Chords for Allan Sherman - Dodging the Draft

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [Bbm] _ _ _ [F] _
First you tell [G] your draft board you're hooked on dope.
[Ab] You don't need [Gm] the army because you've seen Bob Hope.
_ [Eb] Walk around the floor kind of nice and loose.
_ [Bb] Tell them [C] your [Db] fiancé's name is [Bb] Bruce.
[A] When they ask about your schooling, then you say _ [Gm] that you studied [D] under Cassius [Bb] Clay.
Then [Db] put some lipstick on [Ab] when you're photographed.
[Fm] _
[Bbm] And that's what I [Eb] call dodging the draft.
[Ab] _ _ _ [F] _ _ [Bbm] _ _
[Eb] _ Then you show the [A] captain a note from mom.
[Bb] Stand there while he reads it and suck your thumb.
[Eb] When he takes your family history, state with pride.
[Ab] _ Benedict Arnold was on [Gb] my father's side.
[C] He'll hand you an IQ test, just look [Cm] at it with gloom.
[Bb] Then fold it like an airplane and sail it across the room.
It may believe you [D] don't know.
You're [Bb] far from your [Fm] raft.
[F] That's what I call shirking your [Ab] military responsibility.
_ [Gb] _ _ _ [Bm] _
_ [E] _ [Gb] Clump around the floor like your feet are flat.
When they [Gbm] ask about your hearing, just say, [Ab] how's that?
If the [E] sergeant wants a cigarette, treat him right.
Set [Dbm] fire to your draft card [D] and offer [Db] him a light.
[Dbm] When you see the [Gb] eye chart, don't [Gb] worry at all.
[Gbm] Say, I'll be glad to read it.
Just point [B] me at the wall.
And if [D] the draft lord [Eb] acts in the [Gb] usual way,
[Bm] you'll be what I call [E] _ 1A.
_ [Ab] _ _ [Gb] _ _ [D] _ _ _ [C] _ _ _ [Eb] _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _
_ [Ab] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [Eb] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [Fm] _ _ _ [Ab] _ _ [F] _ _
_ _ _ [Cm] _ _ _ _ [Gb] _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _