Chords for Cher on The Carol Burnett Show (1975): 'The Not So Eternal Triangle'

_ _ [Cm] _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ I forgot you've never seen my apartment before well here it is the torture chamber
I can't wait to to get out of it and away from her _ _
Come on in
_ _ [N] _ Come on
It's not the place mind you it's not a bad apartment really it's just that a wife comes with it well
Thanks to you.
That's not gonna go on much longer.
I'm gonna tell her that I don't love her anymore
I love you.
I want that divorce and we're gonna be so happy
_ _ _ Come on
Will you please come on? _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Don't think I should do you [Em] so forceful.
[F] Oh now come on
_ _ _ [B] _ _ [Bb] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Will you relax [N] darling _ _ _
Nothing to be nervous about my wife comes here.
We'll tell her everything and it'll be all over
You're not going to tell her everything are you Victor everything sweetheart? _ _ _ _ _ _
_ She's seen you in my pajamas _
_ _ _ _ _ If I have to I will my love
Please don't tell her that you saw me in the pajamas that don't have the feet _ _ _
What's the matter with you now we want to be open and aboveboard with this don't we now why do why do I want a
Divorce so I can marry you right all right, but please please don't be harsh with the [D] poor dear
I can't stand harshness darling.
I would never do anything to embarrass you.
I'll be as tactful as possible
I don't have to stay here then do well of course you have to stay here Tweety bird
_ [E] _ _ _ _
Darling I want her to see what I'm getting
[Ab] _
_ [Em] There's a key in the lock that should be her
_ _ [C] _ _ _ _ _ [Em] _
_ _ _ [Gm] _ _ [Gb] _ _ _
_ [B] Hello Victor darling _ [F] hello, uh-oh I
_ [E] _ _ Don't know whether your feeble little brain can grasp this, but I want you to meet the woman I love
[N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ So this is the other woman huh Victor, where did you find her obedient school I? _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ Don't believe that you could stoop that low I know you would say rocky things about me
But the pick on this sweet wholesome woman _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [B] _ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _
_ _ _ [Eb] Olympic swimmer I
_ _ _ _ [N] Stooped Victor.
Yeah, I think it's your behavior.
That's shocking integrating.
Why because I found myself another woman
_ Another woman I could take Victor, but this
_ That's right
_ This is what I prefer over you Victor is this another one of your sick jokes you couldn't possibly be in love with this
Why what's wrong with her don't ask her Victor? _ _
_ For one thing Victor look at the way, she's dressed.
I mean really looks like someone dumped a goodwill truck on the woman _
Well all you're interested in is the surface _
Then I describe her surface as some ways between brick and stucco
_ _ I'll have you know this woman's got a brain
_ And she has a heart of gold
I
Take _ _ _ my word on that well I can see you two have your little minds made up on marriage
So I guess I'll just be civilized about the whole thing
May I get you a drink miss _ I love a Gatorade a _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gatorade how charming
_ _ _ Well, that's another thing I like about this woman _ _
She doesn't have to get dressed up in those fancy low-cut clothes and go to those fancy cocktail parties and guzzle down martinis all night
Thank you ago
_ No, she doesn't need alcohol to bring out her personality
She's lively and vivacious and bubbling without all that as a matter of fact my dear
She doesn't even drink at all she does now Victor that's straight scotch
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [Bb] _ _ _ _ _ [Eb] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ [Ab] _ _ _
_ [N] I
And _ also I
_ Am not surprised because no one has ever accused you of being considerate
_ Considerate considerate you talk about being considerate Victor, and you bring that into my house and only two days after I've cleaned it
_ _ What can you talk like that in front of this poor unfortunate creature because I'm desperate and you you brazen hussy _ _
Sure, it's easy for [D] you
Everywhere you go men throw themselves at your [Bb] feet they grovel for you, but me _ well.
I'm just an ordinary [C] housewife
[Gm] _ _ _
[B] _ _ _ [Bb] _ _ There's nothing I can do [C] but beg beg do you hear me?
There's nothing I can do [Eb] against your tricks, but
_ _ _ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _
_ _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ [N] _
Please stay away from him for me.
There's nothing for you.
There's plenty of fish in the sea.
Please leave my little flounder [Db] alone
_ I had no idea my sweet.
How can you [N] ever forgive me? _ _ _
Victor I love you that much
_ You call this nothing to forgive I can't accept that my darling.
I have to do something to make it up to you
I know let's take a cruise.
We'll throw away the
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [E] _ _
_ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [N] _ _ _ _ I'm gonna be losing along _ _ with a second honey.
Let's make it a first honeymoon darling.
Let's go make the [E] arrangements _ _ _
_ _ _ [C] _ _ [Bm] _ _ _
_ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Oh goodbye
_ [E] _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ [Ab] _ _ _
_ _ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _