Chords for 12 Unforgettable Maynard James Keenan Moments

[Bb] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[E] _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _ _
Yeah!
Yeah!
_ _ _ Alright, _ _ _ check this out.
If you don't do as I say, I'll turn you all into granola crunching, politically correct, hippie, lesbo, feminists.
[Db] _ _ _
_ _ _ [Gb] _ _ _ _ [N] _
Okay, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ okay, what do you want us to do?
I want you to go back in time, before the birth of Christ, and defile the Virgin Mary!
[D] Gloria, [Gm] Gloria!
Woo!
_ _ [A] Gloria, Gloria! _
_ That's it? _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [D] _ [Eb] Let me tell you something. _
[D] _ _ _ _ [Eb] This is a holy [Am] song.
[D] May the death of Jesus be [Eb] like an April [C] sky, [D] with eleven babies on it, [Eb] and the resurrection [Am] of the world.
[D] _
_ I watch you [Eb] whisper, something but
_ _ [D] _ Mother, I watch you whisper, [F] something [Eb] but the past is past. _
[D] _ _ Why can't we [Eb] not praise [F] the [Am] Lord? _ _ _ _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ [C] _ [A] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[Am] Oh, Gloria,
Something [A] but Gloria,
Shall ever be in our hearts.
Amen.
There [N] was a particular book that inspired you about the study of human [Ab] pain.
Could you tell us a little bit [D] about that?
It's a book written in the late 40s by a guy named Ronald P.
Vinson.
_ And the _ best act of explanation I could give is just what you hear on the records.
You know, it's kind of like an example, you know, a practical application of those kind of principles.
We're actually going to [A] release the book, and we were in the process [Dm] of releasing it when a family member showed up [Gm] and gave us a cease and desist letter.
The Lord Almighty says, I will punish [Ab] you, you know, I will strip you naked [D] and let the [A] nation see you, see you in all your [D] shame.
_ [Ab] _ _ What God is trying [B] to say here is that y'all are wearing [Ab] too many [G] clothes in order to become one with [Dm] Jesus fucking [D] Christ. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [Bbm] Grab [G] a pole.
_ _ _ _ [Am] _ [Ab] _ _
_ The problem was that the music that we [N] were listening to didn't quite [E] have the climax right where we wanted the climax for our own personal [Ab] masturbation.
So we decided to do is write [Bb] songs that had [G] the climax in the right positions for us, [Gm] depending on what day we were jerking off.
Fuck Dolly Parton, fuck Loretta, _ fuck Barbara Mandrell and fuck all over [C] again.
_ _ _ Fuck Minnie Pearl, _ [Gm] fuck that was grass leaf little [D] girl.
I [Bb] fuck the judge.
[C] You fuck the judge?
Hell [Gm] yeah, my country boner.
[F] It [Gb] won't [D] go [C] down, it won't go down, it won't [Gb] go down.
[G] What [N] was the song that you did to the Fibonacci sequence? _ _ _
I believe it was Foggy Mountain _ Breakdown.
Really?
No.
I think the funny thing is people like myself actually trying to force those numbers on a song, it's kind of funny, it's kind of clunky because the song is that.
Everything is that. _ _
Right, your face is that.
Force that into a song is a little soft work.
So I'm reprimanding myself for being a little silly.
Before we get started I have something I really need to get off my chest.
[A] It's really important, I think [G] I need to say this and share it with you.
[Ab] _ I'm going to speed up because [Bm] I just heard people over there saying that the children of Bollywood are going to be [N] telling the revolution.
What do you say?
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