old bastard sat cackling, laughing, just waving his slug in the air.
[A] And by the look in his eye, matron knew it was time everybody get the [D] fuck out. _
Cause Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [A] got his phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
Cause Grandad's going ballistic, call Grandmother up on the phone.
[A]
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone. _
Grandad's got his stiffy, _ Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's calling himself to pieces, call Grandmother up on the phone.
_ [A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his phone.
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone.
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The old bastard lay sprawled on the nursing home floor, he'd been wanking and fell out of his chair.
[A] And as he fell on his guts, his colostomy [E] buds splattering muck and guck [D] and shit everywhere.
It was all up the wall on the matron and all, it was caked on her [G] apron and hair.
[A] And as we ducked for cover, that filthy old bugger just sat there with his cock in [D] his hand. _
Oh, couldn't have been a worse day, cause it was his birthday, with the rallies rallied all round his bed.
[A] Absolutely amazed that it actually made another birthday, cause he should have [D] been dead.
With all that mucking and fighting that he'd done in his life, he should have been hung years ago.
[A] By any number of blokes whose missus he'd poked with that monster he was [D] stroking there now.
Oh, Grandad's got his stiffy, _ Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's OD'd on Viagra, call Grandmother up on [G] the phone. _
[A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [D] got his phone. _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [D] _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [D] But he just wouldn't stop winking, so he chucked on a blanket, so the women and kids couldn't see.
[A] His battered banana hanging out his pyjamas and the cum stain [D] and shit on his sheets.
But that filthy old bastard sat cackling, laughing, just waving his slug in the air.
[A] And by the look in his eye, matron knew it was time everybody get the [D] fuck out. _
Cause Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's [A] got his phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
Cause Grandad's going ballistic, call Grandmother up on the phone.
[A]
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone. _
Grandad's got his stiffy, _ Grandad's got his [A] phone.
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we promised her [D] we'd phone.
He's calling himself to pieces, call Grandmother up on the phone.
_ [A] Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got his phone.
Grandad's got his stiffy, Grandad's got [D] his phone.
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _