Chords for Elmer Fudpucker - Damn D.O.T. (Quality Version)

[E] _ [G] _ _ [E] _ _ [G] _ _
[E] Well, I topped that rock in a stardome [B] town, doing 75, head for my [A] hometown, ride broken [B] springs in a tractor [E] with one eye. _ _
Three days popping those little white [B] pills, got air leaks hissing and a humming [A] wheel,
cause I gotta get [B] home to that pretty [Em] woman of mine.
_ [Dbm] _
[E] Got a logbook, ain't been touched in [B] days, a truckload of beer and I'm [A] overweight,
past them [B] A&E eaters and all them [E] Peter _ Carrs.
Gonna see my woman in a couple [B] hours, I might even stop and buy her some [A] flyers
and take a [B] break from all these [E] freeway wars. _
[Dbm] I was listening to Merle's latest hits when I peered through the night
and I saw Ed's sign saying, [Dbm] spot check, [B] pull in [Dbm] please.
[Dm] _ [Ebm]
[E] I learned to myself I'm a son of a [B] bitch, I felt like putting my rig in the [A] ditch,
got a rough enough [B] life, why can't you [E] assholes leave old fuck-pucker alone?
Oh [A] the DOT you _ [E] motherfuckers, why do you pick on [Gb] suckers,
trying to make a living with each [B] delivery? _ _
[E] Got kids to feed and my wife [A] needs shoes, when I think I'm gonna win you make damn sure I lose.
[B] So fuck yourself, [Em] damn DOT. _ _
_ _ _ [Db] _ [E] Well I started looking for a dark back road, [B] thought of my logbook and overweight load,
[A] had to [B] get around the scale house [Gbm] like I've [E] done before.
But I couldn't find the place and I said [B] this is it, I'll figure something out
cause I don't [A] give a shit, so I pulled [B] on in and stopped [E] and opened [Bm] my door.
_ [E] Well the man came out with that chicken shit smile, said [B] climb down boy,
stretch your legs for [A] a while, then he went [B] checking all [E] around my rig.
_ _ Sure enough he found those broken [B] springs, slick tires and other [A] things,
he was getting his [B] chicks out of playing [E] DOT Mr.
P.
_ [Dbm] He said where's your [Abm] logbook?
I [Dbm] said in the [Abm] truck.
[Dbm] He said [B] go get it.
I [Dbm] said well fuck, I knew he had nailed [B] my balls [Gb] to the tree [Dm] this time.
[Ebm] [E] He looked at my book and laughed like [B] hell, said you better come in and set a [A] spell
cause it looks like [B] tonight son, your [E] ass is mine.
_ [A] Oh the DOT you [E] motherfuckers, why do you pick on [Gb] suckers,
trying to make a living with each [B] delivery.
_ _ [E] Got kids to feed and my wife needs [A] shoes, when I think I'm gonna win you make damn sure [B] I lose.
So go fuck yourself, damn [E] DOT.
_ _ _ [C] _ _ _ [Dm]
[F] He got out his pencil, he was bending like [C] a possum, I could see his mean speak starting to [Bb] blossom
and the bread and the [C] jeans, I knew that [F] fucker would take [Ab] it all.
[Eb] _
[F] He said you owe me 800, I [Bb] said I only got [C] 6.
He said I'm sorry boy but you're in a [Bb] fix.
He smiled and [C] said pay phones [F] over there on the wall. _
Well I called for help but I couldn't get [C] through and I thought to myself,
what in the hell will I [Gm] do and I thought about my little woman [Ab] waiting for me in bed.
_ [F]
There just gotta be a way I can [Cm] settle this [C] fine and get on home with that baby of [Bb] mine
but it looks like I'm gonna [C] get fucked right [F] here instead. _ _
[Dm] He said now boy, really I'm a nice [C] guy [Dm] and we can get [C] along if [G] you'll only try
[F] and he came around the counter and walked right [D] up in my [Eb] face.
[C]
[F] He said there is a way I can fix this [C] fine, so I asked what he had in mind.
[Bb] He said we could talk [C] about it later [F] over at his place. _
[Bb] Oh the DOT you [F] motherfuckers, why do you pick on [G] suckers,
trying to make a living with each [C] delivery. _ _
[F] Got kids to feed and my wife needs [Bb] shoes, when I think I'm gonna win you make damn sure I [C] lose.
So fuck yourself, damn [F] DOT. _ _ _
_ _ [Eb] _ [F] _ He said I'll be off here in just a little [C] bit and I thought to myself,
now ain't [Bb] this some shit.
[C] Then he took his hand and [Fm] reached around and fell to my [D] ass.
[F] I said what kind of crock of shit is this?
[C] Then that fucker tried to give me a kiss [Bb] like I was a worm [C] and he was a horny [Fm] bass.
_ _ [F] I jumped back and yelled you [Bb] motherfucker, [Am] move your hand and you stop your ass [Bb] trucker.
He moved his [C] hand and said you don't [F] have to be so mean.
[G] _ [F] I said listen you fucked up human turd, [C] I'm on the CP and I'm spreading the word,
[Bb] soon the world's gonna know [F] that you're a freeway queen.
_ _ [Dm] He said gee whiz, don't get carried away, [C] I was just [Dm] trying to help so you wouldn't have to pay.
[C] I walked out [G] the door and said [C] stick this [G] fine up your ass [C] instead.
[F] I thought now the DOT [Bb] ain't bad [C] enough, making every [A] trucker's life so rough,
[Bb] now we gotta put up [C] with a fucking [F] gay fan.
_ _ [Bb] Oh the DOT you [F] motherfuckers, why do you pick on [G] truckers,
trying to make a living with each [C] delivery.
_ _ [F] Got kids to feed and my wife needs shoes, [Bb] when I think I'm gonna win you make damn sure I lose.
[C] So go fuck yourself, damn [F] DOT.
_ _ [C] Go fuck yourself, damn [F] DOT. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [E] _ [F] I'm not gonna piss in that bottle you motherfucker.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _