Festival of Farts Chords by Kevin Bloody Wilson
Tempo:
105.7 bpm
Chords used:
E
A
D
G
B
Tuning:Standard Tuning (EADGBE)Capo:+0fret
Start Jamming...
I come from an outback town [Gm] where fuckin' nothin' [D] grows, [G] no wheat, no sheep, [D] so we
can't [E] even boast an annual [A] show.
[D] But we got somethin' special there [G] that sets our town [D] apart, [G] cause each year in [D] the shed
we hold [A] a festival [D] of farts.
There's displays and competitions [G] and entries from [D] afar, [G] and those that can't [D] get into town
[E] just send in little [A] jars, [D] and off at sides the local cop [G] with clipboard and [D] a pen, [G] unscrews
the lids [D] then takes a whip, [A] then scores them one [D] to ten.
He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation of [G] the fancy [D] little jars, and [G] a medal for
[D] the best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts.
And you should see the mob this year [G] that crammed into [D] the shed, [G] the year that big [D] guns
blazin' in [E] the fartin' talent [A] quest, [D] with old Sarge on a megaphone [G] as he reads the [D] riot act.
[G] Ah, settle [D] down you bastards, [A] can you hear me at the [D] back?
Now give them all a go, alright, [G] and buff them [D] cigarettes, [G] and any of you [D] cunts play
up tonight [E] I'll bust your [A] fuckin' heads.
Then [D] he unfolds his director's chair [G] and squats on his [D] fat ass to [G] adjudicate [D] the entries in
[A] the festival [D] of farts.
He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation, [G] style and grace [D] and class, [G] and a medal for
the [D] best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts.
[E] Then the crowd roars its approval as [A] the first bloke lets [E] one go, [A] fuckin' thunder from [E] down
under [F#] to open up [B] the show.
Then [E] a double burbling gurgler [A] with chilly [E] afterburn, then [A] the downdraft [E] knacker clanger
shit [B] that much to fuckin' [E] hurt, and a silent singlet singer [A] that took us by [E] surprise, and
[A] a noxious [E] nostril burner [F#] that brung tears to [B] our eyes, and [E] all such the cranky bastards
sat [A] there adding up [E] the marks, [A] as popular [E] as embroids at [B] the festival [E] of farts.
Cause you'll get two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and
two more for [B] decay, [E] and two for presentation,
[A] style and grace [E] and class, [A] and a medal for
[E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of farts.
But the highlight of the show this year [A] was two kids with [E] a goat that [A] they'd fed on rocks
[E] and rotten eggs [F#] and dragged in on [B] a rope, and [E] as one young fella grabbed his arms [A] to
line old Billy [E] up, his mate [A] just wandered round [E] the goat's ass and [B] fair kicked him in
[E] the guts, and that old goat farted fuckin' beauty [A] like a shotgun goin' [E] off and fired
[A] a lethal load [E] of gravel shrapnel, [F#] scared shit out of the [B] mob, [E] cause they all died for
cover, [A] and hit the deck [E] in fear, [A] old Sarge just kept [E] on markin' the [B] shot whizzin' past
[E] his ears, he'd give em two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and all in all that bloated goat had [A] probably scored [E] a ten, except
[A] he fartin' shit [E] and shot old fuckin' [B] Sarge ass [E] over it, and with all of the confusion,
[A] and no cunt [E] keepin' score, [A] and old Sarge fuckin' [E] screamin' they [F#] just pissed off out the [B] door,
and [E] even when the dust had settled, [A] no one seemed [E] to care that [A] they'd fucked off with
[E] the medal, cause [B] they'd won it fair [E] and square that goat got two points for aroma, [A] two for
the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from
all of us for [A] [E] payback on old Sarge, and [A] the medal for [E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of
farts that goat got two points for aroma, two for the bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from all of us.
[B]
[E]
can't [E] even boast an annual [A] show.
[D] But we got somethin' special there [G] that sets our town [D] apart, [G] cause each year in [D] the shed
we hold [A] a festival [D] of farts.
There's displays and competitions [G] and entries from [D] afar, [G] and those that can't [D] get into town
[E] just send in little [A] jars, [D] and off at sides the local cop [G] with clipboard and [D] a pen, [G] unscrews
the lids [D] then takes a whip, [A] then scores them one [D] to ten.
He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation of [G] the fancy [D] little jars, and [G] a medal for
[D] the best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts.
And you should see the mob this year [G] that crammed into [D] the shed, [G] the year that big [D] guns
blazin' in [E] the fartin' talent [A] quest, [D] with old Sarge on a megaphone [G] as he reads the [D] riot act.
[G] Ah, settle [D] down you bastards, [A] can you hear me at the [D] back?
Now give them all a go, alright, [G] and buff them [D] cigarettes, [G] and any of you [D] cunts play
up tonight [E] I'll bust your [A] fuckin' heads.
Then [D] he unfolds his director's chair [G] and squats on his [D] fat ass to [G] adjudicate [D] the entries in
[A] the festival [D] of farts.
He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation, [G] style and grace [D] and class, [G] and a medal for
the [D] best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts.
[E] Then the crowd roars its approval as [A] the first bloke lets [E] one go, [A] fuckin' thunder from [E] down
under [F#] to open up [B] the show.
Then [E] a double burbling gurgler [A] with chilly [E] afterburn, then [A] the downdraft [E] knacker clanger
shit [B] that much to fuckin' [E] hurt, and a silent singlet singer [A] that took us by [E] surprise, and
[A] a noxious [E] nostril burner [F#] that brung tears to [B] our eyes, and [E] all such the cranky bastards
sat [A] there adding up [E] the marks, [A] as popular [E] as embroids at [B] the festival [E] of farts.
Cause you'll get two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and
two more for [B] decay, [E] and two for presentation,
[A] style and grace [E] and class, [A] and a medal for
[E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of farts.
But the highlight of the show this year [A] was two kids with [E] a goat that [A] they'd fed on rocks
[E] and rotten eggs [F#] and dragged in on [B] a rope, and [E] as one young fella grabbed his arms [A] to
line old Billy [E] up, his mate [A] just wandered round [E] the goat's ass and [B] fair kicked him in
[E] the guts, and that old goat farted fuckin' beauty [A] like a shotgun goin' [E] off and fired
[A] a lethal load [E] of gravel shrapnel, [F#] scared shit out of the [B] mob, [E] cause they all died for
cover, [A] and hit the deck [E] in fear, [A] old Sarge just kept [E] on markin' the [B] shot whizzin' past
[E] his ears, he'd give em two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and all in all that bloated goat had [A] probably scored [E] a ten, except
[A] he fartin' shit [E] and shot old fuckin' [B] Sarge ass [E] over it, and with all of the confusion,
[A] and no cunt [E] keepin' score, [A] and old Sarge fuckin' [E] screamin' they [F#] just pissed off out the [B] door,
and [E] even when the dust had settled, [A] no one seemed [E] to care that [A] they'd fucked off with
[E] the medal, cause [B] they'd won it fair [E] and square that goat got two points for aroma, [A] two for
the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from
all of us for [A] [E] payback on old Sarge, and [A] the medal for [E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of
farts that goat got two points for aroma, two for the bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from all of us.
[B]
[E]
Key:
E
A
D
G
B
E
A
D
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
I come from an outback town [Gm] where fuckin' nothin' [D] grows, [G] no wheat, no sheep, [D] so we
can't [E] even boast an annual [A] show.
[D] But we got somethin' special there [G] that sets our town [D] apart, [G] cause each year in [D] the shed
we hold [A] a festival [D] of farts. _
_ There's displays and competitions [G] and entries from [D] afar, [G] and those that can't [D] get into town
[E] just send in little [A] jars, [D] and off at sides the local cop [G] with clipboard and [D] a pen, _ [G] unscrews
the lids [D] then takes a whip, [A] then scores them one [D] to ten.
_ He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation of [G] the fancy [D] little jars, and [G] a medal for
[D] the best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts. _ _ _ _
_ And you should see the mob this year [G] that crammed into [D] the shed, [G] the year that big [D] guns
blazin' in [E] the fartin' talent [A] quest, [D] with old Sarge on a megaphone [G] as he reads the [D] riot act.
[G] Ah, settle [D] down you bastards, [A] can you hear me at the [D] back?
_ _ Now give them all a go, alright, [G] and buff them [D] cigarettes, [G] and any of you [D] cunts play
up tonight [E] I'll bust your [A] fuckin' heads.
Then [D] he unfolds his director's chair [G] and squats on his [D] fat ass to [G] adjudicate [D] the entries in
[A] the festival [D] of farts.
_ He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation, [G] style and grace [D] and class, [G] and a medal for
the [D] best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts. _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ Then the crowd roars its approval as [A] the first bloke lets [E] one go, [A] fuckin' thunder from [E] down
under [F#] to open up [B] the show.
Then [E] a double burbling gurgler [A] with chilly [E] afterburn, then [A] the downdraft [E] knacker clanger
shit [B] that much to fuckin' [E] hurt, _ and a silent singlet singer [A] that took us by [E] surprise, and
[A] a noxious [E] nostril burner [F#] that brung tears to [B] our eyes, and [E] all such the cranky bastards
sat [A] there adding up [E] the marks, [A] as popular [E] as embroids at [B] the festival [E] of farts.
Cause you'll get two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and
two more for [B] decay, [E] and two for presentation, _
[A] style and grace [E] and class, [A] and a medal for
[E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of farts. _ _ _ _ _
But the highlight of the show this year [A] was two kids with [E] a goat that [A] they'd fed on rocks
[E] and rotten eggs [F#] and dragged in on [B] a rope, and [E] as one young fella grabbed his arms [A] to
line old Billy [E] up, his mate [A] just wandered round [E] the goat's ass and [B] fair kicked him in
[E] the guts, and that old goat farted fuckin' beauty [A] like a shotgun goin' [E] off and fired
[A] a lethal load [E] of gravel shrapnel, [F#] scared shit out of the [B] mob, [E] cause they all died for
cover, [A] and hit the deck [E] in fear, [A] old Sarge just kept [E] on markin' the [B] shot whizzin' past
[E] his ears, he'd give em two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and all in all that bloated goat had [A] probably scored [E] a ten, except
[A] he fartin' shit [E] and shot old fuckin' [B] Sarge ass [E] over it, and with all of the confusion,
[A] and no cunt [E] keepin' score, [A] and old Sarge fuckin' [E] screamin' they [F#] just pissed off out the [B] door,
and [E] even when the dust had settled, [A] no one seemed [E] to care that [A] they'd fucked off with
[E] the medal, cause [B] they'd won it fair [E] and square that goat got two points for aroma, [A] two for
the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from
all of us for [A] [E] payback on old Sarge, and [A] the medal for [E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of
farts that goat got two points for aroma, two for the bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from all of us. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [B] _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I come from an outback town [Gm] where fuckin' nothin' [D] grows, [G] no wheat, no sheep, [D] so we
can't [E] even boast an annual [A] show.
[D] But we got somethin' special there [G] that sets our town [D] apart, [G] cause each year in [D] the shed
we hold [A] a festival [D] of farts. _
_ There's displays and competitions [G] and entries from [D] afar, [G] and those that can't [D] get into town
[E] just send in little [A] jars, [D] and off at sides the local cop [G] with clipboard and [D] a pen, _ [G] unscrews
the lids [D] then takes a whip, [A] then scores them one [D] to ten.
_ He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation of [G] the fancy [D] little jars, and [G] a medal for
[D] the best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts. _ _ _ _
_ And you should see the mob this year [G] that crammed into [D] the shed, [G] the year that big [D] guns
blazin' in [E] the fartin' talent [A] quest, [D] with old Sarge on a megaphone [G] as he reads the [D] riot act.
[G] Ah, settle [D] down you bastards, [A] can you hear me at the [D] back?
_ _ Now give them all a go, alright, [G] and buff them [D] cigarettes, [G] and any of you [D] cunts play
up tonight [E] I'll bust your [A] fuckin' heads.
Then [D] he unfolds his director's chair [G] and squats on his [D] fat ass to [G] adjudicate [D] the entries in
[A] the festival [D] of farts.
_ He'll give you two points for aroma, [G] two for the [D] bouquet, [G] two for [D] fermentation, [E] and two
more for [A] detail, [D] and two for presentation, [G] style and grace [D] and class, [G] and a medal for
the [D] best fart at [A] the festival [D] of farts. _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ Then the crowd roars its approval as [A] the first bloke lets [E] one go, [A] fuckin' thunder from [E] down
under [F#] to open up [B] the show.
Then [E] a double burbling gurgler [A] with chilly [E] afterburn, then [A] the downdraft [E] knacker clanger
shit [B] that much to fuckin' [E] hurt, _ and a silent singlet singer [A] that took us by [E] surprise, and
[A] a noxious [E] nostril burner [F#] that brung tears to [B] our eyes, and [E] all such the cranky bastards
sat [A] there adding up [E] the marks, [A] as popular [E] as embroids at [B] the festival [E] of farts.
Cause you'll get two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and
two more for [B] decay, [E] and two for presentation, _
[A] style and grace [E] and class, [A] and a medal for
[E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of farts. _ _ _ _ _
But the highlight of the show this year [A] was two kids with [E] a goat that [A] they'd fed on rocks
[E] and rotten eggs [F#] and dragged in on [B] a rope, and [E] as one young fella grabbed his arms [A] to
line old Billy [E] up, his mate [A] just wandered round [E] the goat's ass and [B] fair kicked him in
[E] the guts, and that old goat farted fuckin' beauty [A] like a shotgun goin' [E] off and fired
[A] a lethal load [E] of gravel shrapnel, [F#] scared shit out of the [B] mob, [E] cause they all died for
cover, [A] and hit the deck [E] in fear, [A] old Sarge just kept [E] on markin' the [B] shot whizzin' past
[E] his ears, he'd give em two points for aroma, [A] two for the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and all in all that bloated goat had [A] probably scored [E] a ten, except
[A] he fartin' shit [E] and shot old fuckin' [B] Sarge ass [E] over it, and with all of the confusion,
[A] and no cunt [E] keepin' score, [A] and old Sarge fuckin' [E] screamin' they [F#] just pissed off out the [B] door,
and [E] even when the dust had settled, [A] no one seemed [E] to care that [A] they'd fucked off with
[E] the medal, cause [B] they'd won it fair [E] and square that goat got two points for aroma, [A] two for
the [E] bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation, [F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from
all of us for [A] [E] payback on old Sarge, and [A] the medal for [E] the best fart at [B] the festival [E] of
farts that goat got two points for aroma, two for the bouquet, [A] two for [E] fermentation,
[F#] and two more for [B] decay, [E] and three big cheers from all of us. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [B] _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _