Amish Paradise (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio) Chords

[Ab] _ _ _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
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_ [B] _ _ _ _ [C] _ _ [G]
[Ab] As I walk through the valley where [Bb] I harvest [Ab] my grain, I take [G] a look at my wife [Cm] and realize she's very plain.
[Ab] But that's just perfect for [Fm] an Amish like me.
You know [B] I shun fancy things [Cm] like electricity.
_ [G]
[Ab] At 4.30. in the morning I'm [F] milking cows. [B] Jebediah feeds the [C] chickens and Jacob plows. Fool, [Ab] and I've been milking and [F] plowing so long that [B] even Ezekiel thinks that [C] my mind is gone. I'm [Ab] a man of the land, I'm [F] into discipline. Got [G] a Bible in my hand and [C] a beard on my chin. But if [Ab] I finish all of my chores [Fm] and you finish thine, then [B] tonight we're gonna party like [C] it's 1699. _ [Fm] We've been spending most our lives [G] living in an Amish [Cm] _ paradise. _ [Ab] I churn butter [Fm] once or twice [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] It's hard work and [Fm] _ sacrifice [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] We sell quilts at [Fm] discount price [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. A local boy kicked me in the butt last week. I just [G] smiled at him and I turned the other cheek. I really don't care, in fact I wish him well. [Ab] Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell. But I ain't never punched a tourist [F] even if he deserved it. [G] An Amish [B] with a toot, you [C] know that's unheard of. [Ab] I never wear buttons but [F] I got a cool hat. And [B] my homies agree I [C] really look good in black, fool. [Ab] If you come to visit you'll [F] be bored to tears. We [B] haven't even paid the phone [C] bill in 300 years. But [Ab] we ain't really quaint so [F] please don't point and stare. [B] We're just technologically [Cm] impaired. There's [Fm] no phone, no lights, no motor car, [B] not a single [C] luxury. _ _ [Ab] Like Robinson _ [F] _ Crusoe, it's [B] as primitive as can [C] be. [G] _ _ [Ab] We've been spending [Fm] most our lives [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] We're just plain [Fm] and simple guys [G] living in an [C] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] There's no time [Fm] for sin and vice [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] We don't fight, [Fm] we all play nice [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] Hitching up the buggy, [F] churning lots of butter. [B] Rave the barn on Monday, [C] soon I'll raise another. [Ab] Think you're really righteous? [Fm] Think you're pure in heart? [G] Well I know I'm a million [C] times as humble as thou [Fm] art. I'm the pious guy the little omelettes wanna be like [B] on my knees day and night [C] scoring points for the afterlife. [Ab] So don't be vain [Fm] and don't be whiny or [Em] else my brother I might have to [C] get medieval on your hiney. [Fm] We've been spending most our lives [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ _ [Ab] _ _ _ [Fm] _ _ _
[G] Living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] There's no cops [Fm] or traffic lights [G] living in an [Cm] Amish paradise. _ [Ab] But you'd [Fm] probably think it bites [G] living in an [C] Amish _ paradise. _ [Ab] _ Oh _ [F] _ _ [G] yeah! _ _ _ _ [Cm] _ _ _ [Abm] _ _ _ _ [Fm] _ _ _
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