Chords for Gracie Fields -The Biggest Aspidistra In the World -Parkinson Show, 1977

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_ _ _ _ _ _ [G] Well, you've got the music we hoped for the best.
I hope I remember it.
Right.
_ _ _ For years we had an ass-pedestra in a flowerpot,
On the what-not, near the at-stand in the hall.
Well, it [Am] didn't seem to [D] grow, till [G] one day our brother [Em] Joe
Had [A] a notion that he'd make it strong [D] and tall.
[G] So he crossed it with an acorn [C] from an oak tree,
[G] And he planted it [A] against the [D] garden wall.
_ Well, [G] it shot up like a rocket, till it nearly reached the sky.
It's the biggest ass-pedestra in the [D] world.
We [Am] couldn't see the top of it, it's got sublumine eye.
It's the [D] biggest ass-pedestra in [Eb] the world.
[G]
[Bm] When father's had [Gb] a snoop full at his [Bm] pub with a bunch of grapes,
He doesn't go all [Gm] fighting mad [A] and getting into [D] scrapes.
[G] You'll find him in his bare skin, [Am] playing Tarzan [D] off the ape.
[Am] _ _
[D] It's the biggest ass-pedestra in [G] the [A] world.
[G] The pussycats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out.
It's the biggest ass [Gm]-pedestra in [D] the world.
[Am] They [A] all begin [Em] meowing [Am] when the [A] buds begin to sprout
From [Am] [C] the biggest [D] ass-pedestra [G] in the [Eb] world.
[G] [Bm] The dogs [Gb] all come around for [Bm] miles, a lovely sight to see.
They sniff around [Gm] for hours and hours and [G] wag their tails with glee.
So I've had to put a notice up [Am] to say it's not a [D] tree.
[Am] It's the biggest [D] ass-pedestra _ [G]
in the [A] world.
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